A place to satirize, crosspost from, poke fun at, and hold meta discussions on the never-ending ridiculous stories and creative writing exercises from AITA and AITA-adjacent subs, including classic tales of your local reddit heroes seeking validation. Memes allowed, shitposts only on weekends. Taking the posts seriously is heavily discouraged.
I (32 M) have been with my soon to be ex wife (32 F) for 5 years (married for 2). We also have a 1 year old daughter.
Up until this past weekend, we've had a great relationship. As-in, I didn't have any major complaints. Small things here and there, but any conflict we've had, we've always been able to have a calm discussion and work out our issues.
I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market, nor do I have a specific number in mind for a dealbreaker. That being said, in the early stages of dating, she brought up the topic of body count. I'm not saying that I wouldn't eventually have asked, but I never pressed her for that info.
She willingly told me her body count was 12. Much lower than I expected. She's an attractive woman with a high sex drive, but a high sex drive doesn't mean sleeping around. I didn't question or emphasis it. I take most people at their word, and let time shed light on lies. Looking back, that was a mistake.
Anyway, my STBXW best friend, lets call her Lauren is a former colleague of mine. Lauren was the one who introduced me to my wife. At the time, we were all in the Healthcare field, and all 3 of us were Nurse Practitioners. Currently, only STBXW has the same job title.
Lauren hit a major milestone, recently, and landed her dream job. Or more accurately put, Lauren saved up enough money to realistically go into buisness for herself in a field completely unrelated to Healthcare. Friday, we all went out for drinks to celebrate and support Lauren (amongst a handful of other people).
This part is very important, my STBXW and I do not drink. We're not sober but we both had a crazy drinking phase in college, and we're over alcohol. We're both are also educated health nuts. We eat clean, workout regularly, and it's hard for us to not see what alcohol really is, which is poison.
Friday would be the first time either of us even remotely got tipsy together, let alone drunk. It's not that we won't drink, it's just isn't appealing. We'll drink on special occasions, and that's not a gurantee. For the duration of the relationship ,the handful of times we have had alcoholic drinks, it was separately and far and few in-between. It was planned that way, but we primarily have different friend groups.
This celebration, we said screw it and let the drinks flow. It's abundantly obvious that our alcohol tolerance no longer exist. We're getting toasted, Lauren is getting toasted, and so is everyone else in the group. But it's a good time. We're not hurting anyway, and we're having fun.
Lauren and STBXW get to talking about their crazy times in college. I failed to mention they met in college. I didn't hear every single detail, as the conversation was between them but I heard enough to know hookups were consistent, and not outliers. She had multiple group play experinces, and what made me really want to throw up is that my wife engaged in pay for play. If we're not sugar coating, then prostitution.
Listening to their stories, dots didn't need to be "connected" to come to the conclusion her number was way over 12.
Obviously, I'm in a bad mood (still am), but I continue to save face because I don't want to ruin Lauren celebration. The train of thought at the time was I like Lauren, her friends, and her BF. I would feel incredibly guilty for ruining their night. As I right this... I'm not sure how I feel about Lauren. It's not her job to tell me these things about my wife, but she did introduce us, and she knew my false interpretation of my wife. They are best friends, so her loyalty would be with my STBXW, opposed to me, but now that I think of it... I don't think I continue being friends with her.
I digress. As the night ended, and we're all going our separate ways, I used that opportunity to question my wife. Not in a pressing manner, but as a "happy" drunk inquiring.
My wife is out of it, mentally, and loose lipped. She was the majority of the night. I bring up the stories, but at a surface level. After keeping the conversation light and fun, I ask her about her body count as casually as possible considering the context. I didn't have to yank it out of her, and to keep it short, she didn't give or know the exact number, but she admitted the number was more than 100.
When the uber arrived, she passed out on the way home. I made sure she got home through the door, settled, and booked an uber to my brother house which is only 30 minutes from us.
My brother was babysitting our daughter for the night. He has a one of those doors that doesn't require a physical key, but a numeric pass code to unlock the door.
Prior to showing up, I texted him letting him know I'm passing out on his couch. I'm welcomed almost anytime, but the heads up text was a safety precaution. It was late, and we love our guns here in Texas.
In the morning, fighting a massive hangover, I caught my brother up to speed. He had two things to say.
The first is that she strategically lied, and manipulated me to alter my perception of her in-order to gain an outcome in her favor. This was a conclusion that I came to on my own, just not as well layed out as he presented it.
