Subreddit for the Netflix TV series starring Richard Gadd and Jessica Gunning. The story follows the writer and performer Richard Gadd's warped relationship with his female stalker and the impact it has on him as he is ultimately forced to face a deep, dark buried trauma.
Discussion
The show itself? Great. One of the most emotive pieces of cinema I’ve seen in a while. A lot of the stuff outside of it? Very yucky.
Seeing people get falsely accused of being the characters portrayed in the show.
seeing the real Martha on Piers Morgan in itself felt very wrong, but on top of that some of the comments she made about Gadd were really ugly.
I feel very strongly that something nasty is going to come from all of this and we’re all gonna have a “oh shit this is real” moment when it happens.
I can’t help but feel somewhat complicit because despite all of what I’ve said, I still tuned in for the interview and I’m loosely following along with everything that’s transpired since.
One wonderful silver lining is all of those who came forward about their own past abuse due to the show and that’s extremely heartwarming.
Like others said here, this is all extremely black mirror-esque.
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I read somewhere there are fans camping in Richard Gadd's garden. Did they not get the point of the series? I would be terrified in Richard's stead.
Yeah, I simply cannot believe that fans are stalking Richard as well as the people that fans suspect are inspirations of the show. Like what the fuck?! Seriously, after watching this show, that's what you go and do?
People are stupid and pathetic
I binged it all two days after it came out, stayed up half the night, I just couldn't look away, it was so intense and I cried so much, holy shit
I haven't talked about this situation with anyone other than my girlfriend, who hasn't seen the show but listens to my rambling about it, and we're both appalled with what's going, like what??? Gadd SPECIFICALLY asked that we not look, even for the Darien guy, and ppl should have respected his wishes, it's freaky as
Oh God I cried too at parts of it. Especially when he was telling his parents and the daddy telling him about being part of the Catholic Church 😭
I cried a lot at different parts but absolutely bawled when his dad said that😭😭
That sounded off. Was the Intention to suggest that childhood sexual abuse was more likely in RC world than in BBs or anywhere else? Surely the whole point about sexual abuse by the clergy was that people expected better of them rather than that there was a higher incidence? Donnie's Dad didn't mention anything further than that so it was a matter of inference what could be drawn from it.
Dude we know child abuse is rife in the catholic church. Anywhere men have power there is abuse. You have to be pretty obtuse to not understand the implication.
Yeah the implication was incredibly clear. And Donnie's dad is not even making a statement about the statistical incidence of abuse in the Catholic church, so the parent comment didn't have to get offended about that - he's just saying that HE was abused by a priest. He can't bring himself to say the words so he lets Donnie (and the viewer) connect the dots.
edit: sorry for the random comment, didn't realise this was an old thread!
“A matter of inference” - lol, really? What other conclusion could you draw from it?
You're reading WAY too much into it. The whole point was about shame and perception of victims and masculinity. His dad said "do you see me as any less of a man?", showing his son that despite him also being a victim of sexual abuse, he'll never have seen him any differently his whole life. How the hell you could see that scene and think it was some dig at the Catholic church is beyond me.
Like others have said abuse has been prevalent in the Catholic Church. We know this to be a fact. In the UK and the ROI. Come back to me when you’ve educated yourself a bit more.
As everyone else has said in the Catholic Church abuse was prevalent. How does that sound off when we all know it to be a fact.
It’s the Streisand effect.
?
The more you try to suppress something the more it circulates.
For some reason I forgot the word binge exists and thought you meant you used Bing to search everything about it 😂
Alta Vista all the way
lol
Same 😂 I wish I didnt binged it! I skipped a night because I couldnt fall asleep because of the adrenaline. The 5 nights after that I kept having nightmares because it just was too intense for me 😅
And the real Darien would almost unleash a nuclear defamation lawsuit against anyone who tries to out them.
My thoughts exactly. It's horrifyingly wrong to give this unstable woman a platform. This does not end well, and at this point I think the least turbulent outcome is she oversteps and goes to prison for real.
The situation reminds me of tabloids writing mean things about Amy Winehouse when it was very clear it was a life and death situation.
That’s a really good comparison. Tabloids are so vile. It was the same situation with Pete Doherty, fortunately he managed to make it out the other side. Amy didn’t, and they took zero accountability for how they exploited her situation.
This whole situation is very dangerous and bizarre. Fiona could harm herself as she is obviously very ill mentally. The same goes for Richard ofcourse. Having to relive the trauma during the takes is one thing, to have literally the whole world talking about it and “fans” camping at your house is just insane and would be at least very triggering. I mean Fiona doing an interview at piers is just ridiculous and harmful.
I truly hope everyone gets the help they need and there will be no escalations.
