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Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing: The powerful memoir from the beloved star of Friends Hardcover – 1 Nov. 2022


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'There's never been a more honest or raw memoir . . . and it may just save lives' Daily Mail

'Funny, fascinating, compelling . . . also a wonderful read for fans of
Friends' The Times

'HI, MY NAME IS MATTHEW, although you may know me by my full name. My friends call me Matty.'

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who travelled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called
Friends Like Us . . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell - and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it - Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he's found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humour, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fuelled it despite seemingly having it all.

'An unflinching and often harrowing must-read for 90s pop culture fans' Guardian

'Written with Chandler's trademark sarcasm and self-deprecation'
Telegraph

'A hopeful read . . . I started to think of [it] not as a celebrity memoir about addiction, but as an addiction memoir written by a man who understands his own history through the prism of showbiz'
Independent

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Popular highlights in this book

From the Publisher

Front cover of Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

The No.1 bestseller

Back cover of book

The intimate and eye-opening autobiography of the acclaimed Friends star

'Funny, fascinating and compelling' The Times

'Unflinching and often harrowing' Guardian

'There's never been a more honest, raw memoir' Daily Mail

Product description

Review

Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing is a raw, unflinching memoir that took courage to write. As it turns out, Matthew Perry has a lot of courage. He takes us through his addiction, his illness and his paralyzing loneliness. Somehow, during the course of his life, Matthew was able to turn his pain into comedic joy for others, but, he tells us, it was at a cost. Matthew takes us through his "hell" but doesn't wallow. Ultimately, this book is filled with hope for the future. If you want to know about who Matthew Perry is, stay away from the rags and read this.Marta Kauffman, co-creator of the NBC sitcom Friends

There's never been a more honest or raw memoir . . . and it may just save lives -- Daily Mail

Funny, fascinating, compelling . . . also a wonderful read for fans of
FriendsThe Times

Harrowing and revealing about the juncture where extreme compound addiction collides with mega-celebrity ―
Observer

An unflinching and often harrowing must-read for 90s pop culture fans ―
Guardian

Written with Chandler's trademark sarcasm and self-deprecation ―
Telegraph

A hopeful read . . . I started to think of [it] not as a celebrity memoir about addiction, but as an addiction memoir written by a man who understands his own history through the prism of showbiz ―
Independent

Book Description

The extraordinarily open and honest autobiography of acclaimed Friends star Matthew Perry.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Headline (1 Nov. 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1472295935
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1472295934
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.8 x 3.2 x 23.8 cm
  • Customer reviews:

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Matthew Perry
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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
38,445 global ratings
Good
5 Stars
Good
Wonderfully raw and deeply personal, i am so glad Matthew had time to write his story before he left us.Friends has always been one of my favourite tv shows, i would literally watch the repeats every single day, twice a day 😂😂. It still has me laughing now. So when i learned of Matthew's struggles, i felt so sad. It's always the people who seem happy and make others laugh that seem to have the biggest inner demons.I'm so glad that i read this because it made me feel at peace with Matthew's story. He had learned so much about his addictions and inner thoughts and was progressing really well. I am constantly trying to learn more and understand my own conditions, so i really related to him.I cried my way through the last chapter. Although i don't struggle with the same issues as Matty, i understand a lot of his thoughts, feelings, and struggles .You will always be loved, Matthew ❤️Rest in peace. 🕊✨️
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Top reviews from United Kingdom

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 15 December 2023
Having almost grown up with Matthew Perry and being of similar age, I was vaguely aware of his trials and tribulations with addictions, and due to his recent untimely death thought I would pick this up and give it a read.
I hadn’t read any reviews or had any preconceptions of this book, it was just one of those Quick Look for a new book and quick select and buy .

