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The Undertaker's Daughter
What if the place you called 'home' happened to be a funeral home? Kate Mayfield explores what it meant to be the daughter of a small-town undertaker in this fascinating memoir evocative of Six Feet Under and The Help, with a hint of Mary Roach's Stiff.
The first time I touched a dead person, I was too short to reach into the casket, so my father picked me up and I leaned in for that first, empty, cold touch. It was thrilling, because it was an unthinkable act.
After Kate Mayfield was born, she was taken directly to a funeral home. Her father was an undertaker, and for thirteen years the family resided in a place nearly synonymous with death. A place where the living and the dead entered their house like a vapor. The place where Kate would spend the entirety of her childhood. In a memoir that reads like a Harper Lee novel, Mayfield draws the reader into a world of Southern mystique and ghosts.
Kate's father set up shop in a small town where he was one of two white morticians during the turbulent 1960s. Jubilee, Kentucky, was a segregated, god-fearing community where no one kept secrets, except the ones they were buried with. By opening a funeral home, Kate's father also opened the door to family feuds, fetishes, and victims of accidents, murder, and suicide. The family saw it all. They also saw the quiet ruin of Kate's father, who hid alcoholism and infidelity behind a cool, charismatic exterior. As Mayfield grows from trusting child to rebellious teen, she begins to find the enforced hush of the funeral home oppressive, and longs for the day she can escape the confines of her small town.
In The Undertaker's Daughter, Kate has written a triumph of a memoir. This vivid and stranger-than-fiction true story ultimately teaches us how living in a house of death can prepare one for life.
The first time I touched a dead person, I was too short to reach into the casket, so my father picked me up and I leaned in for that first, empty, cold touch. It was thrilling, because it was an unthinkable act.
After Kate Mayfield was born, she was taken directly to a funeral home. Her father was an undertaker, and for thirteen years the family resided in a place nearly synonymous with death. A place where the living and the dead entered their house like a vapor. The place where Kate would spend the entirety of her childhood. In a memoir that reads like a Harper Lee novel, Mayfield draws the reader into a world of Southern mystique and ghosts.
Kate's father set up shop in a small town where he was one of two white morticians during the turbulent 1960s. Jubilee, Kentucky, was a segregated, god-fearing community where no one kept secrets, except the ones they were buried with. By opening a funeral home, Kate's father also opened the door to family feuds, fetishes, and victims of accidents, murder, and suicide. The family saw it all. They also saw the quiet ruin of Kate's father, who hid alcoholism and infidelity behind a cool, charismatic exterior. As Mayfield grows from trusting child to rebellious teen, she begins to find the enforced hush of the funeral home oppressive, and longs for the day she can escape the confines of her small town.
In The Undertaker's Daughter, Kate has written a triumph of a memoir. This vivid and stranger-than-fiction true story ultimately teaches us how living in a house of death can prepare one for life.
350 pages, Hardcover
First published August 28, 2014
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December 19, 2014
4.6 Rating!!!
I found it hard to pull myself away from the many 'varieties' of stories taking place within these pages.
Can you imagine what your childhood might have been like had 'you' been born into a family death business? What questions might you ask your parents? What might you try to hide? How to handle jokes by other children at school?
Kate vividly conjures up the Mayfield family household
....Father, Mother, and siblings Evelyn, Thomas, and Jemma
The Mayfield family try to live a normal life. The parents have community friends over for poker nights, creating a jovial atmosphere in spite of all the morning and death. The family considers themselves part of the town community. Their business is open 7 days a week. The drawbacks is a sense of confinement -- but mostly their father is very proud of the business he runs. He's a proud man ---with a quiet drinking problem.
Evelyn, Kate's older sister, had an underlying mental disorder diagnosis. Growing up, Evelyn had mood swings --but no one in the town of Jubiliee used those words. People might say retarded --but in the Mayfield family -- Evelyn's behavior was just buried and ignored.
Towards the end of the book, a scene takes place between 'Evelyn, Kate, and the younger sister Jemma, which is a gripping & haunting.
Political community problems soar in Jubilee when the Mayfield family inherits an Historical Mansion.
Between the youth, the majority of black people agree that crossing the color line is wrong -sinful.
When Kate falls for a black boy -- trouble is in the air.
Reading about Kate growing up during the 60's and 70's, with the challenges she faced within her family, her peers, the larger community, and the political times --has been memorable.
I had a great laugh when Kate talked about the 70's. I, too, could have done without bell bottoms, and "The Mod Squad".
A very entertaining -'educational' (death business) --life experience book!
I found it hard to pull myself away from the many 'varieties' of stories taking place within these pages.
Can you imagine what your childhood might have been like had 'you' been born into a family death business? What questions might you ask your parents? What might you try to hide? How to handle jokes by other children at school?
Kate vividly conjures up the Mayfield family household
....Father, Mother, and siblings Evelyn, Thomas, and Jemma
The Mayfield family try to live a normal life. The parents have community friends over for poker nights, creating a jovial atmosphere in spite of all the morning and death. The family considers themselves part of the town community. Their business is open 7 days a week. The drawbacks is a sense of confinement -- but mostly their father is very proud of the business he runs. He's a proud man ---with a quiet drinking problem.
Evelyn, Kate's older sister, had an underlying mental disorder diagnosis. Growing up, Evelyn had mood swings --but no one in the town of Jubiliee used those words. People might say retarded --but in the Mayfield family -- Evelyn's behavior was just buried and ignored.
Towards the end of the book, a scene takes place between 'Evelyn, Kate, and the younger sister Jemma, which is a gripping & haunting.
Political community problems soar in Jubilee when the Mayfield family inherits an Historical Mansion.
Between the youth, the majority of black people agree that crossing the color line is wrong -sinful.
When Kate falls for a black boy -- trouble is in the air.
Reading about Kate growing up during the 60's and 70's, with the challenges she faced within her family, her peers, the larger community, and the political times --has been memorable.
I had a great laugh when Kate talked about the 70's. I, too, could have done without bell bottoms, and "The Mod Squad".
A very entertaining -'educational' (death business) --life experience book!
May 3, 2015
The Undertaker's Daughter is the author Kate Mayfield, and we first meet her as a little girl. She lives with her siblings and parents above the funeral home that her father Frank owns in Jubilee, Kentucky; and these are her memories of what that was like for her-- socially, psychologically, emotionally. I was particularly drawn to this true story because in the same era as this book takes place, the 60s and 70s, my mother and I had friends who lived above a funeral home. I always felt both excited and a little creeped out whenever we visited their upstairs living quarters. Some of the Mayfields' friends felt the same way.
Mayfield has a gift for storytelling. What I enjoyed most were her younger years. With echoes of Harper Lee's Scout, she narrates how once her father drove her in the ambulance for chocolate meringue pie, how one bite sent her spinning on her stool until she was dizzy. Then it was off on an ambulance call to an old teacher who had fallen. By keeping quiet and collected during the transport, she passed her father's etiquette test for emergencies--and anytime she pleased Frank, that was a very good thing.
The story starts out sweet and a delight to read. Then it gets sad and perhaps sidetracked with segregation, mental illness, alcoholism, lawsuits--and I felt a change in the tone and the style, from an endearing Southern coming of age yarn to a loosely woven hodgepodge for a few of the chapters. It's such a downer when a book starts out remarkably and then loses some of its lustre as it progresses. I thought the Epilogue tied things up nicely, though. Mayfield had some answers finally to the perplexities of her family, and emphasized how important the father-daughter relationship was to her. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher.
Mayfield has a gift for storytelling. What I enjoyed most were her younger years. With echoes of Harper Lee's Scout, she narrates how once her father drove her in the ambulance for chocolate meringue pie, how one bite sent her spinning on her stool until she was dizzy. Then it was off on an ambulance call to an old teacher who had fallen. By keeping quiet and collected during the transport, she passed her father's etiquette test for emergencies--and anytime she pleased Frank, that was a very good thing.
