25 Quotes from 'Home Alone' That'll Give You the Belly Laughs
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
It’s the mad dash of the holiday season, and your to-do list is slightly overwhelming, but you’re trying to make the most of it. You've gone crazy in the Christmas gift wrap, and your gifts look like they've been professionally wrapped. You’re marking things off the kids' Christmas gifts lists at record speed. You're knocking it out of the park with funny Elf on the Shelf ideas.
But after a night of jingling and mingling at your company holiday party, it’s time to take a breath. You can settle in for a day of binge watching the best Christmas movies on Disney+—including one of our absolute favorites, the cult classic Home Alone. Kevin teaches us how to survive on our own with the essentials—aftershave, macaroni and cheese, an ADA-approved toothbrush, a blow torch, and fabric softener. And all the traps the Wet Bandits fall into make us cringe and laugh out loud at the same time!
So even though it may be special Christmas quotes or Christmas Bible verses that you'll read around your table, take some time to enjoy some of our favorite quotes from this hilarious movie, too. And if you want to keep the belly laughs going check out some of our favorite quotes from Christmas Vacation and quotes from the movie Elf.
Kevin
"Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I was making ornaments out of fishhooks."
Harry
"All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage."
Brooke McCallister
"Mom, does Santa Clause have to go through customs?"
Kevin
"I don't want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed."
Linnie McCallister
"You're what the French call 'les incompetents.'"
Leslie McCallister
"Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi."
Kevin
"Guys! I'm eating junk and watching rubbish. You better come out and stop me!"
Kevin
"Buzz! Your girlfriend. Woof!"
Kevin
"I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap...including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed."
Kevin
"This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house."
Kevin
"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?"
Marv
"Harry, it's our calling card! All the great ones leave their marks. We're the wet bandits!"
Buzz McCallister
"Beat that you little trout sniffer."
Kevin
"Oh, wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate!"
Uncle Frank
"Get outta here you nosy little pervert, or I'm gonna slap you silly!"
Harry
"Merry Christmas little fella. We know that you're in there and that you're all alone."
Kevin
"Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."
Gangster Johnny
"Hey, I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!... 1... 2... 10! Keep the change, ya filthy animal!"
Kevin
"This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone."
Marv
"American don't fly to the promised land, little buddy."
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