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I’m not usually one to follow celeb news but I’ve been seeing the Joe Jonas / Sophie Turner divorce news everywhere. Apparently she wanted to wait to have kids, but he pushed her to get pregnant when she was only 23, and now that she had the audacity to go back to work after putting her career on pause for four years to birth and care for their kids, his team spread the false narrative that she’s an inattentive mother who abandoned their kids because he has to take care of them for once.
Thankfully no one believes that BS but this poor woman has her whole life ahead of her, she’s only 27, and instead she’s getting divorced after 4 years and 2 kids she wasn’t ready to have.
Obviously it takes two to tango but Joe is 34 and she was so young when they got married. I know she has money and support and will be ok, but it makes me think about all the people in bad relationships who give in to having kids when they aren’t ready or don’t want them.
Sometimes I feel some type of way about being 30 and single and right now all I’m feeling is thankful!
ETA: grammar / spelling fixes
I hope she'll make the right decision for herself and not feel pressured to do anything. Why is it a default that children should stay with their mother after divorce? If Joe wanted them so much, why doesn't he take them...
Did you see the video of the lady that gave the dad full custody and he couldn’t handle it? She filed for child support after he abandoned her and he fought for full custody to avoid paying CS so she gave it to him. He made a video whining that she doesn’t want to take the kid.
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Every time that gets posted somewhere I read it in its entirety to revel in the satisfaction it gives me.
He was bleating about her going to the gym and how hard it was being a single parent. Did the whole 'wah, I thought she'd bond with it and change her mind and want to raise it together'
I stan her so bad. I want to be in that woman's fan club.
I've never met that woman but I can safely say I love her for that perfection.
That thread was a thing of beauty.
Even in the best marriages, where a man says he will help, he barely does 50%. If you ask him, he's doing great and helping. Thankfully some women are smartening up and expecting more and calling out the father.
Poor man. He has to spend time with his children. 🙄
"well buddy you could've had an abortion and been happy and free, too"
My respect is very high, she made a decision and stuck with it, good job lady!!
Oh yeah, but the extremely fucked up part is that this whole thing was him trying to force her into a relationship with him.
Him having sex with her while she was drunk, forcing her to keep the baby by even getting her parents in on it. Expecting her to choose to bond with both him and the baby because of this. But she stood by what she said and fucking bounced.
Him trying to get her to interact with the kid now is STILL about him trying to leverage everything he can to claw his way into her life. It is so absolutely fucked.
A rare case where baby trapping didn't work! I applaud that woman
Yeah, he was an absolute abusive predator. Which makes the absolute failure even more glorious.
Where did this happened? Any link? I wanna read about it. Thank in advanced
“Deadbeat dads” are the ones who rack up tens of thousands of dollars in unpaid child support. She’s paying 125%. What, he can’t afford childcare with that money?
I always feel bad for women who don’t want to become “single moms” by leaving a shitty spouse. Life hack: leave the kids with him (he - and probably his mother - are the ones that wanted them anyway) and you never have to worry about that!
If men can escape the “baby trap”, so can women! And use the rhetoric against them while doing it - these kids “belong to you” - they have your last name and all - and you’re the one who wants to “continue your bloodline, so, have at ye and good riddance to you all!”
Another opportunity to prove that women can do anything a man can!
But then those poor kids are trapped with a shitty father. God damnit I wish people would stop having kids only to find out it's hard and fucking them up in the process
What happens if both parents don't want custody of the kid..? I've always sort of wondered that. Usually you hear about parents fighting for custody but what if both are trying to give full custody to the other and neither want it? I really wonder how the court would handle that. 🤔
On another note, I never understood why the kid always gets the man’s last name after all that hard labour growing and delivering the child by the woman. Makes no sense.
One of my favorite comment sections EVER.
Yeah, it was glorious.
I love that woman sm. And that man’s stupidity was delicious, do feel bad for the kid that they’re stuck with such a total shit tho. But that’s on the dad, if u can rlly call him that.
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Most of the time it's not even a secret. Many men do not expect their lives to change significantly.
So many men (women too, but in this case, a man) want to get the kids because they're petty and want to "win" by taking something from the woman.
Once they've "won" the thrill of "winning" dies and they're left with all this responsibilty. And clearly they don't want any real responsibility if they're still at the, "Men and women are battling each other and men must win!" stage in life.
Which unfortunately too many men never grow out of...