The story starts out sweet and a delight to read. Then it gets sad and perhaps sidetracked with segregation, mental illness, alcoholism, lawsuits--and I felt a change in the tone and the style, from an endearing Southern coming of age yarn to a loosely woven hodgepodge for a few of the chapters. It's such a downer when a book starts out remarkably and then loses some of its lustre as it progresses. I thought the Epilogue tied things up nicely, though. Mayfield had some answers finally to the perplexities of her family, and emphasized how important the father-daughter relationship was to her. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher.
December 21, 2014
This memoir tells of Kate Mayfield’s life in a small Southern town in the Sixties. Jubilee, Kentucky was still, to all intents and purposes, a segregated town when Frank Mayfield moved his family there and set up his new business. Mother Lily Tate longed for acceptance and a fresh start in her marriage. For, like all families, the Mayfield’s had secrets. Father Frank was a dandy; a flirtatious and sociable man, who led grieving families through funeral arrangements with respect and care. His liking for the ladies and the mental health of older sister, Evelyn, were known by Kate, and cast a shadow over her life; but they were issues not faced until she was much older than the child she is when we first meet her.
Although this book is set in an undertaker’s, it is certainly not dour or depressing. However, when the words, “we’ve got a body,” were spoken by Kate’s mother, she knew that the family had to be silent and out of sight. There could be no music, no playing, not even cooking smells wafting downstairs, when grieving relatives visited. Kate’s father acted as an ambulance driver, as well as an undertaker, and this is a tale – not only of his relationship with Kate and his occupation – but also of small town politics; some of them ugly indeed. There is local family clannish mentality, which means that Frank’s business is constantly taken by his competitor, Alfred Deboe. There are ugly rumours about Frank and his ally, the reclusive and elderly, Miss Agnes. There is also racism, which is taken almost for granted and which Kate inadvertently confronts by her attraction to a young boy at school. Indeed, you cannot blame Kate for her longing to break out of this small town mentality and leaving Jubilee behind. What always pulls her in two directions is her relationship with her father, which remains strong through everything.
I found this a very interesting picture of a family and of Kate’s gradual acceptance of her father’s profession. She goes from resentment to embarrassment to respect, as she comes to understand what her father’s work entails. A teacher, who looks down upon Kate, needs Frank’s services and their relationship suddenly changes. Death visits us all and, despite some people not wishing to think about it, the inhabitants of Jubilee are grateful for his care and attention. The relationship between Kate and her father is central to the book and she tells their story well. Also, at the end of most chapters are a section called, “In Memoriam,” which details some death in the community – be it the drowning of a girl in Kate’s class or the murder of a local family by a father, and gives a sense of the inhabitants of Jubilee. Lastly, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
Although this book is set in an undertaker’s, it is certainly not dour or depressing. However, when the words, “we’ve got a body,” were spoken by Kate’s mother, she knew that the family had to be silent and out of sight. There could be no music, no playing, not even cooking smells wafting downstairs, when grieving relatives visited. Kate’s father acted as an ambulance driver, as well as an undertaker, and this is a tale – not only of his relationship with Kate and his occupation – but also of small town politics; some of them ugly indeed. There is local family clannish mentality, which means that Frank’s business is constantly taken by his competitor, Alfred Deboe. There are ugly rumours about Frank and his ally, the reclusive and elderly, Miss Agnes. There is also racism, which is taken almost for granted and which Kate inadvertently confronts by her attraction to a young boy at school. Indeed, you cannot blame Kate for her longing to break out of this small town mentality and leaving Jubilee behind. What always pulls her in two directions is her relationship with her father, which remains strong through everything.
I found this a very interesting picture of a family and of Kate’s gradual acceptance of her father’s profession. She goes from resentment to embarrassment to respect, as she comes to understand what her father’s work entails. A teacher, who looks down upon Kate, needs Frank’s services and their relationship suddenly changes. Death visits us all and, despite some people not wishing to think about it, the inhabitants of Jubilee are grateful for his care and attention. The relationship between Kate and her father is central to the book and she tells their story well. Also, at the end of most chapters are a section called, “In Memoriam,” which details some death in the community – be it the drowning of a girl in Kate’s class or the murder of a local family by a father, and gives a sense of the inhabitants of Jubilee. Lastly, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
January 17, 2015
The Undertaker's Daughter is a memoir by Kate Mayfield whose family owned and operated a funeral home in Jubilee, a small town on the border of Kentucky and Tennessee, from the 1960's to the late 1970's.
Kate and her family, her parents Lily and Frank and siblings Thomas, Evelyn and Jemma, lived above the business, housed on the ground floor of their home. As a young child Kate had the run of the place, though she was required to tiptoe around their quarters when a body was in residence. In the first few chapters, she shares her charming curiosity about the deceased that passed through the home, uncomplicated by a fear of death and social disapproval.
As Kate grows up, the memoir's focus shifts to the town and her family, though the undertaking business remains relevant. She details the small town politics the family had to contend with, and touches on the issues of segregation and desegregation, through her friendship with the family's housekeeper, Belle, and her own clandestine relationships with two African American boys as a teen. With regards to her family, Kate reveals her sister's mental illness but is especially focused on her relationship with her father, a complicated man she worshiped as a child, but who lost some of his lustre when Kate eventually learned of the secrets he kept as a serial adulterer and secret drinker.
Well written, The Undertaker's Daughter is a charming and poignant memoir exploring one woman's experience of life and death in a small southern town.
January 8, 2015
Mayfield’s father ran one of the three funeral homes in the small town of Jubilee, Kentucky in the 1960s and 70s. “I wondered why my father chose to wake up every morning to take care of dead people.” Mayfield only discovered after his death that he’d come back from World War II service with PTSD; this, combined with his brother’s death in the war, influenced his decision to become an undertaker. He was a consummate professional and a natty dresser, but also a womanizing alcoholic; Mayfield fosters sympathy for him through her balanced portrayal.
The reality of processing dead bodies in one’s home was often gruesome, especially when a local man shot his wife and children and then himself. Mayfield and her three siblings (including a bipolar sister) had to be quiet and sit at the top of the stairs whenever business came in. The family traveled in the ambulance/hearse as a matter of course. Everyone knew when they were coming; while some found it reassuring, others didn’t like such an obvious memento mori.
I was interested in the firsthand look at the funeral business and the everyday details about this Southern town, but not so much in the personal stuff about Kate herself, such as her scandalous interracial dating. (The Miss Agnes material, especially, bored me stiff.) My preference was for the cozy, generic descriptions of a small town’s machinations: the increasingly bitter rivalry with another local funeral business, their housekeeper Belle’s black dialect, bridge games, getting pie at the coffee counter, and so on. I especially liked the account of an enthusiastic eulogy – “We had an awful lot of God in our town. Jubilee had more churches than it knew what to do with.”
This memoir is written very much like a novel; you can certainly see why it has drawn comparisons to The Help. The recreated dialogue is skillful and enthusiastic, yet I was always aware that Mayfield couldn’t possibly have remembered any of it, and some of it is in a too-obvious father-daughter Q&A format to convey information about her father’s work. Another recent corpse-themed memoir I liked better was The Removers by Andrew Meredith.
The reality of processing dead bodies in one’s home was often gruesome, especially when a local man shot his wife and children and then himself. Mayfield and her three siblings (including a bipolar sister) had to be quiet and sit at the top of the stairs whenever business came in. The family traveled in the ambulance/hearse as a matter of course. Everyone knew when they were coming; while some found it reassuring, others didn’t like such an obvious memento mori.
I was interested in the firsthand look at the funeral business and the everyday details about this Southern town, but not so much in the personal stuff about Kate herself, such as her scandalous interracial dating. (The Miss Agnes material, especially, bored me stiff.) My preference was for the cozy, generic descriptions of a small town’s machinations: the increasingly bitter rivalry with another local funeral business, their housekeeper Belle’s black dialect, bridge games, getting pie at the coffee counter, and so on. I especially liked the account of an enthusiastic eulogy – “We had an awful lot of God in our town. Jubilee had more churches than it knew what to do with.”
