This subreddit is a community-oriented place for stepparents from all walks of life. Commiserate with others in similar situations, celebrate your wins, and hang out with people who just get it. It doesn't matter whether you've got a fun story or are at the end of your rope; we are family.
Vent
Spoiler alert, I’m not the second mom.
HCBM got remarried to a woman and good for her for finding herself. Anyway, SK9 constantly refers to themself as having “two moms” since even before they were married.
FH and HCBM have about 50/50 custody, FH is a wonderful and active father and I have been in SK’s life only about a year less than HCBM’s wife (over 3 years). Their parenting contract explicitly says that both parents must not allow or encourage SK to call a nonbio mom or dad and this would be a HUGE issue if SK were to ever refer to me as that, even if it was an accident. My gut tells me that HCBM started this and sees this as a loophole because SK is not directly referring to other SM as “mom” but at the same time gets to make it seem in public like FH and I don’t even exist. It feels petty to be upset about, and I know it probably just irks me because I’m being excluded, but I just can’t stop being upset about it. Mine and SK’s as well as mine and FH’s relationship have really been tampered with by HCBM and it really makes it hard to continue doing this with a smile when it feels like I am consistently reminded by SK that I am nothing, even if that’s not the intention SK has when saying it. With Mother’s Day this especially got to me because he went and celebrated with his “two moms.” How do I let this go???
Please keep in mind that this is barely scratching the surface and not why I’m referring to BM as HC.
Sort by:
Best
Open comment sort options
Best
Top
New
Controversial
Old
Q&A
Welcome to r/stepparents! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is Kindness Matters. Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.
We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. Please use the report button to ensure we see it. We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here.
If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please reach out to the mod team.
Review the wiki links below for the rules, FAQ and announcements before posting or commenting.
About | Acronyms | Announcements | Documentation | FAQ | Resources | Rules | Saferbot - Autoban Information
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.