Paying over and above CS is not the definition of deadbeat. She just isn’t upholding the expectation he has for her. Lots of men want kids but when the chips are down they don’t want to parent.
😂😂 i remember that one.
The part that always gets me with that story is her paying the child support and him still complaining about it. Sorry, but that's not a deadbeat. There are tons of single parents that WISH they were getting child support.
No, but now I want too see it. 👀Do you have a link?
There it is! Apprently he didn’t want her to get an abortion when she got pregnant then he abandoned her to raise the kid herself. She filed for CS and he went for full custody. Even while they were co parenting he kept scheduling appointment on her day with the kid so he can keep seeing her. She finally got tired of it all and told him to keep the baby full time. He came online to cry. https://x.com/lacienegablvdss/status/1696505070416794100?s=46&t=dhPTnf7-1qkfk-xPh5ulDw
Claims he won’t get in the way of the mother seeing the kid if she wants to, but won’t force the kid to see her if kid doesn’t want to, but then sits and does a rant infront of the kid about how unwanted he is? That’s totally not going to impact the child is it 🤦♀️
Love the 'player' tshirt he's wearing. I bet he's not such a player anymore lol. F'd around and he found out.
Poor kid but hahahah, sucks to suck for that asshole. He left his pregnant fiance to fend for herself jesus Christ!
Why is his blinker on the whole time 😂
I am LIVING for all the comments on his video!! Everyone is calling him out lmfaoooo!!! So many are even saying “welcome to motherhood” lol!
Man baby crying over the consequences of his actions poor child though
I don't understand why this woman let this circus get her pregnant even by accident. I can't believe he was charming enough for her to let him have sex with her.
Is that video of the actual guy who posted in r/offmychest or whatever it was complaining that he got "stuck" being a single dad after the woman he got pregnant gave up all her parental rights?? If so, that's the best FAFO post of all time.
BEEP (I want to come back after work and see this
Damn I have to look for it. Let me try and check
Just saw it on Instagram the other day. Makes me grateful to be childfree
I was just having a convo with some mums about this, do it! Give the men full custody, get a job or pay support. 90% of them will crack in 18 months.
The funny thing is the man was told to pay CS of 160 per month! And he decided to fight it
Do you have a link or the title of the video? I haven't seen that one. The audacity of these people.
Look at my later comment. I posted it.
I saw that, what a piece of shit. To make things worse, he made that video with the kid in the background. Kid gets to hear dad talk about how much he doesn't want him, and mom ain't around cause dad drove her away.
... or at least take them for a week at a time. You wanted them, buddy, here they are. Call me on Sunday.
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When my parents got divorced I think they spent longer arguing about who was getting the family car than who as getting me.
List of possessions
one detached house
one 1978 BMW 528
one washing machine
one eleven year old snot nosed brat
Hayden Panettiere relinquished custody to her ex husband. There's at least one female celeb who did this. The child lives overseas though. I don't think Hayden cares for her on a regular basis.
Just because she was pressured into having those kids doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve custody (if that’s what she wants).
I keep seeing snippets basically amounting to "Joe Jonas' team is pointing out how he's had to be the SOLE CAREGIVER for his OWN children for like, three months OMG" as though that's not EXACTLY what would be expected of Sophie if he was touring? And I'm pretty sure is actually what has happened for most of their marriage? How come nobody is coming for him leaving their kids with her for however long? Oh, right, because it's a double standard. Plus there's no way he as a celebrity doesn't have a metric assload of help, it's not like he's likely to be doing any of this totally solo.
And yeah, I do feel for her, a lot. She was/is really young and it sounds like she was pretty isolated from her family during their marriage. I don't always have the most patience when people are like "THEY DESERVE WHAT THEY GET FOR MAKING THIS CHOICE, THEY'RE ADULTS", like sure, technically 23 is an adult but it's also YOUNG. AND that's not factoring in societal conditioning and pressure which we pretend for whatever reason ISN'T still really powerful? Sure, it's a construct, but social norms are powerful and the pressure can be very difficult to fight, especially when you're still figuring yourself out. We don't all get the luxury of having those ingrained views challenged or questioned or changed before you're put in a position where you have kids. I was super lucky nothing put me in that situation before I sorted out what I really wanted!