The second thing he said, I only partially thought of. He brought it to my attention that if she's that calculated and manipulative, what else is she lying about? Again I came up with that thought as well. This is why I no longer consider her trustworthy, but what he said next didn't cross my mind. He told me, that being said, he highly encourages me to get a DNA test for my daughter, since my wife is willing to lie about fundamental concepts, and her word can't be taken at face value.
In that moment, I felt sick. Well sicker. With that thought, and the amount of alcohol I had the night before, I literally threw up all over his floor.
To speed this story up, I took my daughter home, and confronted my wife. She confessed to lying about her body count, apologized profusely, and layed out the water works. I expressed anger, and hurt, but I haven't mentioned divorce or a parternity test.
Divorce will inevitable happen. I'm planning to begin searching for a lawyer this upcoming Monday, and to schedule a meeting asap. I'll also get a paternity for my daughter to verify if she's indeed mine asap. I haven't relayed any of this to my STBXW.
The way I see it, the smartest move is to contact a lawyer first, find out the results of the paternity test, and follow what my lawyer says as we wait for and receive the results of the test.
I have no idea how long either of this will take. I'm no law expert. I've never been divorced, nor do I have anyone close to that has been divorced. I'm going to stay in my lane, and be patient for my lawyer advice, and to get the paternity results as that will play a huge role on future involvement for when the divorce is initiated, and finalized.
I talked to my mother, today, about this and she's adamantly against my plan. She won't interfere, but she is biased. My daughter is her only grandchild. Postive or negative results, my mom will see her as her grandchild, but she knows that I don't share that same viewpoint. She didn't directly call me an asshole, but she did everything but that.
So I'm asking reddit, am I the asshole for planning to divorce my wife when I found I she lied about her body count and slept with over 100 men?
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
**AITAH for initiating divorce when I found out my wife lied about her body count, and learned it's over 100? **
I (32 M) have been with my soon to be ex wife (32 F) for 5 years (married for 2). We also have a 1 year old daughter.
Up until this past weekend, we've had a great relationship. As-in, I didn't have any major complaints. Small things here and there, but any conflict we've had, we've always been able to have a calm discussion and work out our issues.
I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market, nor do I have a specific number in mind for a dealbreaker. That being said, in the early stages of dating, she brought up the topic of body count. I'm not saying that I wouldn't eventually have asked, but I never pressed her for that info.
She willingly told me her body count was 12. Much lower than I expected. She's an attractive woman with a high sex drive, but a high sex drive doesn't mean sleeping around. I didn't question or emphasis it. I take most people at their word, and let time shed light on lies. Looking back, that was a mistake.
Anyway, my STBXW best friend, lets call her Lauren is a former colleague of mine. Lauren was the one who introduced me to my wife. At the time, we were all in the Healthcare field, and all 3 of us were Nurse Practitioners. Currently, only STBXW has the same job title.
Lauren hit a major milestone, recently, and landed her dream job. Or more accurately put, Lauren saved up enough money to realistically go into buisness for herself in a field completely unrelated to Healthcare. Friday, we all went out for drinks to celebrate and support Lauren (amongst a handful of other people).
This part is very important, my STBXW and I do not drink. We're not sober but we both had a crazy drinking phase in college, and we're over alcohol. We're both are also educated health nuts. We eat clean, workout regularly, and it's hard for us to not see what alcohol really is, which is poison.
Friday would be the first time either of us even remotely got tipsy together, let alone drunk. It's not that we won't drink, it's just isn't appealing. We'll drink on special occasions, and that's not a gurantee. For the duration of the relationship ,the handful of times we have had alcoholic drinks, it was separately and far and few in-between. It was planned that way, but we primarily have different friend groups.
This celebration, we said screw it and let the drinks flow. It's abundantly obvious that our alcohol tolerance no longer exist. We're getting toasted, Lauren is getting toasted, and so is everyone else in the group. But it's a good time. We're not hurting anyway, and we're having fun.
Lauren and STBXW get to talking about their crazy times in college. I failed to mention they met in college. I didn't hear every single detail, as the conversation was between them but I heard enough to know hookups were consistent, and not outliers. She had multiple group play experinces, and what made me really want to throw up is that my wife engaged in pay for play. If we're not sugar coating, then prostitution.
