Dax Shepard reveals relapse after 16 years of sobriety during emotional podcast episode
Dax Shepard opened up about his battle with addiction in an extremely personal episode of his podcast, "Armchair Expert," released Friday.
The actor and father of two said his issues with prescription pain medicine started back up again due to problems with his hand and shoulder that began around six months ago.
He admitted he was lying to people in his life while taking excessive amounts of pain medicine he had been prescribed, buying pills and carrying around this "enormous secret."
Shepard, 45, said he recently revealed what was going on to his wife, actress Kristen Bell, and to his podcast producer, Monica Padman.
In the episode, recorded Monday, Sept. 21, he announced he was seven days sober.
The actor explained that he went to several AA meetings following his confession to those closest to him.
On Sept. 1, the day Shepard and his family celebrated his 16th year sober, he said he went to a meeting and received so much "kindness" and "unconditional love" from his peers.
He said he was honest about his addiction and opened up further on his struggles.
"It was very emotional," he said about the metting. "It was a really surreal kind of experience."
"When it was over, I actually, mentally -- for the first time in a very long time -- felt optimistic," he continued. "Because for the last -- a long time -- I've known intellectually that things were going to get worse, that each encounter with it has gotten more shady and more dangerous. And I recognize that the next go-round would be 'Oh, I can't get pills, let's snort heroin.'"
He then reflected on a takeaway from his 16 years of sobriety.
"The huge gift that the 16 years did give me was, I used to be able to gaslight people daily, and it didn't bother me," he said. "And I've had a good 15 1/2 years, or maybe more, of maybe not gaslighting people, and I just don't have that tolerance for it."
He said during his recent relapse he didn't "have a single desire or fantasy or ideation about drinking or doing cocaine."
Shepard's admission on his podcast was met with hundreds of supportive comments across social media, praising him for his honesty.
In a post on Instagram, the actor described "Day 7" as, "An episode I hoped I'd never have to record, but one I felt I owed to all the beautiful Armcheries who have been on this ride with me for the last couple years."
Listen to his entire podcast here.