This memoir is written very much like a novel; you can certainly see why it has drawn comparisons to The Help. The recreated dialogue is skillful and enthusiastic, yet I was always aware that Mayfield couldn’t possibly have remembered any of it, and some of it is in a too-obvious father-daughter Q&A format to convey information about her father’s work. Another recent corpse-themed memoir I liked better was The Removers by Andrew Meredith.
February 11, 2015
Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for providing me with a complimentary e-book copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
My Review: In this memoir, Kate Mayfield writes honestly about her life growing up in an unusual setting: a funeral home. Her family life is definitely not ordinary and you feel for her as she tries to navigate within her familial dysfunction, her unique living situation and life in small town (sometimes small minded) Kentucky.
This book had some great moments and some 'just okay' moments for me. I enjoyed the author's voice and had to keep reminding myself that this was a memoir because it read much more like a fictional read and definitely had a 'stranger than fiction' feel to it. And although it did tend to drag a bit in the beginning for me, the pace picked up towards the end climaxing with a very distressing scene between two of the characters.
There's a lot going on in this book besides life in a funeral home (which if I'm being honest took a back seat to other story lines the older Kate got). It dealt with segregation, alcoholism, mental illness, death and even a lawsuit. The reader also gets a peek at some of the unique services that the undertakers of the time offered.
The book blurb describes this book as a cross between The Help and Six Feet Under but to me the association with The Help was a little weak. I had expected a lot more on that topic but got much more about the inner workings of a funeral home and the antics of the townspeople which were interesting but not what I had expected to read.
In the end this book focused on a tumultuous and dysfunctional family with many secrets. The characters were unique and I liked getting a unique look at what life was like for Mayfield as she struggled to come to terms with her changing view of her father, her town's restrictive view of race and her very tumultuous relationship with her older sister. While this is not a light-hearted read it did ooze Southern charm and I enjoyed getting a view into Mayfield's unique life and struggles.
My Rating: 3/5 stars
** This book review, as well as hundreds more, can also be found on my blog, The Baking Bookworm (www.thebakingbookworm.blogspot.ca) where I also share my favourite recipes. **
My Review: In this memoir, Kate Mayfield writes honestly about her life growing up in an unusual setting: a funeral home. Her family life is definitely not ordinary and you feel for her as she tries to navigate within her familial dysfunction, her unique living situation and life in small town (sometimes small minded) Kentucky.
This book had some great moments and some 'just okay' moments for me. I enjoyed the author's voice and had to keep reminding myself that this was a memoir because it read much more like a fictional read and definitely had a 'stranger than fiction' feel to it. And although it did tend to drag a bit in the beginning for me, the pace picked up towards the end climaxing with a very distressing scene between two of the characters.
There's a lot going on in this book besides life in a funeral home (which if I'm being honest took a back seat to other story lines the older Kate got). It dealt with segregation, alcoholism, mental illness, death and even a lawsuit. The reader also gets a peek at some of the unique services that the undertakers of the time offered.
The book blurb describes this book as a cross between The Help and Six Feet Under but to me the association with The Help was a little weak. I had expected a lot more on that topic but got much more about the inner workings of a funeral home and the antics of the townspeople which were interesting but not what I had expected to read.
In the end this book focused on a tumultuous and dysfunctional family with many secrets. The characters were unique and I liked getting a unique look at what life was like for Mayfield as she struggled to come to terms with her changing view of her father, her town's restrictive view of race and her very tumultuous relationship with her older sister. While this is not a light-hearted read it did ooze Southern charm and I enjoyed getting a view into Mayfield's unique life and struggles.
My Rating: 3/5 stars
** This book review, as well as hundreds more, can also be found on my blog, The Baking Bookworm (www.thebakingbookworm.blogspot.ca) where I also share my favourite recipes. **
October 10, 2015
I've said it before, I don't generally read non-fiction. Out of the 60 odd books I've read this year, I think might only be my second non-fiction book. I was persuaded to read this for my bookclub, demonstrating for me the benefit of a bookclub as I never would have picked this up otherwise.
This is they story of Kate Mayfield, who grew up in a small town in America's south during the 1960's as the daughter of an undertaker. The various blurb's I've seen for this book referrence Six Feet Under, My Girl, The Help and To Kill a Mockingbird. I can understand why. They are the cultural reference points for storys about undertakers, or life in America's south prior to the Civil Rights movement. However for me the fact Kate Mayfields father was an undertaker or that she is living through a tumultuous period in America's history are sidenotes to the real story. For me this is a book about a family, struggling with many aspects of life, and the host of interesting characters to enter their life. It is a book of discovery, about coming to the realisation that our parents are not perfect....they are fallible...they are human.
Like may biographical books, it is a book in which little outside the normal run of life happens. People are born, people die, people fight and people make up. Yet is a compelling read. Mayfield's style draws us in. She is funny and touching in equal measure. This is a strong contender for one of my favourite books of the year.
This is they story of Kate Mayfield, who grew up in a small town in America's south during the 1960's as the daughter of an undertaker. The various blurb's I've seen for this book referrence Six Feet Under, My Girl, The Help and To Kill a Mockingbird. I can understand why. They are the cultural reference points for storys about undertakers, or life in America's south prior to the Civil Rights movement. However for me the fact Kate Mayfields father was an undertaker or that she is living through a tumultuous period in America's history are sidenotes to the real story. For me this is a book about a family, struggling with many aspects of life, and the host of interesting characters to enter their life. It is a book of discovery, about coming to the realisation that our parents are not perfect....they are fallible...they are human.
Like may biographical books, it is a book in which little outside the normal run of life happens. People are born, people die, people fight and people make up. Yet is a compelling read. Mayfield's style draws us in. She is funny and touching in equal measure. This is a strong contender for one of my favourite books of the year.
January 3, 2015
The Undertaker's Daughter is a well written memoir of growing up in the small Southern town of Jubelee as much as it is about growing up in a Funeral home. The reason the memoir works is because I really liked Kate. For some reason I kept comparing her to Veda from the movie My Girl. She is a spunky girl growing up during a tough time for the South and to make it more challenging, she is raised around the ceremony of death. While it may seem morbid it really was enlightening to here about the pride her father took in a person's final send off. As I stated before, this memoir is so much deeper than that.
I enjoyed every second of this book. Some memoirs can get boring but then I remember that what I'm reading is someone's real life experiences and it shifts the way I'm thinking as reading the story.
I'd definitely recommend. Thank you so much to Netgalley and Gllery, Threshold, and Pocket Books for the opportunity to read in exchange for an honest review.
I enjoyed every second of this book. Some memoirs can get boring but then I remember that what I'm reading is someone's real life experiences and it shifts the way I'm thinking as reading the story.
I'd definitely recommend. Thank you so much to Netgalley and Gllery, Threshold, and Pocket Books for the opportunity to read in exchange for an honest review.
August 23, 2017
Everyone has a history, their own story to tell when it comes to their lives, to the moments of their childhoods to that first kiss and the first time. Many will probably be ordinary, live normal everyday, 9 to 5 lives without really thinking about it all.
But what if you were different, what if you were the daughter of an Undertaker, growing up in a funeral home during the late 50's, through the 60's and in to the 70's. It would be interesting in the least to say. But that was the life for Kate Mayfield as she takes us through the fascinating moments of her life, and even the secrets she probably thought she would never tell.
In the Undertakers Daughter, we get transported back to Kate's young life, of sharing her home with the dead and the memory of her father and that of living in a small town in America where everyone knew everyone and everyone knew what was going on.
We get taking from the moment her father answers the phone, through to the friendship's she made and kept secret and to the friendship her father had with the red lady. We follow through her childhood and teenage years, the fights with her sisters and parents, to the moment where she leaves for college and on through to her adult life.