Listening to their stories, dots didn't need to be "connected" to come to the conclusion her number was way over 12.
Obviously, I'm in a bad mood (still am), but I continue to save face because I don't want to ruin Lauren celebration. The train of thought at the time was I like Lauren, her friends, and her BF. I would feel incredibly guilty for ruining their night. As I right this... I'm not sure how I feel about Lauren. It's not her job to tell me these things about my wife, but she did introduce us, and she knew my false interpretation of my wife. They are best friends, so her loyalty would be with my STBXW, opposed to me, but now that I think of it... I don't think I continue being friends with her.
I digress. As the night ended, and we're all going our separate ways, I used that opportunity to question my wife. Not in a pressing manner, but as a "happy" drunk inquiring.
My wife is out of it, mentally, and loose lipped. She was the majority of the night. I bring up the stories, but at a surface level. After keeping the conversation light and fun, I ask her about her body count as casually as possible considering the context. I didn't have to yank it out of her, and to keep it short, she didn't give or know the exact number, but she admitted the number was more than 100.
When the uber arrived, she passed out on the way home. I made sure she got home through the door, settled, and booked an uber to my brother house which is only 30 minutes from us.
My brother was babysitting our daughter for the night. He has a one of those doors that doesn't require a physical key, but a numeric pass code to unlock the door.
Prior to showing up, I texted him letting him know I'm passing out on his couch. I'm welcomed almost anytime, but the heads up text was a safety precaution. It was late, and we love our guns here in Texas.
In the morning, fighting a massive hangover, I caught my brother up to speed. He had two things to say.
The first is that she strategically lied, and manipulated me to alter my perception of her in-order to gain an outcome in her favor. This was a conclusion that I came to on my own, just not as well layed out as he presented it.
The second thing he said, I only partially thought of. He brought it to my attention that if she's that calculated and manipulative, what else is she lying about? Again I came up with that thought as well. This is why I no longer consider her trustworthy, but what he said next didn't cross my mind. He told me, that being said, he highly encourages me to get a DNA test for my daughter, since my wife is willing to lie about fundamental concepts, and her word can't be taken at face value.
In that moment, I felt sick. Well sicker. With that thought, and the amount of alcohol I had the night before, I literally threw up all over his floor.
To speed this story up, I took my daughter home, and confronted my wife. She confessed to lying about her body count, apologized profusely, and layed out the water works. I expressed anger, and hurt, but I haven't mentioned divorce or a parternity test.
Divorce will inevitable happen. I'm planning to begin searching for a lawyer this upcoming Monday, and to schedule a meeting asap. I'll also get a paternity for my daughter to verify if she's indeed mine asap. I haven't relayed any of this to my STBXW.
The way I see it, the smartest move is to contact a lawyer first, find out the results of the paternity test, and follow what my lawyer says as we wait for and receive the results of the test.
I have no idea how long either of this will take. I'm no law expert. I've never been divorced, nor do I have anyone close to that has been divorced. I'm going to stay in my lane, and be patient for my lawyer advice, and to get the paternity results as that will play a huge role on future involvement for when the divorce is initiated, and finalized.
I talked to my mother, today, about this and she's adamantly against my plan. She won't interfere, but she is biased. My daughter is her only grandchild. Postive or negative results, my mom will see her as her grandchild, but she knows that I don't share that same viewpoint. She didn't directly call me an asshole, but she did everything but that.
So I'm asking reddit, am I the asshole for planning to divorce my wife when I found I she lied about her body count and slept with over 100 men?
Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XuREu9XaGS
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Whenever someone on AITA says "This part is important" you can be very sure it is not.
It's sooo long and drawn out. How many paragraphs just to say his wife got drunk and confessed she was a SW?
In the update, he was like some people didn't consider my story detailed enough, and I would just like to meet those people because this was a completely unnecessarily detailed and long story
But how could we possibly understand why a couple of parents in their mid-30s got drunk if we didn't have three paragraphs explaining their exact drinking habits and philosophy about alcohol????
And the fact that his brother's house has a keycode entry was also 100% critical to understanding how he slept on his brother's couch. It's not like we would have just assumed he had a key and/or his brother let him in if he'd left it out.
Seriously, I've seen some overly detailed posts on AITA before, but this one is particularly bad. The drinking stuff in particular 100% made me think it was written by a teenager who doesn't understand adult drinking habits, lmao.
