Recognising unhealthy behaviour vs judgment.
If you are reading this, you are probably struggling with feeling judged lately.
Am I being judged?
As each generation seeks to throw off the shackles of the previous, it’s important for our personal growth to recognise unhealthy behaviours and their impact on our lives.
Our friends and family can often see those unhealthy patterns of behaviour better as close outsiders looking in than we can see in ourselves. Those patterns can also become so normalised in our lives that they form part of our identity. Challenging them can create a crisis of identity, and that can be real dam scary.
When those around us challenge those unhealthy behaviours, especially if we don’t want to face them, it can feel like an attack and personal judgement.
To grow from those experiences, we need to recognise the difference between someone identifying an unhealthy behaviour because they care and someone maliciously judging you.
Unhealthy behaviours are patterns that harm our physical, emotional, and mental health. These things can include substance abuse, unhealthy eating habits, poor soft skills, lack of exercise and sleep, and negative thought patterns.
Personal judgment, on the other hand, involves making malicious assumptions about another’s character based on their behaviour.
This can lead to negative feelings by people who may be struggling with those unhealthy behaviours. Everyone has their own journey and struggles, and judging them is not our place.
Yet genuine family and friends have a loyalty to challenge your unhealthy behaviours. It’s only the fair-weather friends that reinforce your own personal basis.
The life lesson comes in understanding when someone is maliciously judging us and when they recognise our unhealthy behaviours, and we feel triggered by that.
You can do a stupid thing, it doesn’t inherently make you a stupid person. smart people do stupid things all the time.
Recognising unhealthy behaviours vs judgement of others
It’s good to remember that just because someone engages in unhealthy behaviours, it doesn’t make them a bad person. The person is not inherently their behaviours, when we do this we can approach the issues with empathy and understanding. This leads to more productive and positive conversations.
To differentiate between recognising unhealthy behaviours and personal judgment, the key is to focus on the behaviour itself and not the individual.
As the Cynic philosopher Diogenes once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” By actively listening, we can approach someone we care about with empathy and understanding of their perspectives, and we can create an environment of compassion and support instead of making assumptions and passing judgment.
Unhealthy behaviours are often rooted in deeper issues, such as past social conditioning, trauma or mental health struggles. Addressing these issues requires patience and understanding.
This approach allows us to support them in addressing underlying issues with compassion and working towards healing and growth.
As we strive towards personal growth and positive change over our previous generations, let us approach ourselves and others with compassion and empathy.