The Undertakers Daughter is filled with suspenseful moments and moments where you just grip the book to stop yourself from crying along with the characters.
When I first picked the book up, I never really understood what it was about and it was left on my bookshelf for a long time before I finally picked it up and realize that it was a memoir. It moved me greatly as I read it and really would recommend it to anyone who asked.
The part which moved me the most was the very ending, the last paragraph of her story.
'He could have chosen to declare the funeral home off-limits to my childhood. But he didn't. How fortunate I was that he allowed me to follow him downstairs each day to occupy his world. He welcomed me with open arms to an environment where I learned to explore, observe, and us my imagination in the midst of death. What a generous gift it was. For when it was time to leave Jubilee, I did so with relish, wide eyes, and an eagerness to test the thumping breast of life. For that, I will always be grateful. '
But what if you were different, what if you were the daughter of an Undertaker, growing up in a funeral home during the late 50's, through the 60's and in to the 70's. It would be interesting in the least to say. But that was the life for Kate Mayfield as she takes us through the fascinating moments of her life, and even the secrets she probably thought she would never tell.
In the Undertakers Daughter, we get transported back to Kate's young life, of sharing her home with the dead and the memory of her father and that of living in a small town in America where everyone knew everyone and everyone knew what was going on.
We get taking from the moment her father answers the phone, through to the friendship's she made and kept secret and to the friendship her father had with the red lady. We follow through her childhood and teenage years, the fights with her sisters and parents, to the moment where she leaves for college and on through to her adult life.
The Undertakers Daughter is filled with suspenseful moments and moments where you just grip the book to stop yourself from crying along with the characters.
When I first picked the book up, I never really understood what it was about and it was left on my bookshelf for a long time before I finally picked it up and realize that it was a memoir. It moved me greatly as I read it and really would recommend it to anyone who asked.
The part which moved me the most was the very ending, the last paragraph of her story.
'He could have chosen to declare the funeral home off-limits to my childhood. But he didn't. How fortunate I was that he allowed me to follow him downstairs each day to occupy his world. He welcomed me with open arms to an environment where I learned to explore, observe, and us my imagination in the midst of death. What a generous gift it was. For when it was time to leave Jubilee, I did so with relish, wide eyes, and an eagerness to test the thumping breast of life. For that, I will always be grateful. '
November 26, 2014
I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I thought going into this book that I would really like it. I didn't. In fact, I really disliked it and hurried through it so I could finally be done with it. If you like your memoirs self-indulgent and full of privilege, here you go.
If you wanted The Help with more death, this is definitely the book for you.
Here's what got me so irritated.
Beyond these issues, I found the plot meandering and uninteresting. The portions about the house her father inherits and the court case following it tedious. Characters come and go in the memoir without really helping the story at all. It felt like some of these characters could have been trimmed from the memoir in a way that remained true to Mayfield's life while telling a more compelling story.
My review seems incongruous with all the other reviews, and maybe I'm just too sensitive about things, but I really didn't like this book.
I thought going into this book that I would really like it. I didn't. In fact, I really disliked it and hurried through it so I could finally be done with it. If you like your memoirs self-indulgent and full of privilege, here you go.
If you wanted The Help with more death, this is definitely the book for you.
Here's what got me so irritated.
Beyond these issues, I found the plot meandering and uninteresting. The portions about the house her father inherits and the court case following it tedious. Characters come and go in the memoir without really helping the story at all. It felt like some of these characters could have been trimmed from the memoir in a way that remained true to Mayfield's life while telling a more compelling story.
My review seems incongruous with all the other reviews, and maybe I'm just too sensitive about things, but I really didn't like this book.
January 16, 2015
Wonderfully written, delightfully descriptive & a "Must Read"!
This is a memoir told through the experiences of one of Frank Mayfield's daughters, as she grew through the years living above Mayfield & Son Funeral Home in a small town of Kentucky named Jubilee
The time period is mainly the 60's & 70's where Kate is enamored with most aspects of her father's business. She uses so many wonderfully descriptive adjectives that the reader feels like an outside observer into her life. You can imagine & see all she is seeing, hearing & experiencing through her well written words
She takes you on a journey through an undertaker's life & work like no other I've ever read before
To retell her story here would do the book an injustice as I feel I wouldn't want to ruin her beautiful story
I highly recommend this book. I'd give it 10 stars if I could. If you enjoy memoirs & interest in a small Kentucky town in the this time period, this is the book to read
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in return for an honest opinion. I'd like to thank the publisher & the author, much appreciated & a fine read indeed!
This is a memoir told through the experiences of one of Frank Mayfield's daughters, as she grew through the years living above Mayfield & Son Funeral Home in a small town of Kentucky named Jubilee
The time period is mainly the 60's & 70's where Kate is enamored with most aspects of her father's business. She uses so many wonderfully descriptive adjectives that the reader feels like an outside observer into her life. You can imagine & see all she is seeing, hearing & experiencing through her well written words
She takes you on a journey through an undertaker's life & work like no other I've ever read before
To retell her story here would do the book an injustice as I feel I wouldn't want to ruin her beautiful story
I highly recommend this book. I'd give it 10 stars if I could. If you enjoy memoirs & interest in a small Kentucky town in the this time period, this is the book to read
I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in return for an honest opinion. I'd like to thank the publisher & the author, much appreciated & a fine read indeed!
November 25, 2014
I got a free copy of this book from the publisher through Netgalley. I am usually a bit apprehensive about memoirs because I find that they can often be self-indulgent or otherwise amount to the mechanical recitation of a series of events. But I really enjoyed this book -- as much as a good novel. Mayfield recounts the first 20 years or so of her life in a small town in Kentucky. It is as much a story of Mayfield's own life as the daughter of an undertaker growing up in a funeral home as it is a story about the southern US in the 60's and 70's. In a way, Mayfield's story is the conventional story of a girl who discovers that her beloved father is not as perfect as she thought and can't wait to leave the stifling environment she lives in. But the details of the setting and Mayfield's strong personality which comes through in her confident narrative style made for a very engaging read that was hard to put down. Highly recommended!
March 10, 2024
DNF’d around 30%. This book was more so about the authors life and not so much about the perspective of being a funeral directors daughter. The only mentions were “we got a body” and her father would go downstairs. The rest was just her growing up in the south during the segregation. Lots of racism and dropping of the n word. This book was all over the place not following a timeline in order at all and was poorly written.
August 12, 2021
“The Undertaker’s Daughter”, a memoir by Kate Mayfield (who is my age and had the same favorite book as a kid I did!!*), evoked SO MANY memories of growing up in the south in the 1960s, of my paternal grandparents’ house in a tiny town in Wisconsin which had formerly been a Funeral Home and was much like the home described in this memoir. Additionally, my maternal grandfather was a traveling casket salesman in Wisconsin and sometimes I went with him to small town Funeral Homes with his “sample books” of cloth interiors, and casket veneers.
This is as much the story of Kate’s father, an undertaker in a small Kentucky town, as it is hers. His life was interesting, colorful, not altogether moral, and fascinating. Even so, he took some of his secrets to the grave.
*Our favorite adolescent book was (is): “A Candle in Her Room” by Ruth M. Arthur. I still re-read it every few years!
This is as much the story of Kate’s father, an undertaker in a small Kentucky town, as it is hers. His life was interesting, colorful, not altogether moral, and fascinating. Even so, he took some of his secrets to the grave.
*Our favorite adolescent book was (is): “A Candle in Her Room” by Ruth M. Arthur. I still re-read it every few years!
October 20, 2019
2.5 stars rounded up to 3. This was a buddy read with Deb and Amy, and had it not been for that, I would have considered abandoning ship around the 50% mark. I've been on a bit of a book slump lately, and this one can safely go on that list of other books I've not enjoyed as much as I had hoped.