One of OOP’s posts is asking “People who were bullied in high school, how did you survive those 4 years?” so I think you’re absolutely right about him being a teenager.
It was so natural how he talked about eating clean and alcohol being poison and then kept talking about it. And ditto on the key code door for his brother's house.
Why use one sentence when 10 will do?
Fr, my editing brain kicked in so hard while I was reading this post. If you're going to write a fake story at least write it well, for fuck's sake
They really go out of their way to avoid any criticism or blame.
If he just said “We were celebrating and had some drinks,” the commenters might focus on he and his wife being alcoholics, because all the chronically online teenagers over there assume anyone who has a drink must also have a crippling dependency.
If he just said, “I stayed at my brother’s,” the commenters might focus on his boundary stomping behavior because he was clearly trespassing, breaking, and entering. It’s crucial that we know this upstanding and clean eating individual respects others and only acts when given permission.
I feel like a lot of information about Lauren could have been cut too.
Why did we need to know what they are celebrating? Why do we need to know their jobs or how they met? Why is Lauren the only person in this narrative with a name?
OOP writes a whole rambling paragraph about his feelings about Lauren. He mentions that his wife and Lauren went to college together…right after telling us they were taking about college stories. Show, don’t tell my dude.
I'm not sure I'd like to meet them. Can you imagine how boringly detailed their stories are if this one wasn't detailed enough?
They were Proust fans.
Two paragraphs just to say he and his wife aren't big drinkers. Two more to describe his drunk wife. Some useless info about a passcode instead of a key, God it just went on and on.
The emphasis on drinking really makes it seem like our story writer has a drinking problem.
A social worker?
SW?
Sex worker
It's so so so boring. I am definitely not reading all of that. I'm glad OP summarized what we need to know.
I am trying to guess what is the purpose of these fake stories? I mean, they're are generally about stoking hate against women. But I think this specific type wants to normalize men asking for paternity tests? Or maybe these are just men with cuckhold fetishes getting their socks off?
"I want to clarify that that I never expected to date/marry a virgin considering the condition of the dating market"
Uh huh, sure, that's why you mention it.
The man who wrote this fanfic is obviously still a virgin, even considering the condition of the dating market. The desperation is practically jumping off the page.
“All women are sluts, that’s why I can’t get any action.”
It makes sense to them, somehow.
Well, it has to be because the women run into their purity bubble and are instantly repelled, no? I'm absolutely certain it has nothing whatsoever to do with their oh-so-charming personality...
/s (in case it's needed.)
In my country, woman worth many goat, but only if virgin!
She most also be strong on plow.
You gotta love dudes describing their romantic relationships like they’re buying a used car.
And then he supposedly simply dates somebody from work and marries her.
It’s the same incel cuck fantasy over and over again. So many other penises in there and then the kid isn’t even his. I was over OOP’s fake bullshit the moment he said they eat “clean” (god I effing hate that term) and that “aLcOHol Is PoiSon.” I need it after reading Incel spankbank revenge fantasies. Such lazy fake trash. Write better fiction.
He waxed poetic for what felt like 80 paragraphs about their alcohol consumption. A painful read to be sure.
We rarely drink because we know alcohol is poison, but tonight we decided not only to have a drink but to get completely wasted because our friend got a new job.
I like to call these posts “scary stories (for men)” and I imagine a group of bros all sitting around a campfire telling these fake stories as if they’re ghost stories. With the OP holding a flashlight under his face in a spooooky way, he’s like… “but then…the man found out…his wife had ridden OVER 100 dicks!! And though the baby wasn’t even his… he STILL pays child support TO THIS DAY! Some say you can still hear the rustling of change on the wind” And then all the other guys in the comments get really really scared. Every single time.
At least the comments on the original thread are also calling this out as the incel wank fiction that it is.
There's like a civil war going on in those comments.
This is amazing 😂
Thank you so much for this visual! It’s the male version of true crime.
except true crime stories actually happened lol
But just IMAGINE how scary it would be if these FICTIONAL things happened! OOOoooOoooo!! 👻
Man-Fiction lol
I appreciate that a lot of the comments are calling it out for the horseshit it is.
Don't forget, angelic OP didn't even ask about her "body count" himself and he didn't even become suspicious about paternity until after his brother brought it up. He is otherwise so innocent
Haha the ppl acting like it’s some big revelation that the paternity test came out negative. Wow, what are the odds?!?!?
