The Best 'American Beauty' Quotes, Ranked
- 112 VOTES
Save Yourself
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Brad Dupree: "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.
Lester Burnham: Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing. - 222 VOTES
So Much Beauty in the World
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Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in. - 312 VOTES
I Rule
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Carolyn Burnham: Uh, whose car is that out front?
Lester Burnham: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule! - 410 VOTES
On What Grounds
Carolyn Burnham: Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
Lester Burnham: On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't f**k other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed! - 516 VOTES
Remember The Posters
Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die. - 69 VOTES
Trying To Look Attractive
Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive?
Jane Burnham: Yes.
Carolyn Burnham: Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably. - 710 VOTES
In A Coma
Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up. - 810 VOTES
So Don't Pay Me
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Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.
Catering Boss: Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Catering Boss: ...asshole.
Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero! - Photo:
- 910 VOTES
I Need to Shape Up
Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked! - 1014 VOTES
It's Just a Couch
Carolyn Burnham: This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. This is not just a couch.
Lester Burnham: It's just a couch! - 1112 VOTES
Don't Give Up On Me Dad
Colonel Frank Fitts: You need structure. Yeah? You need discipline.
Ricky Fitts: Yes, sir. Thank you for trying to teach me. Don't give up on me, Dad. - 1210 VOTES
I Had My Whole Life Ahead
Lester Burnham: When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track.
Ricky Fitts: That sucks.
Lester Burnham: No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me. - 136 VOTES
Ordinary Boring
Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!
Ricky Fitts: Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it. - 145 VOTES
Role Model for a Father
Jane Burnham: I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school. What a lame-o. Someone really should just put him out of his misery.
Ricky Fitts: Want me to kill him for you?
Jane Burnham: Yeah. Would you? - 1510 VOTES
Speaking Bluntly
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Ricky Fitts: Excuse me for speaking so bluntly sir. But those f*gs make me want to puke my f**king guts out.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Well, me too son. Me too.