Ideally yeah we'd all feel free to just say no from the jump or learn exactly what we want with ALL the information we need but a lot of the messaging still hammered into people can make that difficult and confusing, and I have trouble faulting someone for that. Blame societal norms, not the people trapped in them. ADD TO THAT, being isolated with a spouse you care about and are in love with is going to make it a lot harder to ignore said pressure and walk away - how is that her fault and not his for pushing her into it? Shit, I've seen people on here who are heartbroken and question things when a spouse changes their mind, and some commenters act like you should just emotionlessly cut the cord with no struggle and that's that or there's something wrong with you. She loved the guy and it sounded like he wore her down, she seemed to not have had a ton of support AND there was a fairly decent age gap. 7 years at that point in Sophie's life was a pretty sizeable power imbalance.
So yeah TLDR Joe is making himself look awful and I feel for Sophie and hope she can go back to the UK and her family if that's what she wants to do. And I hope their kids don't get caught in the middle of all this.
One of the snippets even mentioned Joe having to babysit the kids most of the time.
Excuse me? BABYSIT!? They’re your fucking kids!
OOOOH I get so mad at that wording!! Like sorry you have to actually spend time with the family you pushed for??
He obviously wanted a stay at home mom to raise his babies while he got the Kodak moments. It pisses me off so much that he waited until she was filming in another country to break this story
How dare she want her own career and fulfillment outside the home 😭
He probably isn't even full time with his kids, am sure they have nannies for the messy stuff... So basically he wants what, not to even father his kids.
How do you babysit your kids *
"i had to hire a nanny BY MYSELF" wah
You have no idea how hard it is to email your personal assistant to hire a nanny for you /s
I guess to be fair it was probably really hard to have to half-assedly Google "nannies near me" and have his assistant take over and put in his credit card info /s
I was engaged and married younger than her and got pregnant. I remember sobbing when I found out, but my then husband was ecstatic, as well as everyone around me. I spent every single day after that utterly panicked all day every day. I had nightmares of motherhood and woke up soaked in sweat. I tried to convince myself that it was a good thing, that eventually the fear would subside and I’d start feeling excited or hopeful or something, but I didn’t. When I woke up in the middle of the night a few months in, cramping and bleeding, I knew I was miscarrying and I was so relieved. My husband and mom were next to me in the hospital utterly devastated by the loss while I had to reign in my joy, even despite the pain.
I felt guilty for feeling that relief for a long time, but if I’d have carried to term I’d have given birth and been utterly miserable, all in the name of adhering to others’ expectations of me.
I’m sorry you had to go through that ordeal as it sounds very stressful - specifically, being pregnant knowing it wasn’t what you truly wanted. I don’t know the socially correct decorum for “miscarrying also sounds like a fairly traumatic bodily and emotional experience overall but ultimately resulted in you not having to do something you didn’t want to do so it sounds like it was for the best”, but I’m really happy you weren’t put in a position you didn’t want to be in. I wish your family had been supportive and paid more attention to you and what you needed instead of prioritizing their own feelings. I can’t imagine being more upset about the loss of someone’s pregnancy than I would be worried about that person’s safety or wellbeing.
Thank you
Hey I am so sorry you had to go through this. You are not a bad person for feeling relieved that you miscarried. You miscarrying (don't take offence okay) actually spares the 'kid' from being born into this cruel world and who knows whatever untold miseries await for them
I hope you are in a better place now. What has happened to your then husband
He remarried a couple of years after we divorced, had two kids, and cheated on her. Even tried cheating on her with me at one point. He was gross then, 7 years my senior, and I’m sure he’s even grosser now. It’s a gift not to be tied to him for the rest of my life by anything more substantial than bad memories.
Good you dodged a bullet full of extra heartache and pain. I hate your ex very much now and I hope karma comes for him like a truck pancaking him. Shame on him cheating on his wife. I hope she divorces him already and he does not deserve to breed either
OMG, I was so relieved when I miscarried too. I was 22 at the time. I'm 44 now and so grateful, I didn't have a child with that ex. Or any ex for that matter. I'm a great auntie to my friends kids, but I'm so happy I never had to raise kids. I would have been a neurotic mess.
Edit: man, that hormone drop though! I was a blubbering mess until my cycle resumed.
she has been open to how vulnerable she was, her whole life was doing an intense show like GOT. She probably felt so validated by Joe’s love to her that she didn’t think twice before settling down. He was much older, he had pursued other famous beiatiful women (most of them younger too btw). she was forced to become a traditional wife while the rest of her friends were still young and free. I mean, I heard getting pregnant quite young is common in the UK (sadly) but she straight up got married, left the country and had to live in FLORIDA to raise the babies. No wonder she was miserable.