I feel like the biggest tell that this is actually a 16 year old is the claim that 12 is a low body count. That’s someone making assumptions about adult life.
In the 90s the average number of sex partners women had in their life was 5. I don't think that's changed tooo much.
Expept for the Spiders Gorgettes out there who bang 100s of men a night.
That’s why we use median….the average income of geography majors from UNCis something like $300,000*
*Michael Jordan
The length alone of this waste of language is irritating as hell
You can be sure it's fake because he definitely has not talked to a lawyer, who would have told him:
a) Texas is a community property state, it doesn't fuckin' matter how they chose to arrange their finances while married, she's getting ~50% of everything. Probably including his company, because, as he makes clear in the original post, they were nurse-practitioners when they met, and he moves into owning his own company later. He's either going to have to buy her out OR she can fuck with him for the rest of eternity with her 50% control of his company.
b) He's the father, period, full stop. The state of Texas DOES NOT FUCKING CARE if that child is biologically yours; you were married to the child's mother when the child was born, which means you are BY LAW the father. And Texas cares a hell of a lot more that a child has two parents providing financial support than about the actual biological parentage of the child. IF the biological father could be located AND the the biological father were willing to sign an assumption of paternity, you MIGHT be able to get a court to agree to let OOP disclaim paternity. But after a full year? That's pretty dang rare, most judges won't allow it. In fact, if the Ex doesn't know who the biological father is or won't name them, OOP CANNOT FINALIZE HIS DIVORCE until the biological father is found OR OOP consents to a child support and custody order. The court will not allow the divorce to proceed until an acknowledged father is in place and a support and custody order has been entered.
c) The state of Texas GIVES ZERO FUCKS about spouses cheating on each other. The remedy for not wanting to be married to someone anymore because they did a bad thing is divorce; the state will not assist you in punishing your ex for cheating. They will just grant you a divorce, the end. You can seek a "fault" divorce in Texas for infidelity, but it takes longer and costs more than no-fault and doesn't significantly impact the financial settlement.
d) The less custody of the child he takes after divorce, the more he will be paying in child support.
e) If he opts to engage in this little revenge fantasy*: "One thing I'm really struggling with is whether or not I want to nuke her life. One big thing I can do is get her fired and make finding work extremely difficult for her. Her job means everything to her."* he is going to be paying double the child support, may have to give up a larger share of their community property because he despoiled her financial well-being (the same as if he tried to spend all the money or bankrupt his company between filing for divorce and dissolution), and possibly liable for tortious interference with her employment. The child is entitled to keep a reasonably equivalent standard of living after the divorce, and a parent who chooses to destroy his ex's ability to provide that is going to be punished by the court.
f) He should post exactly zero of this shit on reddit, particularly the parts about where he's planning in advance how he might destroy is ex's life and earning ability.
He already posted an update. It is a little bit shorter than the original, of cource the child is not his and of cource he makes further fantasy plans, but there is no substantial more info about the future. I guess, this is just a beginning of an update series of salami tactic "new info" posts in hope to be reposted on BORU soon.
We already know how the story ends. They will go to court. The judge, upon hearing what a filthy little slut the wife is, will award EVERYTHING to the OP and grant the divorce. OP will walk away feeling free and without a single care for the child he's leaving. Suddenly his business will be booming, he'll become filthy rich and then he will meet a beautiful young virgin who will worship his dick, the only penis she has ever seen or touched.
He'll never talk to his ex-wife again but one day he will run into her best friend and she'll tell him a sad tale about how his ex-wife was never the same after he left her. When other people heard about what she did she lost all her friends and her parents stopped talking to her. Her boss, who also had to divorce his slut wife, was so angered about what she did that he immediately fired her. Now jobless and homeless she became an alcoholic who sells herself to strange men just for a free meal or a place to sleep. The OP will be sad to hear that but it's not his problem, he's just glad that he got free of her and is living in his mansion with his new virgin wife.
Oh I forgot about the kid. Slutty loser ex-wife probably just gave it away considering how kids are so disposable on AITA
the incels on BORU are gonna eat this up
Less than a week and already had the paternity test back huh? Ok
I did look it up cause I was thinking the same thing and it seems post-natal paternity tests can go much faster around 2-5 days once they get to the lab, possibly including same day if you pay for it. However that also assumes it got to the lab fast and there isn't a backlog.