She has a personality disorder. If you've ever known someone who has one, it's pretty ugly in real life too. All those social niceties that normal people try to do, people with personality disorders cannot manage for very long. If anything bad comes of that, it's because it was meant to. Stalking is one of those things that often leads to violence. I, for one, having been stalked, am very glad that Gadd put a spotlight on the issue. Many people experience it and there is virtually no help at all out there for the problem. Stalkers are usually severely mentally disordered or personality disordered so they're very unpredictable and toxic people who invite all kinds of bad scenarios. I really wish stalking was not a thing but since it is, you have things like this play out in the media.
Can we stop spreading misinformation and stigma about Personality Disorders please? It’s really not necessary and doesn’t help anyone, just puts up barriers to people getting help.
For real. People with personality disorders can live a completely normal life with therapy and medication. I’m so tired of everyone saying their ex is a narcissist, has bpd, or bipolar. Some people are just shitty people having a personality disorder does not automatically make you an asshole
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Did I not say just that??? Trust me I am aware as I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features and when I was unmedicated I was not the best person. But not every single person who is an asshole has a personality disorder, tho Martha clearly suffers from mental health issues but we do not know what exactly. Some people are just evil. Also most people with personality disorders are not bad people, and acting like everyone who has a personality disorder is incapable of managing or understanding social niceties only feeds into bad stereotypes. It’s literally impossible for everyone and their mother’s ex to be a narcissist/bipolar/have bpd - they’re just not that common of diagnoses. Sometimes people are just dicks.
Are you a psychiatrist? Probably not. And if you are not, you should probably become one if you are able to diagnose serious and complex disorders that easily.
there's no misinformation. people with personality disorders can cause serious harm to other people and that's just the truth. victims have a right to share their story--that's precisely what Richard Gadd did. the person commenting above is sharing their story.
Personality disorder isn't a single thing, there a different types of personality disorder with very very very different presentations.
The inaction by the police really shows why people do not do it, the reporting. Imo, This is not a stalking piece. It is more-Hollywood, here is the handbook. All things done for the prize. FAME
Well you just said that people can't get justice by the police...so maybe Gadd decided to raise awareness about the situation instead. I've tried to report a stalker to the police. They don't take it seriously at all because they know they don't have the tools to actually investigate the situation and they're the least creative people on the face of the planet. Basically unless you present them a dead body, they're useless.
Exactly. If they made a movie about the rist who destroyed my life and led me to my own addiction... I would feel so seen and heard and much better without him ever needing to ever be named public. For me and for his wife who was my boss and promoted me as a young professional, and him to know would heal me in ways therapy has been able to fully do. I never reported either. 2002 is way past the statue and I too, was partying at the time drinking and falling asleep at my bosses so called safe place, was anything but safe.
Have had a incredible experience that almost cost me my life. You have to take into your own hands.
He also led her on multiple times and had a shitty degenerate life. I dont feel sorry for either one.
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Christ reading remarks like this make me feel so glad that I can understand nuance in life, some of these comments are shallowwwww
I like how this series can out some peoples true colors
Being led on is sad at best. Something no one normal thinks about a year on. Comparing that to everything she put him through, which he'll likely never forget, is insane
Yikes I’d take a traumatized addict over someone like you any day. Edit: LMAO sucks that your comment wishing abuse on me got deleted 😉
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Be civil, polite and courteous. No trolling. No victim-blaming. Treat others with respect and kindness. This show is bound to elicit big feelings for many viewers. As contributors post and comment in this sub, treat each other with respect and kindness.
Says so much about you and nothing really about them. How sad to lack basic empathy and humanity of imperfect people who one at least acknowledged and is trying to do right. When you are messed up and led astray in your twenties by grown adults we'll over 40s, it changes you until you process and heal from it. Acting out or self medicating is a very common non fix band aid to trauma. Ask any active duty war man or woman.
We don't know who raped Richard. We cannot assess if somebody was truthfully or falsely accused.
Even if Richard Gadd have publicly defended Sean Foley, it doesn't prove or disprove anything.
We know that show portray Martha as quite similar to the real person.
The same could be assumed for Darrien.
I obviously cannot accuse Sean Foley just based on this, but neither cannot he be absolutely ruled out.
I think they should have done more to protect everyone.I mean it’s called baby reindeer that’s a very unique nickname. They could have switched the animal and subbed little instead of baby. There are lots of tweaks they could have made. So that maybe she really couldn’t have identified herself or at least wondered is that me.
I think if it wasn’t a hit it could have been even more disastrous.The portrayal she had tried to sabotage him and physically harmed him and others involved with him. It put the actors/ actresses as well as the real life counterparts at risk.
In this day and age there had to been some forethought that people would try to figure it out even if told not to. I think it was all pretty reckless good show but the circumstances. yikes
She would have know it was her either way!
I agree, but dealing closely with mental health issues all my life. Depending on how accurate the show is could very well make a difference to Martha. As well as sharing what she may see as extremely personal details.
