Byron Brown has written a one-of-a-kind book about that voice inside of us that criticizes us, advises us, warns us, compares us to others and tells us what's acceptable for us. While there are other books on this inner critic, also known as the Superego in Freudian psychology, Brown's book is written from the perspective of human personal and spiritual development rather than the psychology of neurosis. This approach results in understanding and practical tools for the reader that go far beyond the ordinary descriptions of the inner critic.
Brown explains how the inner critic is a collection of opinions, standards and behaviors that we learned when we were little, mostly from our parents. The critic functions as an internal parent, advising us what's right for us, morally, socially and personally. For example: "Work hard, don't cry, don't show anger, be careful of such-and-such people, be a nice girl, be a big boy." Whenever we are doing something that this internal parent considers "wrong", it becomes a critic that uses shame, blame, humiliation, threats and fear to get us back in line.
While this internal critic was helpful when we were young and kept us out of trouble, as adults its control has become largely unnecessary and, in fact, is now stifling us in our everyday life. We have sufficient wisdom, intelligence and plain common sense to lead our lives, but our inner critic continues to run much of the show. It keeps us small, tells us we're screw-ups, scares us away from anything new, threatens us with ridicule by others and warns us not to make waves. And the disconcerting thing about it is that we think this is us, giving ourselves good, truthful advice, while it's really a repetitive and constricting ghost from the past. What's more, the inner critic uses our own vitality to power its constant judging and commentary, sapping us of the strength we need to live our lives fully.
Brown describes the origins of the inner critic, its effects on one's life, and in chapters 18 and 20 details the most revolutionary part of the book: defending against the inner critic. Readers may be a bit shocked at the strength of the language Brown uses to tell the inner critic to shut up and get out. But upon trying the exercises we can feel how our strength, usurped by the inner critic, once again becomes available to us so we can stand up to the criticism and act freely in our lives, guided by our own capacities.
Soul without Shame is a precise and multifaceted manual to understand and become free of the inner critic's limiting action in our lives. The recurring scenes between Frank and Sue give a direct illustration of the main points the book makes, as do the many case studies. Altogether, this book is for anyone who wants to know more about that critical voice in their head and learn how to live life more fully.
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Top reviews from other countries
giles p collins
Unexpectedly enjoyable - albeit tough in places
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 10, 2017