The book itself is heart warming in places and heart breaking in others, full with bitter sweet moments.
And I have to say is written in a strange format , sometimes it can be a little hard to follow time lines etc.
It feels like a person in absolute turmoil just pouring out his feeling and thoughts , troubles and tribulations
In a way that comes across that this book was not a way to write his story but was actually a part of his own therapy and you can almost feel the release of all his hurt and troubles onto the page.

It’s not well written, well edited or produced, however this adds to the charm that as you progress through the book you can feel his troubled life unfold.
His battle of all things addictive is absolutely brutal at times and his rollercoaster ride of fighting this is evident all the way through, and the sad thing is towards the end of the book you feel his is winning and that he is starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, which we all now know isn’t the case due to his untimely death.

If you are thinking this book might be fully of giggles, you won’t find much of it here, the odd wry smile perhaps. But this book is insightful of a person with chronic addiction and proof that money and fame can’t buy you happiness.

After reading this it’s very apparent I thought I knew about Matthew Perry it was actually his character “ Chandler “ I knew and it shows our perception of who we see on screen can be totally different to the person behind the mask.

A truly interesting biopic and worth the read
27 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 February 2024
This book was a brilliant read. It was a completely honest account of his life, how he struggled, what made him happy, and what made him sad. It was a sad read but had many laughs in it as well. It's a real shame he's no longer around because at the end of the book, he seems to have everything together and is doing really well. I loved this book. it just took me a while to get through it due to real life 🙄 but I'd highly recommend it to anyone. I had tears in my eyes a few times but laughed at it as well. It's definitely a great book to start my 2024 reading!
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 January 2024
What an honest, heartbreaking and very poignant read. with the knowledge that the author is no longer with us lurking in the background.
A very open and cautionary account of addiction and trauma. Read it very quickly and was glad I did. I hadn't realised how much work Matthew Perry had done other than Friends and, as he requests, nw friends won't be what I consider his legacy to be. Instead it will be a strong character who kept coming back and pushing through despite the horrible addiction he continually struggled with.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 May 2024
I’ve not read a book in years, but as soon as I picked this one up I was hooked.

Intriguing and sad, the suffering that man went through .
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 December 2023
Everyone should read this book.
Addiction is (...there are no words strong enough...)
The achievements this wonderful man made whilst going through this just leaves me in awe.
He came, struggled, entertained, struggled, spread love and humour all over the world, struggle a few more thousand times...found peace and acceptance, then passed on to his teacher...he had learned his lessons and is in a better place 🙏
Thank you, thank you and thank you a thousand times for the joy and strength you gave to me through your work Matty. I'll be forever grateful...and could you BE any more loved? You know this now which makes my heart happy 🙏💜
Thank you for writing such a wonderful book. I read it in two days pretty much, couldn't stop reading it.
Highly recommended read.
Rest easy and free Matthew xx 😇 God bless 🙏💙
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 February 2024
Possibly the most bleak books I’ve read. I was going to pass onto my daughter who’s a massive fan but decided not to. It’s very readable but… not for everyone
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

jandira tedesco garcia
5.0 out of 5 stars Honesta
Reviewed in Brazil on 1 March 2024
Gostei bastante do livro, realmente olhando como espectador a vida dele parecia sóglamur.
No entanto eles são mais sucetíveis ao vicio do que uma pessoa comum.
Chrissi G - BookDragon78
5.0 out of 5 stars "... as I drove, I realized that I was leaning toward the windshield... I wanted to be tgere."
Reviewed in the United States on 25 November 2023
There are some books you want to look through the reviews before you decide if you want to pick it up or not, then there are others you just want to read for yourself. Matthew's book was one that I wanted to read for myself. Though in looking through the reviews now that I have finished it, I realize either someone loves it or does not, there is no in-between it seems.

Before I write any more of my review - I want to point out that I am 99.9% certain I read a Kindle version that was edited to remove whatever there was about Keanu. So if someone is reading my review wondering why I don't mention it, I cannot comment on what I did not read. --- One more observation, from the reviews I did look through, it seems that most people who *listened* to the book disliked it more than those who *read* it. Seems listening to it make it more difficult to follow the already jumping timeline. Again, just my observation.