Easier to blow off when you feel it’s either extremely blown out of proportion, the character may be made up of you and other people and the personal details changed enough to not bother you.
If she felt that she was going to be easily found out or would be sooner or later that can also play a role. From what it seems she doesn’t have a lot of plausible deniability, she was probably watching this all escalate seeing people look for who the show was based on and then being discovered. I feel that is likely why she came forward is it’s likely the best chance to mitigate the damage.
Fiona literally committed crimes and made Gadd's life hell, why should he be expected to protect her? I don't think anyone would say he should be obliged to protect his rapists identity, even if the rapist had a mental illness
Let me clarify, it seems I may have been misunderstood.
Yes she committed crimes I was not trying to say or implying she should have gotten away with them. I don’t think she should. From what was shown in the show she was charged and sentenced.
My initial post said they didn’t do enough to protect everyone. Protecting her identity is protecting everyone.
I was never trying to say anything about the rapist ( Darien ). I think most everyone would agree justice was not severed there.
I’m not saying rape (Darien) or sexual assault (Martha) was ok or that mental illness excuses those crimes.
You’re implying she is capable of rational decisions…
Not necessarily, people with mental illnesses level of rationality can vary especially when treated or untreated. Other things can affect their mental state as well.
It is not out of the realm of possibilities that she could have seen the show and not worried about it and been okay or that she could have seen the show and it caused her stress and anxiety and not been okay.
Things like how accurate it is could potentially play a part in that. The risk would always be there but why not try to mitigate it as much as possible. As you pointed out she is capable of being irrational.
netflix/gadd didn’t take fiona’s privacy seriously at all and i think it’s because they know that she doesn’t have the money to sue them like the real darrien would. makes me sick to think about the fact that this mentally ill woman is being spotlighted when there’s still a groomer/rapist being successful and hidden.
Or maybe they have thousands of emails of proof of Fiona's crimes and nothing on Darien
yeah that’s true as well, i hadn’t thought of it in terms of evidence. it just bothers me a lot that darrien gets to live his successful life unscathed by baby reindeer (so far), yet fiona was found out instantly (because she is more public with her harassment). it just maintains the sad fact that men in media can get away with grooming and rape and remain successful.
If this character is portrayed accurately, he has committed these crimes on plenty of others, I'm sure. His identity will come out eventually. Plus, I don't think the real martha was jailed, I'm sure gadd said she got a restraining order in real life. Remember, this is his story, but some parts HAVE been fictionalised for dramatic purposes. It literally says this at the end. It's not a documentary. It is his story told by him.
We don’t know whether or not they do or don’t have any evidence on him. If they do it’s likely not the volume of evidence believed to exist on Martha. I’m not saying they did but they very well could have altered the story to protect his identity. We don’t know as his identity thus far hasn’t been found out but that has not stopped people from speculating and accusing who it is.
The things that Martha has confirmed there is a great deal they didn’t change that they likely could’ve in her case.
Based on the success of the show and the money Netflix has I’m guessing there’s a line of lawyers ready to jump in on this. Fiona will have her pick but good luck to the lawyer who has to deal with her
Fair and true. Money is always the reason even if they try to tell you it’s something else, it’s the money.
He could have / should have. He didn't care enough. He is not squeaky clean in this mess.
I agree, I’m just choosing my words carefully as to not damage the message and/or any good the show has done.
I’m still confused. Did she go to jail for stalking Gaad or not?
No. She got a restraining order, as did he.
Ok. I wonder if any of these events go against the order
I'm sure I saw an interview with Gadd, who said she didn't get a custodial sentence, just a restraining order irl. This part was made up for the series.
I'm sure I saw and interview with Gadd who said she didn't get a custodial sentence just a restraining order irl. This part was made up for the series.
Thanks for clearing that up
No she didn’t get a restraining order or go to jail. Gadd said he never reported her irl. The police station scenes in the show were for dramatic purposes.
Never reported her st all? So all the police scenes are basically imagined?
This should never have been promoted as "a true story". That wording was a choice. It just makes me wonder what else was made up or happened to someone else
I'm sure I saw an interview with Gadd, who said she didn't get a custodial sentence, just a restraining order irl. This part was made up for the series.
I really believe if Martha/Fiona were less of a narcissist, I'd be very concerned with the possibility of her committing suicide. But instead, she is in her element and reveling in it.
Did anyone else physically cringe from moments in the show? It was like a train wreck I couldn't look away from.
We're all being worked. This is all a viral promotion for the sequel.
I obviously don't really believe what I've typed above, but it seems more probable than the reality We're actually seeing.
ACCOUNTABILITY... SPEAKS VOLUMES!!! 🙄😑😖🙆🙈 JS
Just leaving this here.. ☝️
(from a mentally abused victim since birth, of multiple rape(S) huge traumas, Etc)
Yucky?