Arghhh it's so hard not to be argumentative when some people are being like "I don't feel sorry for an adult woman, 23 is an adult and anyone who says otherwise is infantilizing and invalidating her" like OKAY are we all going to sit here and pretend we were making completely sound judgments at 23?? NEVER MIND if some of us were also in similar toxic situations on top of just being that chaotic age, which a lot of young people will because...inexperience? It's so easy to get hooked into one of those and if you don't have the support and you're vulnerable, you can be totally fucked?? And then to be blamed for it if you end up totally fucked because you're an adult and you know what you're doing lmao if I was stuck in the situation I thought was good for me at 23 who knows if I'd even be around to be typing this right now.
I can look back on 19-25 year old me with a lot of compassion and ALSO be like "she knew absolutely nothing but she sure THOUGHT she did." I am grateful every day that I'm not bound to or judged by the choices I thought were good at 23 just because I was legally considered an adult. That is not infantilizing myself or anyone of that age, that is like...being pretty straightforward about how little I really did know because I hadn't experienced much yet relatively speaking. And I wouldn't be surprised if in a decade I felt the same way about present me. We're always learning and changing, hopefully, and it's SO common to be a freshly minted adult and think you have it all figured out. The "loud and wrong" phase, if you will. Most of us didn't, in fact, know as much as we thought and looking back it's evident. There's a reason at 17-21ish I thought it was NBD to feel validated by the interests of much older men because *I* was MATURE and knew my own mind better than those other kids my age, and I didn't need anyone checking up on me because I KNEW what I was doing and now I'm like UHMM PINEAPPLEPRINCESS YOU WERE A CHILD, HELL NO AND THOSE GUYS WERE SHADY AF. I really do feel for Sophie, like I'm sure she really did love him and it wasn't like she got coerced into being with him but I didn't get the sense he was always good for her or to her.
Yeah, I know what you're saying and feel this very hard.
Luckily for me I was never sucked in by an older man but Sheesh I was so much more naive at 23 than I am now in my mid thirties and it's not infantilising someone to acknowledge that they are young and more vulnerable than someone with more maturity and experience, particularly in romantic relationships.
7 years might not seem like a big age gap but to me there is a significant difference between people who are 30 and people who are 23. My youngest sister was 24 when I turned 30 and now she's turning 30 and she's hugely different and more mature now than she was then and she was already a pretty mature young person.
I know I'm way more mature and sure in myself now than I was 10 years ago.
She has been open about being homesick and wanting to raise her kids in the UK how she was. Joe basically was like no. I feel so sad for her that she could be forced to be in the US for custody if she wants a relationship with her children
The gross thing is she was 13 and he was late teens/ early 20s when he visited the GOT set and met her. Likely a lot of grooming occurring there on. Granted they probably weren’t dating at that point but i was thinking if I met one of the NKOTB when I was 13 I’d probably follow them across the world no questions asked, you don’t think logically at that age.
I think he was also pursuing 13 year old Gigi Hadid when he was 19… it’s a pattern with him. and then after he got Sophie settled down when she is still young, hot and famous he expected her to wait on him while he tours around being a rockstar.. who even stans the Jonas Brothers in 2023 lol
He’s hoping to make her look like a bad mother so he can get custody of the kids and keep them in the US. Then he’ll get a nanny to take care of them until he can find a new young wife who wants to stay home with his kids and make some new ones.
She’s overseas WORKING too
And I bet my left lung that he has hired help and family help
And if she had taken them with her? There would be no comment.
Joe is on tour at the moment. So his whining that he has to be Dad at home all the time right now doesn't even hold up. Unless he's dragging the kids with him on tour, which I highly doubt.
“Shit, I've seen people on here who are heartbroken and question things when a spouse changes their mind, and some commenters act like you should just emotionlessly cut the cord with no struggle and that's that or there's something wrong with you.”
Exactly! It always bothers me so much when people on here give that “immediate and permanent cutoff” advice!
Dude sometimes I feel like I’M out of my depth in this group because I’m about as childfree as they come but I’ve gotten absolutely blasted for suggesting things aren’t always cut and dry and that we aren’t all inferior for having conflicting feelings or questions or struggling with the familial and societal pressures thrust upon us 🥲