First of all, one of my own biases got in the way: I don't really love tell-all memoirs, particularly about family situations. In a lot of them, and in THE UNDERTAKER'S DAUGHTER as well, there is an undercurrent of anger coursing just below the surface that leaves me feeling "icky" while reading. Furthermore, I'm hesitant to believe everything I read when it comes to creative nonfiction. I'm sure some, if not most, of the events recounted are true as memoirists as a rule strive for accuracy, but memories aren't always reliable. Because our memories are more dynamic than static, I know that some of the author's attempts at channeling objectivity are instead subjective truths.
Finally, the trope of "small town girl with big city dreams" emerges, which is worn and doesn't really provide Mayfield with a unique angle to her story. While the title and blurb suggests this book is going to be mostly focused on Mayfield's experience growing up in a funeral home--which it does to some extent--the narrative veers off into a different direction about Mayfield's life in general and her desire to escape her label: "I went to sleep...dreaming of the day...when I would be known to people as someone other than the undertaker's daughter" (254). If I had to pinpoint a focus of her narrative, that change in how others view her would be it. Considering Mayfield is really writing about escape, I find it so unusual that the very title of her book reapplies the identity that she wishes to cast off. Maybe that was Mayfield's original title, but my guess would be it might have been an editor that thought that title would sell better and essentially market something a little different than what the actual memoir offers.
Overall, THE UNDERTAKER'S DAUGHTER was a memoir that I didn't love. On to the next!
First of all, one of my own biases got in the way: I don't really love tell-all memoirs, particularly about family situations. In a lot of them, and in THE UNDERTAKER'S DAUGHTER as well, there is an undercurrent of anger coursing just below the surface that leaves me feeling "icky" while reading. Furthermore, I'm hesitant to believe everything I read when it comes to creative nonfiction. I'm sure some, if not most, of the events recounted are true as memoirists as a rule strive for accuracy, but memories aren't always reliable. Because our memories are more dynamic than static, I know that some of the author's attempts at channeling objectivity are instead subjective truths.
Finally, the trope of "small town girl with big city dreams" emerges, which is worn and doesn't really provide Mayfield with a unique angle to her story. While the title and blurb suggests this book is going to be mostly focused on Mayfield's experience growing up in a funeral home--which it does to some extent--the narrative veers off into a different direction about Mayfield's life in general and her desire to escape her label: "I went to sleep...dreaming of the day...when I would be known to people as someone other than the undertaker's daughter" (254). If I had to pinpoint a focus of her narrative, that change in how others view her would be it. Considering Mayfield is really writing about escape, I find it so unusual that the very title of her book reapplies the identity that she wishes to cast off. Maybe that was Mayfield's original title, but my guess would be it might have been an editor that thought that title would sell better and essentially market something a little different than what the actual memoir offers.
Overall, THE UNDERTAKER'S DAUGHTER was a memoir that I didn't love. On to the next!
March 22, 2015
If this book had ended after the first half, I would have given it 4 stars, and if I had rated it based on the second half, I would have given it 2. I really loved the first half. It was interesting to read about the author growing up in a funeral home, particularly as it takes place in my home state of Kentucky.
The first half was what I expected it to be: about growing up in a funeral home in a small Southern town during the 50s-60s. The author was an entertaining child who didn't shy away from the more macabre aspects of the funeral home. I enjoyed reading about the different ways people deal with grief, as well as the interesting people in her town, such as Belle and Miss Agnes.
I also loved the view into the unfortunate racism of the time. I was practically spitting with rage while reading the part where her preacher was abusing scripture to try to support racial purity. It's bad enough that anyone would support such a position, but to twist the word of God to do so? Enraging.
However, near the middle, the book seemed to become a completely different book entirely. There were parts that didn't seem to fit with the premise of the book, and it became less about the funeral business and more about the author's own sexual awakening (at a tender 14, no less!), her father's infidelity, and her sister's mental disorder.
I wouldn't have minded some of that, like her sister's untreated bipolar disorder, except it seemed out of sync with the first part of the book. I think this wouldn't have bothered me SO much if the book had been marketed better. My impression of the book going into it was that it would focus on the living in a funeral home aspect, as well as the social issues of the time, and the ups and downs of living in a small town. However, that's really just the first half of the book, and the author portrays Jubilee (the setting) as having NO redeeming qualities.
So, while I found the first part of the book hard to put down, I had to force myself to get through the second half and finish the book. Really, I feel like 3 stars is being generous at this point, and I may drop it lower on further reflection.
EDIT: Reading through some other reviews I just remembered a portion of the book that I must have tried to block from my memory because I forgot about it when writing my original review. The portion about a teacher at Mayfield's school who was allowed to take advantage of the girls in his class. It was so disturbing and completely out of place with the rest of the book. I get that it's a memoir, but there didn't seem to be a point to the section at all. There was no encouragement from the author for anyone in a similar situation to report such behavior. Maybe the author didn't want to be preachy, but so many girls in her class were hurt because none of them reported his behavior. Even now, years later, her tone indicated that she didn't really care what happened to those other girls, or girls in future classes, just as long as she was able to escape it. The passage was wholly unsettling, and worse, there didn't seem to be a point. I'm almost tempted to drop the book down to 1 star just for this section.
The first half was what I expected it to be: about growing up in a funeral home in a small Southern town during the 50s-60s. The author was an entertaining child who didn't shy away from the more macabre aspects of the funeral home. I enjoyed reading about the different ways people deal with grief, as well as the interesting people in her town, such as Belle and Miss Agnes.
I also loved the view into the unfortunate racism of the time. I was practically spitting with rage while reading the part where her preacher was abusing scripture to try to support racial purity. It's bad enough that anyone would support such a position, but to twist the word of God to do so? Enraging.
However, near the middle, the book seemed to become a completely different book entirely. There were parts that didn't seem to fit with the premise of the book, and it became less about the funeral business and more about the author's own sexual awakening (at a tender 14, no less!), her father's infidelity, and her sister's mental disorder.
I wouldn't have minded some of that, like her sister's untreated bipolar disorder, except it seemed out of sync with the first part of the book. I think this wouldn't have bothered me SO much if the book had been marketed better. My impression of the book going into it was that it would focus on the living in a funeral home aspect, as well as the social issues of the time, and the ups and downs of living in a small town. However, that's really just the first half of the book, and the author portrays Jubilee (the setting) as having NO redeeming qualities.
So, while I found the first part of the book hard to put down, I had to force myself to get through the second half and finish the book. Really, I feel like 3 stars is being generous at this point, and I may drop it lower on further reflection.
EDIT: Reading through some other reviews I just remembered a portion of the book that I must have tried to block from my memory because I forgot about it when writing my original review. The portion about a teacher at Mayfield's school who was allowed to take advantage of the girls in his class. It was so disturbing and completely out of place with the rest of the book. I get that it's a memoir, but there didn't seem to be a point to the section at all. There was no encouragement from the author for anyone in a similar situation to report such behavior. Maybe the author didn't want to be preachy, but so many girls in her class were hurt because none of them reported his behavior. Even now, years later, her tone indicated that she didn't really care what happened to those other girls, or girls in future classes, just as long as she was able to escape it. The passage was wholly unsettling, and worse, there didn't seem to be a point. I'm almost tempted to drop the book down to 1 star just for this section.
July 13, 2018
I live in a small place. The local librarian (who I used to work with in another setting) put this book on hold on my library number. I am laughing softly. I read it in a day. The house is shambles around me, utter shambles. Kate Mayfield lived in a small town and she was the undertaker's daughter. How many memoirs out there are about living in a funeral home? I have not checked but I think none, I think none are out there.
I was reading the book and skipping the shower (I really do next to nothing when I'm inside a good book) and then suddenly it was time to go to the workshop on fermentation at the library. A FREE workshop on how to make your own kombucha. I'm in, I'm in. I thought these people are into fermentation, they won't care if I've showered. This is how I reason. I took this book with me and came home and read it until I finished it.
