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Is the order of "your friend and you" or "you and your friend" in a question important?

In English we often say that it is grammatically correct to say "My friend and I" or "My friend and me" instead of "Me and my friend." Does the same apply to the order in questions?

For example, would one of these sentences be grammatically correct and the other wrong, or is there no difference:

  1. "Did you and your friend go see the movie?"

  2. "Did your friend and you go see the movie?"

Thank you!

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The only instance I’ve heard people discourage ”me and my friend” is when they think it inappropriate or impolite to put yourself first, which is clearly nonsensical. Of course, if you specifically want to emphasize one or the other, you do that as necessary. If not, order matters little.

That said, I find sentence 1 sounds better phonaesthetically, so that’s what I’d use by default.

u/jack_fucking_gladney avatar

Both of them are grammatically correct, but as u/Eliderad pointed out, the first one sounds more natural. As for why it sounds more natural--I'm not sure. I don't think that that's something we were explicitly taught in school. (That is, there was never some ridiculous Always Put Yourself First in a Question Rule.) But if it feels more natural grammatically, there must be a reason that English prefers the first sentence. I'm curious to hear others' thoughts.

u/thundahstruck avatar
Edited

My ear doesn't distinguish between OP's sentences. It does distinguish if I is involved, e.g., my friend and I versus I and my friend.

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