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Recently, i shot a wedding. prior to the wedding, the bride wanted a boudoir shoot that involved her with her wedding dress, sexy lingerie, her nude, and some sexual poses. She wanted an album to present to her husband as a gift after the wedding. This is a service I typically offer, and have provided it many times in the past.
Shoot goes well, bride is in love with the "surprise" photos I took for her husband, and the wedding itself went amazingly. Bride and groom were so happy with my work at the wedding, they gave me a hefty tip at the end.
A short time later, I get an angry email from the groom. He wants a full refund because he feels it was inappropriate and unprofessional for me to take those photos of his wife, and see his wife in such a way. I assured him that I did nothing against his bride's wishes, I didn't touch her at any point, and all printing was done in house; nothing was ever seen by anyone but myself. The groom's response was that as a man, I should have known not to take the photo request from his wife, and should have never looked at his wife in such a way, and still demands a full refund.
What's the best way to handle this?
What a loser. Offer him a discount on his next wedding, after this one ends because of jealousy and arrogance
Holy crap this is great haha.
Cuck
Who was the person who purchased/paid for the shoot? If the wife wanted the shoot and you shot the pictures she wanted as a gift to the groom, and she approved of all of the pictures than how are you obligated to provide a refund?
I'm assuming they have combined finances, the bride paid via paypal for both the wedding and the boudoir shoot. The wedding and boudoir shoots are different shoots with different contracts. The groom wants all of the money refunded however.
Ya sounds like he wants the money back due to the boudoir photos and he wasn't technically your client for that. Unless the wife was unhappy (which she wasn't) I would politely tell the groom to pound sand. I am guessing you are a male. It is likely jealousy issues that you saw her naked by the sounds of it.
No.
Paying for photography isn't a refundable purchase. You don't get to hire a photographer, decide you don't like the photos, then keep the photos and your money.
Nope. Combined finances or not, she's got a legal right to enter into a contract and pay for things herself. He doesn't have to approve of it.
That poor wife. She was so excited to give him that gift she was so proud of... And nope. He's totally insecure and pissed off. Shitty thing to learn about your husband right after marrying him.
I agree with the others though. It's not on you. Politely tell him the contract for the boudoir work was between the bride and you and was completed satisfactorily. And that you're sorry he doesn't feel as satisfied as your cliet does (Did, seriously poor woman).
Maybe other wording though. Not sure that telling the jealous husband all about how you satisfied his wife is the right way to go here. :)
Err, change it to fully and deeply satisfied?!
Haha. My girlfriend just said the exact same thing!
Of course she did😂
Not wanting other men to see your wife NUDE is not insecure gimme a break
It kinda is, actually. My doctor and other medical professionals see me naked. My massage therapist has seen me naked (basically)… he was hired to take professional photographs. I’m not sure what it is if it’s not insecurity?
bruh. why would another man what someone else to be able to see the woman he feels is special nude. then that feeling of seeing her nude doesn’t feel special if just anyone can see it. I mean if u want ur husbands dick soft be my guest but no man wants that haha
Any other man seeing u naked is cheating. How would u feel if ur husband went to the strip club lmao sober up
Only women gotta be upvoting this shit like no way u think it’s okay for another man to take sexy photos of your wife. what are u guys smoking. I do think asking for a refund is stupid it’s the brides fault for not going to a female photographer if her man wasn’t comfortable with another dude seeing her like that (basically cheating)
That sucks and is totally unreasonable! I would say "I can't offer any refund for contracted work that has been completed." Remind him that his wife took you up on a service that you offer, if he doesn't like that, it's on her/their relationship. You fulfilled a contract with one of them; you haven't done any wrong, this is something they need to work out between themselves.
I'd refer him to the signed contract you have with his wife that covers a boudoir shoot. If you're shooting boudoir and don't have both a contract and a witness there with you, I'd say you're nuts. I wouldn't do a boudoir without both.
Edit: If you don't have a contract, then its going to be a touchy issue and you're going to have to go with your gut. If there's a potential for significant referral business, it might be in your best interest to satisfy him. If not, stand your ground. Him not liking it isn't really your business.
I have contracts for everything. I usually don't have a witness for boudoir shoots unless the client wants to bring one.
At this point I doubt there is much he could do, even a bad review, that could hurt my business, but it just drives me nuts that someone is unsatisfied; especially with how much the bride loved the work.
Hey as long as you've got a contract, you're golden. I've never shot boudoir because, as a guy, I feel like I'd be opening myself up to potential issues, and I've always said that if I did do it, I'd bring a witness. If you've got a contract though, screw him. Let him write a bad review. You can back it up with her being willing to do it, and she set it up. He's just an insecure dick.
I don't either, but have male friends that shoot it. They always have either their wife or their female assistant and/or HMUA there for all shoots.
It's frustrating to get bad reviews, but it's part of any business. Accept that it happens and move on. "If you try to please everybody all of the time..." and all that...
There was someone on r/photography and he said the girl he was photographing was hitting on him and he said he had a girlfriend. This girl got pissed and later went to the cops saying he raped her or was trying to rape her.