I love how fast these DNA tests results come out with these fake stories. That shit is not fast.
The idea that he could utterly destroy a freaking nurse practitioner's career by talking shit about her personal life is hilarious to me.
I mean, sure, he might be able to pull that off locally. Maybe... I don't know the current state of healthcare in Texas. But when I lived there, there were big practitioner shortages (at least in the corner I was in, it was better in big cities like DFW and Houston).
And absolute worst case scenario, there are a gazillion other states with shortages. Hell, she could hop one state over to New Mexico and get a job easily. They're always suffering major healthcare provider shortages, and they have pivoted to really encouraging the recruiting and usage of nurse practitioners and physician's assistants to help cover the gaps, since those kinds of providers can do a ton of everyday stuff more-or-less on their own.
Also, that kind of stuff rarely actually works out in real life like incels seem to think it would. It would actually likely tank his own reputation as much as hers, because he's suddenly the bitter dude smearing his ex-wife by calling her a slut at work. That's totally inappropriate in a professional setting and is going to put off even a lot of people who would agree with him if they were friends, and definitely not everyone is going to agree with him. Not to mention, not hiring a woman because her ex-husband said she's a slut can veer dangerously close to sex discrimination (sexual history is not protected per se, but any halfway competent HR department is going to realize that a woman having a lot of sexual partners is viewed differently than a man doing the same, and that the whole thing just opens up this big can of worms that veers dangerously close to actual illegal discrimination).
Also apparently he's an NP too. Making accusations about a colleague's personal matters is a great way to get black listed for harassment
Yeah, I wasn't clear on that because I think he seems to suggest he's no longer one, but I didn't see what he claims to be doing now (which, btw, the whole "we were all NPs but only one of us still has that job title" thing also made me think whoever wrote this doesn't know what an NP is...not impossible but I have professional experience and a lot of personal connections to the healthcare field and that's really not how anyone I know would talk about that--like even the thing about the friend going to start her own company, I've seen that happen a lot but usually it's a healthcare-related company and they retain their NP license because it's really useful).
But regardless, you're absolutely correct. No one likes the weird colleague who tries to drag everyone into their messy divorce.
100% an NP would know it's not a "job title" it's a professional license backed by a master's degree.
My point is that the NP community is not huge and even if OP owned a business (which would likely be related to the field like you said) they would be considered pseudo colleagues.
This is poorly generated AI bs.
I'm not sure what he thinks he could do. Saying she slept with a bunch of people is not illegal. If he says she was a sex worker that might affect her career, but no proof means it didn't happen. The hospital would keep it on the hush cause it's bad publicity and would spin him as crazy. But incel fantasy is never set in reality
A lot of people would see "former sex worker turns her life around and becomes a nurse" as a success story, honestly.
He also said "basically prostitution"--given the mindset of the OOP, I assumed this way "I slept with him because bought me nice gifts and took me to expensive places" or "I withheld sex until he bought me a necklace I wanted"...to lots of people that is just being a bit tacky and using being hot to get what you want.
Not gonna lie, any person who raises a child for 1 year and then wants to abandon them is a piece of shit.
If my wife cheated the last thing I'd give a shit is that he paternity of MY son. He's mine and I would go scorched earth to get every second of time with him.
Also cheating isn't a crime. What's his plan to nuke her life.
Comment removed by moderator
No, because 1) no brigading and 2) when you make the error of posting this kind of dose of reality on that kind of post, you get 40 bazillion unhinged incels downvoting you to oblivion AND DMing you vulgarities, plus dozens of responses that are like "but my dad's friend's dentist got absolutely SCREWED in his divorce, I swear, and courts are always biased in favor of women!" and I can only handle so much eye-rolling in one day.
Also, to add to myself, it's a fool's errand to inform misogynist incels that paternity is a legal, not biological, concept, and you are absolutely the legal father of anything that emerges from your wife's uterus during marriage and this has been the law in the West for over 1,000 years (including some pretty weird stories where medieval people baptize teratomas and assign them paternity because they weren't sure if they were human or not), and this has generally NOT worked in women's favor, they lose their goddamned minds and become even MORE convinced all children should be instantly DNA tested before paternity is assigned because all women are lying all the time and fucking random dicks constantly.