From the beginning Matthew tells us how this story is going to be written/told. How? you ask? "Groundhog Day" is his favorite movie, do I really need to say anything more? If you do not understand this reference, please take the time (1 hour and 40 minutes) to watch the 1993 classic movie with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. Then perhaps more things will make sense for you.

Thankfully I have never been an alcoholic or an addict, however, I have known several in my life. For them every day is groundhog day. Every morning the question of, "How will I get through today without a drink/pill/smoke/etc." makes every 24 hours the same. Matthew shows that in spades with his repetition throughout his story. Many of the reviews I saw complained about the repetition; if they don't understand it, perhaps they should count themselves lucky not to. To have never known someone who lives every day like this; or to not be that person themselves.

Matthew's story didn't end all sunshine-and-rainbows with a happily every after. Not everyone's does. I appreciated the fact that he kept it real. That he kept it honest. That he shows his faults to us just as much as he shows us the goodness. Life isn't always polished and pretty no matter who you are or how much money you have. Matthew proves that. No matter how bad things seemed to be for him, Matthew always looked to his future, he always wanted to be there. Perhaps not always for the right reasons, but reasons that kept him moving forward nonetheless. There is something to be admired about that.

Interestingly, one of my favorite lines reads, "God looked down on me, just waiting it out. He's got all the time in the world. F*<k, he invented time." There is something raw and honest and scary and funny in those words that just made me stop reading and literally highlight it in my Kindle book. Follow that with another line I highlighted that reads, "It was an amazing moment and a terrible moment all at at the same time." Talk about defining life most days. Perhaps not Pulitzer winning writing, but powerful and truthful just the same.

I have to say my all-time favorite sentence is this one - "God is everywhere - you just have to clear your channel, or you'll miss it." Doesn't matter what version of God you believe in, that sentence has a profound truth to it. (That one got highlighted in pink) Not something I would have expected from Matthew. But I am grateful he wrote it.

I am easily giving this book all five stars for it's raw honesty, it's openness, it's imperfectness. Just like Matthew.

Yes, I finally read his story after his sudden death on October 28, 2023. As I'm writing this on November 24, 2023, his cause of death still has not been determined nor released. Which makes one last sentence stand out for me in a premonition kind of way as I wonder what COD will turn out to be... Matthew himself wrote, "I could have a cigarette right now, have a heart attack, and if no one was around to call 911, I was a goner." Well, he was home alone, and he did try to call 911 himself, but he was unable to save himself this time. Oh, Matthew.

I wonder if you have finally found peace and all the deep, full Love you have always desired. Thank You for leaving a light on for us with your story. I pray it helps more people so that you may continue helping people even after you've gone on ahead of us in death.
243 people found this helpful
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Coool!As described in the picture
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfetto
Reviewed in Italy on 19 May 2024
Bellissimo
Megi Lengu
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely worth buying. 🫶🏻
Reviewed in Germany on 10 April 2024
I bought this book right after i finished watching Friends. (Yea, 2024 i know 🥲)
It really hits diferent when you read and rewatch the show again cz you can understand what Mathew was going through while making the whole world laugh for decades.
I dont want to write more cz i dont want to spoil it for you, but if you really liked him as an actor, definitely should order the book.
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Megi Lengu
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely worth buying. 🫶🏻
Reviewed in Germany on 10 April 2024
I bought this book right after i finished watching Friends. (Yea, 2024 i know 🥲)
It really hits diferent when you read and rewatch the show again cz you can understand what Mathew was going through while making the whole world laugh for decades.
I dont want to write more cz i dont want to spoil it for you, but if you really liked him as an actor, definitely should order the book.
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One person found this helpful
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Charm Codaste
5.0 out of 5 stars Nice
Reviewed in the Netherlands on 27 March 2024
Nice