90 Songs About Being Used or Taken Advantage Of

Author:
Elaina Baker
Updated:
May 11, 2024 6:36 AM EDT

"Don't give everything to a person who isn't giving you anything." - Sonya Parker, American author
Liza Summer via Pexels, Free Domain, modified by FlourishAnyway

Asymmetrical Relationships Are for the Birds

I'm surprised sometimes at how lopsided or asymmetrical love relationships are. One partner seems to reap all of the benefits, and the other is the willing supplier.

Compare the situation to feeding birds (my apologies to my feathered friends). In the relationship, you supply a steady stream of resources—investments over time of food for the birds or emotional support, financial help, and/or physical intimacy for your significant other. They fly in for a bit, sing sweetly, and take what they need. After leaving a mess behind for you to deal with, away again they flit until they need more of what you offer. In the interim, they're likely making other pitstops because that's just what they do.

Now, don't go hating on the birds. They're just trying to survive, and the winters can be harsh. However, if the aforementioned description resembles your love relationship, you may have a partner who is taking advantage of you. While you process that sinking feeling, make a custom playlist about being used and manipulated in love relationships. We have a long list of pop, rock, country, and R&B songs to start you off.

1. "How Do You Sleep?" by Sam Smith.

A cheating partner is a recipe for crazy-making. When the guy in this heartrending 2020 pop ballad suspects his lover is stepping out on him, he grows suspicious and rifles through his significant other's phone, calling numbers he doesn't know. (Have you ever done that?) Apparently, the narrator's insecurity resonates with a lot of folks because the tune became a worldwide hit.

In a "look at what you made me do" moment, the narrator realizes that love has become just a game between them. All trust has evaporated. As the guy says goodbye, he hopes the betrayal will impact his partner as it has affected him:

Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
All that shame and all that danger
I'm hoping that my love will keep you up tonight.

2. "I Hate U, I Love U" by Gnash

When friends turn into lovers, relationships can get messy emotionally. That's what the two people in this 2016 pop ballad learn. After lies and secrets, they've moved on officially but still carry a toxic burn for each another. Both feel a mixture of love and hate, and the guy tells his ex, "If I pulled a 'you' on you, you wouldn't like that." So painful.

3. "I Have Questions" by Camila Cabello

Feeling used, played for a fool, and ultimately abandoned, the inquisitive girl in this 2017 pop tune second guesses whether her ex-lover ever truly cared for her. Theirs is an asymmetric kind of love. He enjoys the power in the relationship and she accepts fault for what went wrong. Seems fair, right? Girl, stop trying to fix his type of "broken."

4. "You Ruin Me" by The Veronicas

Australian pop duo The Veronicas takes on the role of a woman who has been emotionally stripped bare by a two-timing man. The narrator in this mournful, slow-tempo ballad has been devastated by the planned psychological destruction that her partner's infidelity has produced. Unforgiving, the woman hopes he found his affair worth all the pain he caused because she won't be there when he comes to his senses.

5. "Hustle" by Pink

In this sassy "don't f*ck with me" anthem, pop star Pink calls out a former flame who took advantage of her. The 2019 hit shoots a fires a warning across the bow that although he may have used her once, it surely won't happen again:

6. "Layla" by Derek and the Dominos

This classic 1971 rock tune was inspired by a 7th century Arabic tale in which a young man falls desperately in love with a girl he cannot marry. As a result of his unrequited love, the poor guy goes crazy. It was further prompted by Eric Clapton's real life obsessive love for model Pattie Boyd, wife of his friend, Beatle George Harrison. Clapton later married Boyd.

The iconic ditty was heralded by Rolling Stone as one of "The 500 Greatest Rock Songs of All Time." It features a forlorn narrator who has been brought to his knees by a vixen who turned his world upside down. The married woman is playing him for a fool. Even so, he begs to be with her, knowing she'll use him right up.

7. "Nights Like This" by Kehlani (Featuring Ty Dolla $ign)

There's a lover's triangle going down in this 2019 R&B hit involving a guy and two bisexual girls. The female narrator laments that she and her former love interest had an unhealthy, fractured relationship because of the girlfriend's deceptiveness. Even though her partner made her feel worthless and took her for granted, she's still having trouble moving on. The guy chimes in, in agreement, calling out the woman for taking advantage of him as well. Some people are just serial users.

8. "Grenade" by Bruno Mars

When it comes to romance, there are givers and takers, and unfortunately, Bruno Mars has latched on to a first-class taker in this worldwide 2010 smash hit. As he belts out this R&B pop crossover song, the musician second-guesses himself for getting involved with her. He's so convincing because he bases it on personal experience.

