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Mary Pipher

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Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls Paperback – Bargain Price, August 1, 2005

by Mary Pipher (Author), Ruth Ross (Designer)

4.5 606 ratings

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Everybody who has survived adolescence knows what a scary, tumultuous, exciting time it is. But if we use memories of our experiences to guide our understanding of what today's girls are living through, we make a serious mistake. Our daughters are living in a new world. Reviving Ophelia is a call to arms from Dr. Mary Pipher, a psychologist who has worked with teenagers for more than a decade. She finds that in spite of the women's movement, which has empowered adult women in some ways, teenage girls today are having a harder time than ever before because of higher levels of violence and sexism. The current crises of adolescence - frequent suicide attempts, dropping out of school and running away from home, teenage pregnancies in unprecedented numbers, and an epidemic of eating disorders - are caused not so much by "dysfunctional families" or incorrect messages from parents as by our media-saturated, lookist, girl-destroying culture. Young teenagers are not developmentally equipped to meet the challenges that confront them.

Adolescence in America has traditionally involved breaking away from parents, experimenting with the trappings of adult life, and searching for autonomy and independence. Today's teenagers face serious pressures at an earlier age than that at which teenagers in the past did. The innocent act of attending an unsupervised party can lead to acquaintance rape. Having a boyfriend means dealing with sexual pressures, and often leads to pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases. It's no wonder that girls' math scores plummet and depression levels rise when they reach junior high. As they encounter situations that are simply too complex for them to handle, their self-esteem crumbles. The dangers young women face today can jeopardize their futures. It is critical that we understand the circumstances and take measures to correct them. We need to make that precious age of experimentation safe for adolescent girls.

Watch the trailer for the Lifetime movie Reviving Ophelia, to premiere on October 11 at 9pm ET/PT.

Print length

304 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Riverhead Trade
Publication date

August 1, 2005
Reading age

18 years and up
Dimensions

5.58 x 0.81 x 8.22 inches
ISBN-10

9781594481888
ISBN-13

978-1594481888
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“An important book…Pipher shines high-beam headlights on the world of teenage girls.”
—Los Angeles Times

“A must-read for all of us who care about young women in our lives…Reviving Ophelia arms us with information we can use in helping our daughters grow to adulthood with their strength intact.”
—Lincoln Star Journal

“Pipher is an eloquent advocate…[she] offers concrete suggestions for ways by which girls can build and maintain a strong sense of self.”
—Publishers Weekly

“Serious and thoughtful material presented with the fluidity of good fiction.”
—Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Mary Pipher, Ph.D., is the author of the number-one New York Times-bestselling Reviving Ophelia, as well as The Shelter of Each Other, Another Country, The Middle of Everywhere, and Letters to a Young Therapist. She was a Rockefeller Scholar, and received the American Psychological Association's Presidential Citation. Currently, she is a visiting professor in both the English and Psychology departments at the University of Nebraska.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

EXCERPT

Reviving Ophelia is my attempt to understand my experiences in therapy with adolescent girls. Many girls come into therapy with serious, even life-threatening problems, such as anorexia or the desire to physically hurt or kill themselves. Others have problems less dangerous but still more puzzling, such as school refusal, underachievement, moodiness, or constant discord with their parents. Many are victims of sexual violence.

As I talked to these girls, I became aware of how little I really understood the world of adolescent girls today. It didn't work to use my own adolescent experience from the early 1960s to make generalizations. Girls were living in a whole new world....

Even in our small city with its mostly middle-class population, girls often experienced trauma. How could we help girls heal from that trauma? And what could we do to prevent it?

This last year I have struggled to make sense of this. Why are girls having more trouble now than my friends and I had when we were adolescents? Many of us hated our adolescent years, yet for the most part we weren't suicidal and we didn't develop eating disorders, cut ourselves, or run away from home....

But girls today are much more oppressed. They are coming of age in a more dangerous, sexualized, and media-saturated culture. They face incredible pressures to be beautiful and sophisticated, which in junior high means using chemicals and being sexual. As they navigate a more dangerous world, girls are less protected.