Why no five stars? The last forty pages felt rushed to me, very rushed, and a shift in tone, not just the rushing but a pull back from the previous intimate tone. It felt more like reporting. This author mentioned Dippety-Do. Have you ANY IDEA how long I've been waiting for some author to mention that? A long time!
Great cover art, eh? I am now going to look at other reviews (I've been good and avoided them) and I'll do what I usually do, read the five star, read the one star. Sometimes I read the one star first. I'll read them and think dang, why didn't I think to say it so eloquently?
Workshop highlights - do not drink fluid with your meals. Wake up and have a glass of room temperature water. Stop looking at tv/phones/books while you eat. Your gut is so important. There.
Okay, off I go.
Fishgirl
I was reading the book and skipping the shower (I really do next to nothing when I'm inside a good book) and then suddenly it was time to go to the workshop on fermentation at the library. A FREE workshop on how to make your own kombucha. I'm in, I'm in. I thought these people are into fermentation, they won't care if I've showered. This is how I reason. I took this book with me and came home and read it until I finished it.
Why no five stars? The last forty pages felt rushed to me, very rushed, and a shift in tone, not just the rushing but a pull back from the previous intimate tone. It felt more like reporting. This author mentioned Dippety-Do. Have you ANY IDEA how long I've been waiting for some author to mention that? A long time!
Great cover art, eh? I am now going to look at other reviews (I've been good and avoided them) and I'll do what I usually do, read the five star, read the one star. Sometimes I read the one star first. I'll read them and think dang, why didn't I think to say it so eloquently?
Workshop highlights - do not drink fluid with your meals. Wake up and have a glass of room temperature water. Stop looking at tv/phones/books while you eat. Your gut is so important. There.
Okay, off I go.
Fishgirl
June 23, 2016
My review is going to be the polar opposite to many of those already available to read. I don’t wonder if I missed the point as I don’t know there was much of a point to be made.
This book is strangely unsettling and not simply because Mayfield was raised in a funeral home. What unnerved me was the way she wrote about her family. Mayfield is very open when describing her relationship with her parents and her sisters and this is to be expected in a memoir, however, there came a point, a point I can’t put my finger on, when this moved into the realm of expose and tabloidism. The other part of this that made me uncomfortable was the writing style. In creating a memoir that reads as fiction, it raised the question of how much of this am I supposed to believe? If I wrote a book in this style my family would string me up. I can guarantee you, I would be disowned. Obviously, every family dynamic is different but the style doesn’t sit well with me.
Some reviewers have arguably felt the same as me when they write Mayfield’s work reminds them of Harper Lee ‘s To Kill A Mockingbird. They recognise the fictional overtones but ignore the dishonesty. To see how many other fictional books The Undertaker’s Daughter is likened to is a worry for me because it really does spark an element of mistrust.
Full Review - https://goo.gl/scFO3i
This book is strangely unsettling and not simply because Mayfield was raised in a funeral home. What unnerved me was the way she wrote about her family. Mayfield is very open when describing her relationship with her parents and her sisters and this is to be expected in a memoir, however, there came a point, a point I can’t put my finger on, when this moved into the realm of expose and tabloidism. The other part of this that made me uncomfortable was the writing style. In creating a memoir that reads as fiction, it raised the question of how much of this am I supposed to believe? If I wrote a book in this style my family would string me up. I can guarantee you, I would be disowned. Obviously, every family dynamic is different but the style doesn’t sit well with me.
Some reviewers have arguably felt the same as me when they write Mayfield’s work reminds them of Harper Lee ‘s To Kill A Mockingbird. They recognise the fictional overtones but ignore the dishonesty. To see how many other fictional books The Undertaker’s Daughter is likened to is a worry for me because it really does spark an element of mistrust.
Full Review - https://goo.gl/scFO3i
October 10, 2014
The Undertaker’s Daughter is an utterly absorbing and deeply moving book recounting Kate Mayfield’s childhood experiences in Jubilee, Kentucky where her father, Frank, opened a funeral parlour. This powerful and thought-provoking memoir follows the fortunes of the Mayfield family as they adapt to their new small-town life, amid local gossip, the challenges of segregation and the ever-present hostility of the ‘Old Clansmen’.
The ‘characters’ are deftly drawn, with keen observations and wry humour. Through her sensitive and beautifully written narrative, Kate reveals their fragility, secrets and ultimately, their mortality, as well as the fissures in her own family life. This is a compelling and enriching read, and I would highly recommend it.
The ‘characters’ are deftly drawn, with keen observations and wry humour. Through her sensitive and beautifully written narrative, Kate reveals their fragility, secrets and ultimately, their mortality, as well as the fissures in her own family life. This is a compelling and enriching read, and I would highly recommend it.
August 1, 2016
This book was recommended to me by my grandmother and by a good friend of hers. My grandmother's friend has worked in funeral homes all her life as the beautician. This book took place in my hometown of Kentucky-Owensboro, which the author changed to Jubilee. The author of course changed names of towns and buildings. I enjoyed the way the author told this story. Each chapter was told in a way that kept the reader interested in her life growing up in a funeral home. It follows her life from early childhood into college years. I will not spoil anything for the readers to come of this book, but I would definitely recommend this book.
January 24, 2015
Fascinating & Compelling! A Beautiful Read!
August 13, 2022
A life surrounded by death in a small southern American town.
Kate’s memoir really shone a light into an often taboo subject of death and the death industry. The rich character profiles and anecdotes really made this book worth the read as it was interesting to see so many big personas in such a small community. Ms Agnes’ love of red, charisma and strong friendship with Kate’s father, her father’s many apprentices and partners that helped to continue the business, and the many chaotic widows and widowers that stepped through the door of the funeral home.
Whilst the book managed to bring a light to the death industry, Kate’s life still speaks of the desegregation of America’s schools and the racism that still occurred in Jubilee, the alcoholism and cheating of her father, her sisters unpredictable mental health and being viewed as this ‘daughter of an undertaker’ and what these things all meant for her.
I especially found the epilogue worth the read, it cleared up a few open ends from the memoir but also was nice to see how the family found answers after their fathers death and how their stories have ended up now.
Definitely worth the read, an interesting life story from a woman with a great grasp of people and insight to death that many are unlikely to have experienced in the same way.
Kate’s memoir really shone a light into an often taboo subject of death and the death industry. The rich character profiles and anecdotes really made this book worth the read as it was interesting to see so many big personas in such a small community. Ms Agnes’ love of red, charisma and strong friendship with Kate’s father, her father’s many apprentices and partners that helped to continue the business, and the many chaotic widows and widowers that stepped through the door of the funeral home.
Whilst the book managed to bring a light to the death industry, Kate’s life still speaks of the desegregation of America’s schools and the racism that still occurred in Jubilee, the alcoholism and cheating of her father, her sisters unpredictable mental health and being viewed as this ‘daughter of an undertaker’ and what these things all meant for her.
I especially found the epilogue worth the read, it cleared up a few open ends from the memoir but also was nice to see how the family found answers after their fathers death and how their stories have ended up now.
Definitely worth the read, an interesting life story from a woman with a great grasp of people and insight to death that many are unlikely to have experienced in the same way.
January 21, 2023
I read this book because I lived in a funeral home with Bill and Mary Lou Hardy and their two children, 'little Bill' and Brenda during my last year of high school and first two years of college. This book brought back some amazing memories. I was their first non-family employee. I am so glad i read the book because of the memories but it is a memoir and is a heartfelt pouring out of memories and emotions that are spell binding, especially if you grew up in the 60's and 70's.
September 20, 2019
This one will stick with me. But I wanted more current information. I would like to discuss this book. A review would reveal too much.
July 25, 2015
The Undertaker's Daughter seems to be another one of those books that I just didn't quite get, as it seems that my opinion is greatly different from that of everybody else. At the time of writing my review, the book has a solid 4-star average, with nearly everybody making glowing comments on the lovely writing style, the depth of the characters, the riveting plot, and how difficult it was to put this book down. It's been awhile since I felt so differently from the majority of people. To put it simply, I really did not enjoy this one.
