Unicom is a powerful organization overseeing most of the world after its economic collapse. They have banned computers and robots in an attempt to insure "life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic stability". When a Unicom Synth robot infiltrates a southwest TV station and kills the manager, a revolutionary against the gestapo-like corporation, a lowly Unicom delivery man must help the rest of the station survive through the incoming "thermal storm".
Kampf der Roboter, Steel Robot 3, Steel Robot - Teil 3 - Das Finale, Synthoïd 2030, Οι Κυρίαρχοι, Robot Jox, Destrucción Total, Program: zniszczenie, Distruzione totale, Pusztíts és rombolj!, 拦截终结者
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Mech graveyards, like the ones in Starfield? Synths that look just like people infiltrating humanity, as seen in Fallout 4? Someone back in Bethesda apparently is using Crash and Burn as their creative Bible!
But if you forget that the title references a saying from Robot Jox - this is not a sequel, and if you ignore the cool Mech on the cover, since this is absolutely not a Mech fighting movie, you might be able to enjoy the story that is here - a wasteland broadcast station in which a group of strangers are huddled to weather a storm while a synth - robot that appears human - is killing them off. There's a schoolteacher (Eva LaRue), two prostitutes…
Murder, She Robot
Starring Bill Mosely as Arnold Schwarzenegger
Written by M. Night Shyamalan
Not to say that ‘Robot Jox’ is some sort of cult masterpiece: but fer this movie to use that film’s catchphrase as its title — is exponentially hilarious.
Especially, since there’s so lil’ crashing and/or burning in it.
That aside, there’s some decent social commentary/satire here to impress Paul Verhoeven — even with the lack of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.
Ps. Megan Ward is, like, unreasonably good in this.
[Watched on Tubi.]
Whatever you say, Your Assholiness.
This may contain traces of giant robots, but it's mostly a boiler room movie. At least there's some quality scenery chewing from Bill Moseley.
This is selling itself as a giant robot movie but it's actually just trying to be the Thing with a couple of minutes featuring a giant robot tacked on to the end. It's boring and the stopmotion robot stinks. A definite skip.
So my bf was like 'I watched 15 mins of this terrible scifi movie but I saved it for u because it's trash garbage like u like' and I was like ok
then realized not only was this a Full Moon but one I used to beg my mom to rent for me when I was in fifth grade, because the actress on the cover looked like a teen Linda Hamilton in her pink henley & suspenders & my mom looked at the 'brief nudity' rating and was like no fucking way
(in reality the cute girl was a decade older than me, but tell that to bi pre-teen me)
anyway he would not belive me the maintenence guy was the robot…
Crash and Burn (1990) is another Full Moon Feature I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows civilization as we know it after an economic collapse. An organization known a UNICORN has emerged to safe civilization by banning all technology. When a news station is attacked by a robot killing news casters on air, the survivors in the news room will try to avoid the robot and uncover what happened and why.
This movie is directed by Charles Band (Puppetmaster) and stars Paul Ganus (Lethal Weapon 3), Megan Ward (Encino Man), Ralph Waite (The Bodyguard), Bill Moseley (Night of the Living Dead) and Eva LaRue (Robocop 3).
The storyline for this had some potential but dragged. The film spent too…
Unicom courier, Tyson, is sent to deliver some freon to the folks at the underground television station when a 'thermal' (storm?) traps him there! Suddenly, there's a killer on the loose killing!!! ...and a giant robot.
Also, it's post apocalyptic times... Bring your sunscreen!
So, look at our poster here... We've got Tyson and Arren - and a dude shooting - and what else? A giant robot! We get literally about 2-minutes of giant robot in this movie. Does this poster make it look like YOU GET TWO FUCKING MINUTES OF GIANT FUCKING ROBOT? WITH ONLY TWO MINUTES OF GIANT FUCKING ROBOT DOES THIS MOVIE BELONG IN A MOVIE SET CALLED 'GIANT ROBOT ACTION PACK' THAT COST ME FUCKING $3.33?…
the previews for this thing said there’d be giant robots. but there aren’t. not until the last ten minutes anyway. until then this is a supercheap rustbucket gloss on “Ten Little Indians” with characters repeatedly wandering off by themselves to get whacked by a testy cyborg dude. it’s pretty stupid and I think I need to take a break from Full Moon stuff for a good long while.
"Ok, so lets market the movie like Robotjox and instead film the whole thing in a derelict office building on the cheap and keep the expensive robot effects limited to two minutes at the very end of the movie."
And you know what? It wasn't half bad.
The world in which Robot Jox took place in was a dark, uncertain world with little hope but hey at least they had giant robots! Well, enough time has passed and now we don't even have those.
Early in the movie you see a shell of one of the robots and it's like oh hey remember that fun little movie? Well we still had the prop so we dropped it in this movie and put it on the poster to lead unsuspecting movie store renters to believe this might have some giant robot action (it does not, but the thing does briefly walk during the climax).
This is actually a murder mystery with some corporate espionage ala Alien that takes place in a desolate facility where someone is murdering a crew of people hiding out from the harsh climate. It's rather boring until Bill Moseley goes full on crazy and the cyborg makeup is pretty good.
Watched ahead of the Crash and Burn/Robot Wars episode of the Puppet Masters, Castle Freaks podcast. (I watched Robot Wars as a kid so I could write a Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary track to it, lol.) This one’s kind of slight but man, the nuts and bolts competence (no pun intended) of Full Moon productions in this era is so satisfying. Seems like screenwriter J. S. Cardone of Shadowzone was a real ringer. Be warned: The transfer on Tubi is pretty bad quality and renders some of the darker scenes kind of illegible. Maybe the version on Full Moon’s dedicated streaming service is better.