As I looked at the culture that girls enter as they come of age, I was struck by what a girl-poisoning culture it was. The more I looked around, the more I listened to today'smusic, watched television and movies and looked at sexist advertising, the more convinced I became that we are on the wrong path with our daughters. America today limits girls' development, truncates their wholeness, and leaves many of them traumatized....

What can we do to help them? We can strengthen girls so that they will be ready. We can encourage emotional toughness and self-protection. We can support and guide them. But most important, we can change our culture. We can work together to build a culture that is less complicated and more nurturing, less violent and sexualized and more growth-producing. Our daughters deserve a society in which all their gifts can be developed and appreciated. I hope this book fosters a debate on how we can build that society for them.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 1594481881
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Riverhead Trade; 1st edition (August 1, 2005)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781594481888
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1594481888
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.6 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.58 x 0.81 x 8.22 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #471,094 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #199 in Popular Adolescent Psychology
- #582 in Parenting Girls
- #666 in Parenting Teenagers (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.5 606 ratings

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Mary Pipher

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Mary Pipher, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and author of The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding our Families and Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of our Elders. Awarded the American Psychological Association's Presidential Citation, Pipher speaks across the country to families, mental health professionals, and educators, and has appeared on Today, 20/20, The Charlie Rose Show, PBS Newshour with Jim Lehrer, and National Public Radio's Fresh Air.

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4.5 out of 5

606 global ratings

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Keith Smith

I only wish I'd read this when it came out

Reviewed in the United States on August 28, 2001

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I don't read self-help books or psychology texts. I'm a mathematician by education and training, and I'm as left-brained as they come. I'm married to a psychologist who specializes in adolescents, substance abuse, and eating disorders; if I want to know something, I ask her. A few weeks ago, she brought this book home for she (and hopefully me) to read. A friend and co-worker had strongly recommended it to her, and so it sat on our kitchen counter. I read a great deal, both in volume and in topics, so on a whim {translated: I had nothing else in my reading queue at the time), I picked it up and started reading it. I could not put it down. We have a 13-year old daughter, and have as much trouble as the next set of parents in trying to communicate with her and understand her. I find it particularly difficult at times as I grew up in a household with only boys. While there was certainly our fare share of sibling rivalry and other issues to help build my understanding in working with others, there was none of the stereotypical issues or dealings that you hear about with adolescent girls. My sole experience with adolescent girls was as an adolescent boy (and you know how sensitive your typical adolescent boy is). I like to think I'm a decent parent, but there's a lot I don't know about being an adolescent (boy or girl), and my daughter's not in a position in her life to tell me. This book communicates great deal of that and more that I needed and still need to hear. To be sure, there are things that are missing. If you're looking for an instruction set on how to communicate with or raise your adolescent daughter, you've got the wrong book. And at first, I believed this to be a serious failing. Pipher's book walks through a series of topics that can greatly influence a young girl, using vignettes of particular children and their stories to develop understanding and insight. And these are powerful vehicles for communication; presenting stories of strength and power in the face of unbelievable adversity. However, while they clearly mark the path for parents to avoid, they don't provide instruction on what TO do. And I believe that's how it should be. Parenting is a unique experience; one in which you can do everything right and still fail; one in which you can do many things wrong and still succeed. The purpose of this book is not to provide direction, but to provide understanding. And in that it is extremely successful.

17 people found this helpful

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Dan O'

The Mom Bible: Reviving Opelia by Mary Pipher

Reviewed in the United States on August 19, 2016

Verified Purchase

This is the second time I am purchasing this book for myself. The first time I purchased Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher, it was because my own daughter was going through a very rough time and I wanted to understand her better and find out if there was something that I could do. I received a great deal of insight and guidance from this book, which goes to great lengths to show the difficulties faced by girls in our society. Between unrealistic magazine ads and unreachable goals and the self-esteem issues of young girls, the author has managed to touch on the sensitive and emotional time this can be for adolescent girls. The reason I am purchasing this book a second time is because I loaned my first copy to a mom who needed it more than I did, and she kept it and relied on it and I'm happy for that. Now, I need this as a text book for a college class and it is required reading. Of course, I love the book and will enjoy revisiting the content. FYI: My two girls have grown up to be women that I am proud of every day. I think this book had something to do with that. Thanks for reading my review. Hope it helps you make a decision on your purchase.

