No, this is not a #HippoLyf reference, I am still a fat fuck who will remain such.
Just…not much in the way of viewing. Our Kraut pals at Treyverkeusen look to wrap up their “Invincibles” status in the Bundesliga, home against Augsburg (9:30, ESPN+). Nothing else matters there, to my knowledge.
After that, you “get” to see who is promoted into the 2024-25 Championship, as Wembley hosts Bolton and Oxford (11:15, ESPN+) in the League One playoff final. Classic story here, the humbled giant against the minnow upstart. Oxford call themselves the “U’s” because sometimes Brits are very un-creative like that.
Tomorrow, tune into USA to see King’s Afrikan Water Pistols finish a very strong 2nd, by mauling “somehow on 40 points” Everton. A second place with PROMISE, if you will. It won’t matter, unless Retiring Dour Ginger Cunt David Moyes has a shocker up his sleeve away to City of Men (11:00, NBC).
Speaking of, I miss Faye Reagan. She and Georgia Jones were such a cute couple, you know?
Yeah, I know this was brief. I tweaked my lower back on Wednesday (or was it Thursday?), and am MOAR doped up than usual. Talk amongst yourselves.
First time I watched Oooo-nion Berlin (ie, Comintern FC) was in the 1-2 Bundesliga playoff round. As things stand, they’ll be in it again (with less enthusiasm this go-round).
To escape, they need to win and hope Bochum keep losing.
The Dirty Socialist Finns are up on Mighty Canadians 1-0. GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY AND MAKE MORE APARTMENTS FOR YOUR HOMELESS POPULATION, YA BASTARDS!
Phil Foden wins the highly coveted Player of the Season/Bad Haircut double double for 2024!
https://www.espn.com/soccer/story/_/id/40169473/man-city-phil-foden-named-premier-league-player-season
I wasn’t sure he’d get it, but it is 100% deserved.
He has really asserted himself on the field and given the world class quality of a few of his teammates, that’s a hell of an achievement.
/I’m going to be conflicted watching England this summer
fortunately, zero % chance Southgate uses him properly/effectively
Baby Aspirins won’t need none of them trademark dramatics today. Piece of piss, Augsburg!
Found a funny:
Process Server: Mr Giuliani?
Rudy: Yes?
Process Server: You’ve been served.
Woman: What the fuck is this about, Rudy?
Rudy: Baby, it’s nothing.
Woman: Doesn’t look like nothing.
Rudy: It’s just some papers. Let me get you another drink.
Woman: No, I’m leaving. Fuck you, Rudy.
Rudy: We’ll, thanks for fucking things up for me and my cousin.
Process Server: You’re welcome.
Anyone want to come out to Baltimore (in the pouring rain) to watch me come off the bench in an Aussie footy game?
“Why not just come on the bench?”
–Charles Haley
didja invite Harry?
No joke, I was just trying to remember his name to see what time his bar opens.
yer fellow Aussies will love it!
that’s a True Elvis Man right thar
What’s “rain”?
/yeah, we’re in that part of the year again
Love to, but Beer Festival.
So today’s concert is a bunch of songs from musicals. We’re playing two songs from the show “Chess,” and neither of them are the one song I knew from the show prior, made famous of course by the one and only Mike Tyson.
Incidentally, if tonight’s fight ends in a draw, a winner will be determined by karaoke as determined by all living previously undisputed heavyweight champions. I think. I don’t know what the bone saw blood money rules are.
Got called in to do Army stuff here on a Saturday. I hope this doesn’t take long. And if it does I hope Catherine is around to help.