Kate Mayfield was raised by an undertaker and took part in the day-to-day activities of the funeral home. In her memoir, she reflects on coming of age in 1960's Kentucky, a time when it was still racially segregated and women were not valued. The book has been compared to The Help, which I loved -- but aside from the setting, I can't find any similarities.
Our narrator, who strangely never refers to herself by name within the book, is often offensive in her descriptions of her family, particularly her sister Evelyn. Evelyn is branded as the villain from the very beginning, while Mayfield's other siblings are practically saints. She drops hints throughout (and finally reveals at the end) that Evelyn is mentally ill, but there is no compassion or understanding directed at her. At one point, Mayfield states:
My first question is to why the author feels the need to watch her sister so often, particularly while she's sleeping. I know that I get a little cranky when people stare at me -- I think this is a common feeling, and I wonder why she's writing it as though it's strange. My second question relates to how she would feel if Evelyn had written a nasty memoir about her. Did she wonder how Evelyn would feel if she read this book? She's taken the story of her sister's untreated mental illness and written it as though Evelyn chose to behave this way. Has Evelyn now received proper treatment? Everybody's story is wrapped up at the end, but what became of Evelyn is still somewhat of a mystery.
The plot is often unfocused, as Mayfield begins telling one story only to get sidetracked by some minor happening. She leaves out many key details, often including her age, making the timeline extremely confusing. The way she writes herself as a young child is the same as she writes herself as a teenager and also a young adult. Her language and thoughts never evolve to give the reader a sense that she's getting older, unless you count her developing romantic feelings. The writing overall is clumsy, as evidenced in the following passages:
The thing that most frustrates me in a memoir is an average person believing they've lived an exceptional life. In the case of The Undertaker's Daughter, I felt like nothing particularly exceptional happened to our narrator. Or perhaps it did and she didn't communicate it well. Her father was an undertaker, yes, but she reveals that there were multiple undertakers in her town, as I'm sure was common in this time period. Her father was a close friend of Miss Agnes, the wealthiest woman in town, but this is hardly relevant to the story. The most that happens is her father inheriting a mansion and having some legal trouble with Miss Agnes' family. Mayfield reveals being deeply attracted to multiple African American boys in her class, going so far as to date them in a time of segregation. This was possibly the most interesting thing that happened in the book, and still it felt like it was just there so that Mayfield could feel good about herself for being ahead of the times.
It took me six days to read the first 150 or so pages, and I skimmed the remainder of the book. It didn't catch my attention whatsoever, and I felt that large chunks needed to be removed or heavily edited. Again, as I said at the beginning of my review, my feelings are the polar opposite of most of what I've seen about this book, so maybe I'm just missing something. You might really enjoy it, as many people have.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the free copy.
[find more reviews at the bibliophagist]
Kate Mayfield was raised by an undertaker and took part in the day-to-day activities of the funeral home. In her memoir, she reflects on coming of age in 1960's Kentucky, a time when it was still racially segregated and women were not valued. The book has been compared to The Help, which I loved -- but aside from the setting, I can't find any similarities.
Our narrator, who strangely never refers to herself by name within the book, is often offensive in her descriptions of her family, particularly her sister Evelyn. Evelyn is branded as the villain from the very beginning, while Mayfield's other siblings are practically saints. She drops hints throughout (and finally reveals at the end) that Evelyn is mentally ill, but there is no compassion or understanding directed at her. At one point, Mayfield states:
Many days the daunting task of waking Evelyn in the morning fell to me. Oh, what a joyous task it was. Even in her sleep my sister looked angry, unsettled. It was the only time I could comfortably watch her without her snapping, "What are you looking at?"
My first question is to why the author feels the need to watch her sister so often, particularly while she's sleeping. I know that I get a little cranky when people stare at me -- I think this is a common feeling, and I wonder why she's writing it as though it's strange. My second question relates to how she would feel if Evelyn had written a nasty memoir about her. Did she wonder how Evelyn would feel if she read this book? She's taken the story of her sister's untreated mental illness and written it as though Evelyn chose to behave this way. Has Evelyn now received proper treatment? Everybody's story is wrapped up at the end, but what became of Evelyn is still somewhat of a mystery.
The plot is often unfocused, as Mayfield begins telling one story only to get sidetracked by some minor happening. She leaves out many key details, often including her age, making the timeline extremely confusing. The way she writes herself as a young child is the same as she writes herself as a teenager and also a young adult. Her language and thoughts never evolve to give the reader a sense that she's getting older, unless you count her developing romantic feelings. The writing overall is clumsy, as evidenced in the following passages:
Grabbing hold of a tuft of hair, she furiously teased it with her special teasing comb that if I touched I died.
The new magnet to his groin worked in one of the church's offices.
The thing that most frustrates me in a memoir is an average person believing they've lived an exceptional life. In the case of The Undertaker's Daughter, I felt like nothing particularly exceptional happened to our narrator. Or perhaps it did and she didn't communicate it well. Her father was an undertaker, yes, but she reveals that there were multiple undertakers in her town, as I'm sure was common in this time period. Her father was a close friend of Miss Agnes, the wealthiest woman in town, but this is hardly relevant to the story. The most that happens is her father inheriting a mansion and having some legal trouble with Miss Agnes' family. Mayfield reveals being deeply attracted to multiple African American boys in her class, going so far as to date them in a time of segregation. This was possibly the most interesting thing that happened in the book, and still it felt like it was just there so that Mayfield could feel good about herself for being ahead of the times.
It took me six days to read the first 150 or so pages, and I skimmed the remainder of the book. It didn't catch my attention whatsoever, and I felt that large chunks needed to be removed or heavily edited. Again, as I said at the beginning of my review, my feelings are the polar opposite of most of what I've seen about this book, so maybe I'm just missing something. You might really enjoy it, as many people have.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the free copy.
[find more reviews at the bibliophagist]
January 4, 2015
Full review at http://thebookshelfgargoyle.wordpress... (Jan 8)
I received a digital copy of this title from the publisher via Netgalley.
Ten Second Synopsis:
Kate grows up among the corpses of her town's residents during a turbulent time of social change.
This was a bit of a hot-and-cold read for me. There were some bits during which I felt really interested and engaged, and there were some bits that I could take or leave. On reflection, this is quite a broad memoir that not only takes in the specifics of living in a funeral home, but also encompasses the author’s learnings from watching her father’s interactions with various people in their town. There are big chunks of the book dedicated to Kate and her father’s relationship with a reclusive, wealthy lady resident of the town and the resulting friction that occurs between her family and the townsfolk after the lady’s eventual death. There’s quite a bit about the volatile social climate around race in the post-segregation era as told through Kate’s experiences with friendship and dating as a young teen. There’s an awful lot about Kate’s family struggles as she learns more about her father’s less-than-stellar behaviour and deals with her elder sister’s untreated mental illness.
So if you have an interest in that time period and its impact on the relationships between different groups in a small town, there will be a lot of extra bang for your buck if you pick up this book. For me though, while some of those bits were reasonably interesting, I really just wanted to find out more about living in a funeral home. By the time Kate gets to be a young teen, the funeral home bit of the memoir is pretty much wrapped up and the rest of the book focuses on Kate’s emerging social awareness, before relating her family’s experiences in dealing with her father’s death.
Overall, I suspect this wasn’t really ever going to be the book for me. It’s in no way a bad book – it’s very readable, and as I said, got plenty to draw in the person with an interest in memoirs that focus on social history – it just wasn’t quite what I was expecting.
I received a digital copy of this title from the publisher via Netgalley.
Ten Second Synopsis:
Kate grows up among the corpses of her town's residents during a turbulent time of social change.