If you then point out all the reasons this would actually be terrible public policy, they don't care. If you point them to multiple cases where men who had their children DNA tested were then arrested for an unsolved rape a decade ago (which are equally horrifying whether the guy turned out to be a rapist, or whether he was innocent and the lab fucked up), and to statistics on the absolutely miserably bad accuracy records of commercial DNA testing laboratories which makes it a lot more likely your DNA gets falsely matched to a rape kit or that you disclaim your actual biological children because of an error, they just ignore you, because women are all cheaters and DNA tests infallibly prove it.
So, whatever, rapey misogynists, voluntarily put yourselves in a database the government regularly uses to solve crimes, it may be a net good for society after all.
Frickin STANDING OVATION
Oh hahaha. I never thought of that, but sadly the conviction rates are shit anyway. But the same misogynistic shits are absolutely the rapists. Talk about telling on yourself.
Are there some readily available examples of paternity samples being reran through a criminal database and then later solving an unsolved rape?
Genuinely curious in case I need to back pocket that information. For science 🧪.
I googled "paternity test solves crime" and got a bunch of articles. At least 9 articles on the first page were about actual crimes that were solved using genealogy sites, and other results were articles about how submitting your DNA anywhere makes it available for use by law enforcement.
They don't have to pick one person's sample and run a comparison, they just compare all the results from the lab against a list of unidentified DNA.
Hell, they tracked down a serial killer in CA using 23andMe. The 4th cousin of the serial killer had submitted a sample to 23andMe. The results were familial, so they mapped out everyone in the family and compare who was in the area of the killings at the date and time they happened.
DHS in the US purchases data in bulk from commercial DNA test providers, they're particularly used in deportations via ICE. It's kept out of court cases as much as possible, but it's common. They also appear to purchase DNA data breaches, and there have been several identified cases of DNA test providers failing to provide legally-required public notice of data breaches, sometimes even after those breaches are widely available on the dark web.
EPIC has a lot of information on the federal government overcollecting DNA for its own databases and seeking inappropriate access to commercial DNA test providers.
You are my favorite person on the internet today.
And unless these men have been absolutely fastidious about keeping tabs on all prior sexual partners, how do they know that somewhere out in the world they aren't secretly the biological father of any kids? Under their logic, the mother of that child could sue for child support--the father that has been raising that child could sue the bio dad for all the resources he spent on a child that "isn't his". Because that is the natural extension of their policy goals. Does anyone really think THAT would be in anyone's best interest? I mean, they are the ones assuming there are just so many men out there raising another man's kid--those "other men" must be someone!
Yeah I always ask who is going to pay for the extra security they’ll need to station in every maternity room. If 5% of children are born from infidelity, that’s a lot of angry men. What’s the plan? Somehow 1+1 = 5
Damn, thanks Kim Wexler!
"Average woman has a high body count" Factoid actually just a statistical error. Slut Georg, who partied extensively, is a statistical outlier adn should not have been counted
learning i’m slut georg today 😞
“The day she lied to you, she stole your ability to decide whether you wanted to be with her; t, and now you're reclaiming it.“
You could say the same if she pretended to be more interested in his hobby than she actually is. Like, people shouldn’t generally lie but acting like you have to show the worst possible version of yourself or else it’s fraud is ridiculous.
Plus, this is fake as hell. But all these dumbasses have another story for their collection of incel justifications, complete with paternity test.
He wrote an update, and people are calling him out. That's how bad it is.
That comment reads to me like it’s misappropriating the use of a specific type of coded language in an affected way that parodies the wording women use when sharing experiences. Basically, it kinda sounds to me like another dude’s lame attempt at a role-reversal thing, if that makes sense.
yeah i see a lot of comments on reddit pushing right up to the edge of the “rape by deception” idea for stuff like dishonesty or cheating or whatever. that phrase has a very specific application but for whatever reason a lot of people really want to expand the definition until it proves men are actually assaulted just as much as women (because of course for women it’s still only rape if he’s wearing a skin mask and holding you at gunpoint and even then he probably just had a bad mom growing up)
"The guy probably just has autism and can't read social cues. Did you clearly cOmMuNiCaTe that you didn't want to be raped? Men aren't mindreaders, y'know!"
Yeah, like a woman will be like, he used his brother’s identity to fabricate an entire fake life, and this guy’s like, he didn’t give you an absolutely complete sexual history!
This is interesting to me because women have been complaining about this forever and basically getting laughed at. Men lie about their jobs and money constantly. They also lie about whether they are interested in a long term relationship and eventual marriage. And t