94 people found this helpful

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Piper geo mom

A well written account of the trials and tribulations of female adolescence.

Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2013

Verified Purchase

As indicated in the title of this review, this book provides an account of female adolescence as seen by this obviously talented therapist. As a mother of two girls who are approaching adolescence, I found this book particularly helpful. It provides excellent anecdotes and case studies of actual girls and their experiences. The only reason this book did receive not five stars from me is due to its specificity to the 1990s. The quotes from famous people of the 1990s became a bit tedious, even though I can understand why the author did this.

Interestingly, this book really does withstand the test of time, in that all the nonsense our adolescent girls had to navigate in the1990s is still pervasive today. I especially appreciated the advice to parents in the last chapter. A must read for parents of adolescent girls. This book can help a diligent parent navigate the tumult of female adolescence. I particularly liked the addressing of lookism. Thank you, Dr. Prophet, for writing this.

One person found this helpful

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Kat

If you have daughters, you must read this!!!!

Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2014

Verified Purchase

I don't care who you are, if you have a daughter, you need to read this. Then you need to re-read it.
Any female can tell you that she would never go back to adolescence. It was awful! Imagine how much harder it has gotten.
Our daughters are bombarded by messages that tell them that their entire purpose in life is to be a skinny, attractive, sex object.
Mary Pipher will open your eyes to the subliminal messages all around us, the ones that are damaging our daughters. Then she gives us ideas on how to combat these ideas, how to make our daughters realize where these thoughts of worthlessness are coming from, then how to overcome them through real purpose.
This really is I e if my favorite books. In high school, my English teacher suggested I read it. I didn't back then. Once I had my own daughters, I bough it for my kindle and have read it several times.
Whether we want to admit it or not, our society is hard on women. Look at magazine covers. Women can't have wrinkles, grey hair or cellulite. Men on magazines can have all of these things, because we look at their character. Women's magazines tell us we first and foremost must look good to have any value, then they tell us how to work full time, have a gorgeous house, balance career and family, lose the baby weight like celebrities and be flawless in general. Expectations we will never look up to. Men's magazines have articles on improving sex, meeting women, sports are awesome, bosses suck and more about improving sex.
While we can not fix our broken and biased society, we can arm our daughters with the knowledge that this is out there and then teach them that these messages are wrong.

11 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

c.e.s.

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 10, 2015

Verified Purchase

Essential reading for parents and educators of teenage girls (or younger to prepare!)

One person found this helpful

Krystel

Very insightful

Reviewed in Canada on July 16, 2010

Verified Purchase

This book was a very good read - easy to understand and very interesting. I am a counselling psychology student interested in working with young females. This book offered so many examples on the struggles facing young women as well as the ways in which they can be resilient if the circumstances are right. Although this book was a little outdated, most of Pipher's insights and comparisons were quite accurate and helpful. To be honest, this book was often hard to read in the sense that it makes you wonder why you'd ever want to bring children into such a broken world full of evil and hate. This book broke my heart at points, and it also blessed me to read the stories of those girls who overcame the horrible things that happened to them. I don't imagine that this would be a very enjoyable read for parents, but as a counselling professional, I believe it is quite useful.

2 people found this helpful

vanessa campbell

I found this book to be dated; it's been ...

Reviewed in Australia on November 10, 2014

Verified Purchase

I found this book to be dated; it's been over 20 years since it was published. While some of the information is still pertinent and relevant, the use of mobile phones and the internet has left much of the advice obsolete and irrelevant and not practical.

One person found this helpful

Amazon Customer

Five Stars

Reviewed in Canada on February 24, 2016

Verified Purchase

Good book.Re reading!

Amazon Customer

I love this book

Reviewed in Canada on April 1, 2017

Verified Purchase

I love this book. Great way to help young women and their parents to understand the changes and challenges growing up can be.

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