The release of "Titanic," the blockbuster that made her a household name, should have been a happy time for Kate Winslet. Instead, she was mourning the loss of her first love, Stephen Tredre.

"Looking back, I see what I was dealing with when 'Titanic' came out," the 31-year-old actress says in Sunday's Parade magazine. "I had a lot of pain, and I was confused about who I was."

The Britain-born Winslet, who's married to director Sam Mendes, met Tredre in London when she was 15 and he was 28. Tredre was diagnosed with bone cancer in 1994 and died three years later during the opening week of "Titanic."