The thing is there was other people in the house that he can use as witnesses that they did not hear anything. I told him might be a good idea to record the shoot just in case you ever run into problems you can use it as evidence.
Agreed. I shoot boudoir with my wife or an assistant present just in case, you never know what kind of weird things will get thrown around after the fact.
He no on contract, his opinion no matter.
If he still complains, just say "I promise not to do it the next time she gets married."
This is the correct answer. She was the client, not him and that's where it legally ends. Make this known.
I would not budge on the refund for anything and he can spout off as much as he wants. Besides, what is giving the money back going to solve? OP still saw her naked and has the photos to prove it. Hell, if it were in the contract, the images could be posted online as part of his portfolio. Maybe he should ask the husband for more money NOT to post the images! (kidding of course.)
Wow, I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a difficult and insecure person. I wonder if he gets mad when she has to get undressed for the Gyno as well, or in the gym lockers?!?!
He was an interesting individual. He didn't even want my female second shooter in the bride's room for getting ready shots
ok that's a red flag right there. When did he tell you about that and did he give you any reason why?
BRUH GAVING A MAN TAKE SEXY PICS OF UR GIRL NAKED IS NIF LIKE GOING TO THE GYM
Oh brooooother. This isn't an issue of being unhappy with photos, it's an issue of jealousy. This is between him and his wife and I would honestly just stay out of it completely. This is way above your pay grade.
I feel so bad for that poor girl.
You provided what you were hired for, there is no reason for a refund. She hired you for a service and you had that contract with her alone, which is different then the wedding contract. She hired you knowing you were male and she was (obviously) ok with that. I think the best thing you can do it contact him (in person or over the phone would be better) and listen to his concerns. Tell him that his wife hired you and was happy with the products. Let him know that you printed those images in house so no one else saw them. Reassure him that the images will not be used for advertising in anyway and that no one else will see them. If at that point he is still upset and still wants a refund end the conversation, there is nothing more you can do. If he wants to take it further and try to sue you he has no grounds for winning.
Honestly he sounds like a tool. Obviously a chauvenist with antiquated gender norms. I know it's really hard to take any criticism at all of your work - I'd personally have a hard time letting it go.
But you literally did nothing wrong. The client's husband can go screw himself.
I side with the husband on this. I would have divorced her immediately for infidelity.
Everyone is 100% right that the groom is completely in the wrong, especially legally. The photographer can absolutely keep the money in this case, and legally wouldn't have any issues.
At the same time, in this business a pissed off client can do a lot to hurt you with reviews, and it's always better to do everything you reasonably can to leave them happy, up to a point.
That's why, below, my first advice was to express clearly that he understands the groom's feeling, and would like to do what he can (which DOES NOT include a refund on the wedding).
He could mention that although it's a common practice, there was obviously a misjudgement on the wife's part that he would enjoy the shots, and he would do whatever he could within reason regarding the boudoir shoot to make the groom feel better.
Some things he could offer before a refund is to offer make it like the shoot didn't happen, offer to delete the files, and apply the cost of the boudoir shoot to an album instead.
Or, although the photographer is completely in the right, the offer could be made to return the funds for the boudoir shoot, and delete the files, IF the photographer cares more about customer satisfaction than that part of the cash.
Although the photographer is right here, and the groom has nothing legal to stand on, One bad review on the wrong websites can cost someone a lot more than the cost of a boudoir shoot, so it may help to try and appease him in some way.
Look, you're completely in the right as far as the contract goes, but what's really happening here is dealing with someone's hurt feelings.
maybe it could be suggested for the 3 of you to get together and talk about things?
Legally, you're completely right about not owing them a penny, but it sounds like one of the things you care about too is how he feels about you and your services. Which is a different issue.
I would completely acknowledge how he feels this way and you understand. Mention that it's something brides are often asking for these days so you weren't surprised by the request, but completely understand how he feels and offer to do anything around the boudoir shoot to make it right for him. (IF you don't care about the money around that part of the shoot but instead want to make him happy).
Ask what you can do for him. Can you refund the boudoir portion? can you delete the images like they never happened?
I feel like what's going on here, more than the cost of the services is he's been triggered into a competition feeling over his wife. I would very publicly (between the 3 of you) capitulate, and back down. Let him feel like this is something he's completely in control over.
You can be firm about not being able to refund the cost of the entire wedding, but do everything you can to consider his feeling around the boudoir shoot.
Another option would be to offer to remove everything about the boudoir shoot (all the files, the final product, etc) and offer to put that money towards a regular wedding album instead.
Hope some of this helps, I know it's about keeping a client happy rather than just whether you're in the right.
good luck.
Meeting a jealous idiot sounds like an absolutely horrible idea. You can de-escalate over email where you have a paper trail.
Email might be a better way to do it, but can you really not understand why a guy might have a reaction to another guy seeing his wife naked on her wedding day?
I absolutely can't come close to understanding why he'd think it's appropriate to talk to a single person other than his wife about that, much less try to get out of paying.
This is a couple's communication issue, not photographer. It's indefensible.
Right. It is a couples issue. And the couple is his client for the wedding. how do you deal with a hurt client?
personally I try to get a conversation going and let them know I'm listening.