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My (now ex) fiancé is an alcoholic. We've been together for 8 years. I've finally reached my limit and am leaving him. It's tearing me apart. I still think he's the love of my life but I need to put our child first.
I have supported him through so much and every time he drinks he ridicules me until I cry and calls me names and blames me for all his problems. He calls me a cruel and abusive person. He accuses me of loving to see him suffer and getting off on it when I stand my ground. The days after he drinks he's miserable and angry and ashamed and lashes out even more. He refuses to even see our child and locks himself away. Currently we're at day 4 of him not even sitting with our child for 5 minutes to play. A milestone was reached today that I'm so excited about but he doesn't care.
He was doing so good for so long. He did AA weekly. Met with his sponsor regularly. Started even sponsoring other people. I don't know what triggered this but he's worse than ever now. His sponsor told me that he thinks my fiance doesn't actually want to be sober anymore. That he's been lying to both his sponsor and their group. And he even said it's probably best if I leave him.
I know in the long run this is for the best. I grew up with a parent who was an addict and I swore I would never let my children go through what I did. It's so hard to come to terms with though. I have to cancel my dream wedding, sell my house and move, and worst of all my child doesn't get the family I always hoped for, where 2 parents love and support each other.
The worst part is losing my best friend. I miss his laugh. I don't even remember the last time I heard it.
This is so hard. I feel like my life is falling apart.
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It’s very hard. Seem like a lot of good reasons to separate. When I was living with my Q, I just felt like I was constantly living within a cloud of negativity and deceit and sickness. (And yet I still miss her!) I will say though that his sponsor shouldn’t really be giving you advice about your life. Not his place at all.
I swear I could have wrote this same thing word for word!!! I had to finally leave my Q after 11 long tough years. He wasn’t gonna change and I also would not let our daughter have to be around the constant chaos. I try to let him see her once a week but not if he is drunk and unfortunately most of the time he is. I’ve let go of my fantasy of him changing and it has brought me so much peace. It will get easier for you and for me personally I’m so glad I left
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I hate this guy. Glad you're getting away from him. Good riddance. Your future self says THANK YOU!! You'll be alright.
Love isn’t a reason to stay.
It really isn’t. It’s not enough.
You can love someone and also realize that they’re not good for you and your life. You can recognize that they’re toxic, not an equal partner, and not capable of being in a healthy relationship.
You can love someone but also love yourself enough to choose to leave.
They’re weak and pathetic and deserve nothing but contempt.