This was a bit of a hot-and-cold read for me. There were some bits during which I felt really interested and engaged, and there were some bits that I could take or leave. On reflection, this is quite a broad memoir that not only takes in the specifics of living in a funeral home, but also encompasses the author’s learnings from watching her father’s interactions with various people in their town. There are big chunks of the book dedicated to Kate and her father’s relationship with a reclusive, wealthy lady resident of the town and the resulting friction that occurs between her family and the townsfolk after the lady’s eventual death. There’s quite a bit about the volatile social climate around race in the post-segregation era as told through Kate’s experiences with friendship and dating as a young teen. There’s an awful lot about Kate’s family struggles as she learns more about her father’s less-than-stellar behaviour and deals with her elder sister’s untreated mental illness.
So if you have an interest in that time period and its impact on the relationships between different groups in a small town, there will be a lot of extra bang for your buck if you pick up this book. For me though, while some of those bits were reasonably interesting, I really just wanted to find out more about living in a funeral home. By the time Kate gets to be a young teen, the funeral home bit of the memoir is pretty much wrapped up and the rest of the book focuses on Kate’s emerging social awareness, before relating her family’s experiences in dealing with her father’s death.
Overall, I suspect this wasn’t really ever going to be the book for me. It’s in no way a bad book – it’s very readable, and as I said, got plenty to draw in the person with an interest in memoirs that focus on social history – it just wasn’t quite what I was expecting.
October 6, 2014
“The Undertaker’s Daughter” by Kate Mayfield, published by Gallery Books.
Category – Memoir Publication Date – January 131, 2015
I went to school with a girl whose father was an undertaker and she lived above the funeral parlor. I often wondered how she could live there sleeping above dead people, for me it had to be creepy and scary.
Kate Mayfield’s father was an undertaker and her family lived above the funeral home. Kate not only lived above the funeral home but she took an active part in its operation, well lets say that she had an inquisitive mind. She often questioned her father on what he was doing, although she refused to observe an embalming procedure. They lived in the small town of Jubilee, Kentucky which was very segregated and where everyone knew everyone’s business. Kate tells of several people her father embalmed and their lives. The most telling is the story of Ms. Agnes, a woman who was a little on the eccentric side but became a good friend of her father. In fact, when she died she bequeathed her historic home and all of its contents to him. Kate was a little on the wild side, often challenging the social acceptance of the time, including segregation. She went against her parent’s desire for her Major in college and could not wait until she could leave the town of Jubilee. She accomplishes this only after her father’s death at an early age. She also discovers several things concerning her father, that although he was a loving father and provider for his family he was also a lady’s man and an alcoholic.
The final chapter brings her back to Jubilee where she discovers that her life above the funeral home was in fact preparing her for her future life.
A very interesting and different memoir that is not only entertaining but a look at society in a small close knit community.
Category – Memoir Publication Date – January 131, 2015
I went to school with a girl whose father was an undertaker and she lived above the funeral parlor. I often wondered how she could live there sleeping above dead people, for me it had to be creepy and scary.
Kate Mayfield’s father was an undertaker and her family lived above the funeral home. Kate not only lived above the funeral home but she took an active part in its operation, well lets say that she had an inquisitive mind. She often questioned her father on what he was doing, although she refused to observe an embalming procedure. They lived in the small town of Jubilee, Kentucky which was very segregated and where everyone knew everyone’s business. Kate tells of several people her father embalmed and their lives. The most telling is the story of Ms. Agnes, a woman who was a little on the eccentric side but became a good friend of her father. In fact, when she died she bequeathed her historic home and all of its contents to him. Kate was a little on the wild side, often challenging the social acceptance of the time, including segregation. She went against her parent’s desire for her Major in college and could not wait until she could leave the town of Jubilee. She accomplishes this only after her father’s death at an early age. She also discovers several things concerning her father, that although he was a loving father and provider for his family he was also a lady’s man and an alcoholic.
The final chapter brings her back to Jubilee where she discovers that her life above the funeral home was in fact preparing her for her future life.
A very interesting and different memoir that is not only entertaining but a look at society in a small close knit community.
June 16, 2016
This definitely falls into the category of one of my favorite types of books. I adore memoirs written by people who aren't celebrities or notorious figures. Kate Mayfield is simply a little girl with an older brother and a sister, a mother, and a father -- who just happens to be the undertaker in a small town in Kentucky. She grew up in a funeral home, a place where the dead were made presentable and resided until they were interred, a place where she and her siblings were expected to stay as silent as possible when a body was in residence, a place where their housekeeper Belle kept an eye on Kate and where Kate spied on the funerals from her secret place on the stairs. Her father wasn't a man to shrink from her constant questions, and so Kate was much more familiar with the dead and our death rituals than many adults.
I especially enjoyed the vignettes of a few memorable people she includes between chapters, though some are definitely tragic, especially in the light of the recent mass shooting in Orlando. Each character was so very vivid; it's like Mayfield threw open the doors of the funeral home and invited us all in to act as flies on the wall. However, I was a little surprised by her harsh criticism of her elder sister Evelyn, especially once she reveals that her erratic and violent behavior was as a result of mental illness. But then I cannot judge, never having been in such a situation. It was just surprising to read about.
This is definitely a charming and fascinating book, not only of a small town in 1960s/70s Kentucky, but also as a behind-the-scenes look at death and the ways in which we deal with something that comes to us all.
I especially enjoyed the vignettes of a few memorable people she includes between chapters, though some are definitely tragic, especially in the light of the recent mass shooting in Orlando. Each character was so very vivid; it's like Mayfield threw open the doors of the funeral home and invited us all in to act as flies on the wall. However, I was a little surprised by her harsh criticism of her elder sister Evelyn, especially once she reveals that her erratic and violent behavior was as a result of mental illness. But then I cannot judge, never having been in such a situation. It was just surprising to read about.
This is definitely a charming and fascinating book, not only of a small town in 1960s/70s Kentucky, but also as a behind-the-scenes look at death and the ways in which we deal with something that comes to us all.
March 17, 2015
This is a lot more interesting than your standard memoir. This book reads easily and at times more like a novel than an account of a person's own life experiences.
I liked the honest way the author approached this. I could imagine myself as a child, being told to be quiet all the time and trying to obey the rules--finding it nearly impossible and could sympathise with the author. Growing up in a home where the family business is also conducted is hard on a child. As this book progressed, I felt as though the author was someone I knew well and her story touched my heart.
This is the kind of memoir that stays with you, as you see or do something days after finishing it and think about some part of the book--some experience the author described and it makes you smile to realise you have made a connection with someone you have never met because of their writing.
Even if you aren't a fan of the memoir in itself, you should give this one a try. I really enjoyed it.
This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher and provided through Netgalley. All opinions are my own.
I liked the honest way the author approached this. I could imagine myself as a child, being told to be quiet all the time and trying to obey the rules--finding it nearly impossible and could sympathise with the author. Growing up in a home where the family business is also conducted is hard on a child. As this book progressed, I felt as though the author was someone I knew well and her story touched my heart.
This is the kind of memoir that stays with you, as you see or do something days after finishing it and think about some part of the book--some experience the author described and it makes you smile to realise you have made a connection with someone you have never met because of their writing.
Even if you aren't a fan of the memoir in itself, you should give this one a try. I really enjoyed it.
This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher and provided through Netgalley. All opinions are my own.
January 6, 2015
I really wanted to like this book. Really. The mother of one of my best friends growing up was a funeral home beautician. I used to spend any chance I could sitting in the funeral home watching her do hair and make up on the dead. The whole funeral process has always fascinated me so I thought I would really enjoy this book. Unfortunately it just left a bad taste in my mouth. I was really taken back by the story about the older man she let come into her home and take a shower with a younger girl after he got her drunk and how people knew about this guy and she was just happy he was paying some other girl attention instead of her. It was just a really strange way to tell that story. I also was taken back by her telling of her attraction to several black guys in her class. It sounded more like she was only attracted to them because they were black and that was taboo at the time than she actually liked them for them. I just really didn't like this book.
Received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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