Singer Jimmy Wayne turns trauma into inspiring book

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The last weekend in September was a weekend of old ghosts for Jimmy Wayne.

He performed Friday night at his alma mater, Gaston College in Dallas, N.C. From the stage, the country singer saw his former grade school guidance counselor, Cindy Ballard; his criminal justice instructor, Don Lawrence; and his sister and niece.

"Being there, I thought, 'Who would have ever thought I would graduate from college?' " he said.

The next day, Wayne sped down a familiar stretch of road between the airport in Little Rock, Ark., and his Saturday night gig an hour away in Hot Springs, Ark.

In 2010, the then chart-topping country singer traveled that same road on foot. It was part of the seven-month, 1,700-mile walk he made from Nashville to Phoenix to raise awareness of at-risk and homeless youths. He remembers Hot Springs as the town where someone stole his suitcase and all of his clothes.

But reliving one weekend of jarring memories was nothing compared with the emotional upheaval of writing his autobiography, "Walk to Beautiful." With the help of New York Times best-selling author and Franklin resident Ken Abraham, Wayne went into great detail of why it was so surprising that he graduated college and the reasons he felt compelled to walk halfway across the country in 2010.

"Walk to Beautiful: The Power of Love and a Homeless Kid Who Found the Way" will be available online and in stores Tuesday.

The book is an unabashed yet inspirational look at Wayne's life. Growing up, the "Do You Believe Me Now" singer was in and out of foster homes and slept in abandoned buildings and in the woods. His mother split her time among husbands, boyfriends, jail and the psychiatric ward. When she was home, Wayne said, they lived in squalor surrounded by drug-fueled sex parties that often ended in violence.

And his problems didn't end there. He recalled being so hungry he had to steal food. On numerous occasions as a child, he said, he watched as people were murdered. He was nearly molested. Wayne survived a shootout in a trailer park. When he was 14, after returning from a group facility for troubled boys, Wayne's mother brought home a 19-year-old woman so Wayne could have sex with her.

"Sometimes, as writers, it feels like you're taking a knife and scraping a wound that hasn't had the chance to heal yet," Abraham said. "That was the case with Jimmy."

Early in the process, Abraham said, he thought Wayne's recollections were too outlandish and severe to be real. But Abraham said that every time the singer sensed his skepticism, Wayne called others who corroborated his story.

"I learned really quickly that everything he said was true, and if anything, he underestimated," Abraham said. "It was amazing to me just to be able to go through (his journals and mementos) and realize this guy wasn't just telling his story, he was baring his soul."

EARLY GOODBYE

The book follows Wayne from his first memory — being abandoned by his mother at 3 years old. Thirty-eight years later, Wayne vividly recalls watching his mother being driven away in a taxi. Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" played on the radio as she yelled out the window for him to get back in the grass at the trailer park.

Wayne wrote it was the "type of goodbye that set the stage for the rest of my life."

Because of her mental illness, his mother was never able to provide Wayne and his older sister, Patricia, with a stable home life. As a result, his sister was married at 14, and Wayne spent time in detention, in group homes and on the street. For a while, he lived with his grandfather, and while Wayne doesn't remember that being an easy experience, he does credit the old man with teaching him a work ethic.

"He didn't give me anything," Wayne said. "He taught me to work, which taught me to survive, which kept me out of trouble, which let me know there were more ways to make money than dealing drugs and doing other illegal things. Just go wash somebody's windows, cut their grass. It gives you a little pride."

Wayne's lack of stability meant he was constantly on the move, which made it hard for him to build relationships and go to school. He met Cindy Ballard in the seventh grade. She was the guidance counselor at Highland Junior High, a small inner-city school in Gastonia, N.C.

Today, Wayne refers to her as his "life coach and savior."

"I didn't have a good feeling about his family moving so quickly," said Ballard, now retired. "I kept praying about it, 'God, please send him back here.' And in ninth grade, he came walking back in. When he did, I was waiting on him."

Ballard said Wayne wasn't used to "being on anybody's radar," and she was able to help him get his education back on track. As the school year drew to a close, Wayne's home life deteriorated again and he was faced with changing schools. Ballard drove 45 minutes out of her way every morning to pick him up and bring him back to class at Highland Junior High.

"Our principal's philosophy was, 'Correction does much, but encouragement does more,' " Ballard said. "We have so many kids from horrible situations, and when you're there at ground level and you see what they're going through, you give it everything you can to help. Jimmy was so amazed when somebody reached out that it really made a big difference."

HELPING HANDS

Later that summer, Wayne met Bea and Russell Costner. He started doing lawn maintenance for the elderly couple, who are now deceased. They opened their home to him, and Wayne maintains they saved his life.

When he started playing in a band, another pivotal moment in his life, Bea Costner came to every show and read her Bible. While he did perform at talent contests in bars, Wayne never played honky-tonks like many other country singers.

"Having Bea on the front row reading her Bible to me … pretty much set the stage for the kind of music I was going to sing for the rest of my life," he said. "And it wasn't party songs."

The singer eventually moved to Nashville and got a record deal. He had hits with songs including "Stay Gone," "I Love You This Much" and "Do You Believe Me Now," which was a three-week No. 1 in 2008.

Wayne set out on his 1,700-mile trek, dubbed Meet Me Halfway, in 2010. The idea was that he would walk the equivalent of halfway across the United States to raise awareness and show at-risk youths and homeless teens that there was hope. During the walk, he was notified by e-mail that he was dropped from his record deal. Wayne said he still doesn't understand why.

He finished the journey on a broken foot and when he got home that August, he didn't know what to do next. He paired with Nashville Songwriters Hall of Famer Pat Alger, and the two wrote a concept album around his walk. Then he took his story and his music on the road as a combination of country music and inspirational speaking.

A while later, something told him to sit down and start writing his personal story. Within four months, Wayne had a publishing deal and made contact with Abraham.

About 15 months later, "Walk to Beautiful" was complete.

"It's one of those stories about how a community got involved and had an effect on a person's life," Wayne said. "And the person represents many people in the community, whether it's a criminal or a foster kid or an abused person or a lost soul."

He and Abraham agree that it is particularly important for teachers, social workers and others who work with at-risk youths and children in the foster system to take the time to read the book.

"It will help them understand why their job is so important," Wayne said. "My story is not any different than the kid they are dealing with today."

Wayne said his mother is still unstable but calls their relationship "good." He hopes one day "Walk to Beautiful" will be made into a major motion picture.

Earlier this year, Wayne was able to celebrate a "full circle" moment. He bought his uncle's old property in North Carolina where he lived several times as a youth. It's where his grandfather taught him the value of work. Later, his uncle let him sleep in an abandoned trailer there with no electricity or running water.

"There's so many memories there about sleeping outside and being hungry and, now, look where I'm at in my life," Wayne said. "It's just such an amazing metaphor of it's not where you've been, it's where you're going."