Jesse Williams' Divorce: The 'Grey's Anatomy' Star and Wife Clashed over Living in L.A., Says Source

News of Jesse Williams’ split from wife Aryn Drake-Lee came as a shock to Grey’s Anatomy fans — and to those who know the former couple well.

“None of us saw this coming,” a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Jesse lived for her.”

Williams, 35, wed Drake-Lee in 2012 after five years of dating and is father to their two young children: daughter Sadie, 3, and son Maceo, who was born in 2015. The source believes the Grey’s star was the one to actually file for divorce.

“If you knew the couple they were back in Brooklyn, when he had dreads and a backpack and she was grinding doing real estate, you wouldn’t believe it,” explains the source, who thinks the pair’s relocation to Los Angeles contributed to tensions in their relationship.

“[Aryn] thought everyone was so different from their friends back in New York, and not as genuine,” says the source, who adds that the couple was in the middle of adding a second wing to their L.A. home when news of the divorce broke Monday.

Adds the source: “And Jesse was never really around because of work and she was always just with the kids. Still, we didn’t see this coming.”

But despite the tension, the source thinks Williams and Drake-Lee were a good match.

“They’ve been together forever,” says the source. “We didn’t see this coming.”