Despite the narrator's utter devotion and willingness to prove his commitment, his cruel-hearted girlfriend is emotionally rejecting:

Tell the devil I said 'hey' when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman
That's just what you are,
Yeah, you'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car... .

9. "Mean It" by Lauv & LANY

If you've ever been someone's backup lover (i.e., their second choice or side chick), then you can identify with the message of this 2019 pop song. The narrator is tired of being taken advantage of. His lover plays mind games, builds him up just to let him down, and treats him both hot and cold. He's tired of empty promises and yearns to mean more.

10. "I'm Your Puppet" by James & Bobby Purify

When you're madly in love you can become a puppet on a string, like the lovesick guy in this 1966 R&B pop crossover tune. All his sweetheart has to do is say "jump," and he'll ask, "How high?" He's a boytoy, and her every wish is his command. However, there's a fine line to be walked between loving attentiveness and being used.

11. "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri

When an old flame comes back around wanting to rekindle their passion, the woman in this 2010 pop ballad demands, "Who do you think you are?" She's afraid to get involved again after the damage he inflicted on her heart the first go-around. The cold-hearted lover left her heart scarred and stole the sparkle from her eyes. Recovery was lengthy, and now that the narrator has grown stronger, she refuses to go back. Manipulator be gone!

12. "Dear John" by Taylor Swift

Singer-songwriter John Meyer was 12 years Taylor Swift's senior and had a reputation as a player. Swift started dating him at the tender age of 19. Their romance lasted only three months — long enough for her to feel taken advantage of. Of course, the country-turned-pop princess wrote a cathartic song about her heartbreak. Meyer reported feeling "humiliated" by it and called Swift "mean" for writing the song.

The savage ditty describes the ex-lover as "an expert at sorry and keeping things blurry," then she blames him for a terrible lack of judgment in dating her in the first place:

Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so?

In spite of the hints that allude to Meyer's identity, Swift has never actually confirmed that the song is about him. A "Dear John letter" is an idiom that refers to a breakup letter, oftentimes because one has found another lover.

13. "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake

Sometimes those who are taken advantage of get the last laugh. In the early 2000s pop stars Brittney Spears and Justin Timberlake were the "it" couple, dating for two-and-a-half-years. Their love affair came to a sudden halt, however, when Spears hooked up with a prominent choreographer, and the couple broke up.

Cashing in on their painful breakup, the former NSYNC artist released this scorching tell-all ballad. The 2002 pop song is pure vengeance, calling Spears out for the way she lied, stepped out on him, and broke his trust. According to the single, she burned bridges and there's no going back regardless of how hard she cries.

12 Signs Your Significant Other Is Using or Taking Advantage of You

If your partner is exhibiting some of these signs of manipulating or using you, then it may be time to re-evaluate your choice of partner.
Your significant other isn't willing to publicly acknowledge or define your relationship	They don't pull their weight in the relationship. They don't put in much effort (e.g., special occasions, showing affection).	Conversations are one-sided, and you consistently play the supportive, listening role.
Your significant other breaks down your self-confidence. Compliments are few. Sarcasm and harsh criticism are plenty.	They have low empathy for you. Your opinions are dismissed. You don't feel valued. You find yourself apologizing a lot.	"No" isn't an option. If needed, your significant other uses guilt trips and pestering to get what they need.
Their relationship focus is primarily sexual.	Your significant other uses your fears and insecurities to get what they want.	They break their promises. They are unfaithful.
They don't solicit your opinion with decisions. They make important decisions themselves.	They treat others better than they treat you.	They can't pay their bills and consistently rely on you for help.

"You can't always be nice. That's how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries." - Ritu Ghatourey, Indian author

14. "Use Me" by Bill Withers

At least the guy in this 1972 soul-pop tune is candid about what motivates him to stay with a woman who mistreats him. Talk about a toxic relationship.

Friends tried to talk sense into him. No deal. His brother tried to sit him down and warn him that he was being walked all over by the woman he loved. That also did not work. She treats him rudely, yet he keeps coming back for more:

Yes, I wanna spread the news
That if it feels this good gettin' used
Oh, you just keep on usin' me
Until you use me up.

15. "Letdown" by This Providence

At the hands of a sexy she-devil, the narrator in this 2009 alternative rock ditty puts up with verbal and emotional abuse. The tattooed temptress offers him cheap sex then taunts him and breaks his spirit: