Finding my voice…
I recently had some feedback that perhaps I was trying to hard with my writing. As I’m sure most of us do, I accept constructive feedback but it’s a difficult one to rationalise. The individual suggested I should perhaps write more in my spoken style…
At the time I graciously accepted the feedback and decided to think about it. However, it has eaten away at my confidence a little, that perhaps others feel the same and I am not any good. That too, is I’m sure, a pretty common human response. You see, when I write a book, or even a blog post, I’ve exposed a little of myself to you all. This is a very personal story, and one I try to tell in my own monologue. What you read, even when Simon has carefully guided my edits in the books, is the voice in my head, narrating the stories and ideas I want to share with you all.
Writing about this feeling and accepting it is useful though. It allows me to acknowledge my worries and focus upon the good intention. The feedback was from an artist I admire. Writing is something I enjoy and improving and finding my own voice is a journey. I know I have long sentences, punctuated instead by commas - as if I’m talking and jumping around - which viewers of my YouTube videos or friends will recognise as the (nervous) energy that fuels so much of my creativity. The intention was to help me develop. This week I have been kit bashing an etched signal kit, to sharpen my skill, just as previously I’ve worked in N for partially the same reason. Writing two books and working with Simon on the edits is just another example, taking something I enjoy and want to improve and doing it. The books are an evolution, you, I hope, will see through my writing career (it is hopefully far from over). I will hold on to these good intentions and my own drive for self development and keep moving forwards. Acknowledging these emotions and sharing them today has been a positive thing.
As the Compendium is nearly upon us, now feels like a good juncture to stop and take stock of what is next, and whilst I do that, no fear, I shall continue to write here on the blog. Thank you to each and everyone of you who stops by to read this - I appreciate the soap box. Until next time more soon…
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I'm glad you post in the morning James, I've found myself catching up on the blog more recently during a quick coffee break in the morning. That calm period of finishing off the last of yesterdays emails while waiting for todays electronic mail to arrive. I concur with it being difficult to rationalise constructive criticism, especially from someone we look to for inspiration. Seeing what is meant to be supportive and developmental in a negative way is easy to do, and with it comes the knock to confidence, but you've got an avid reader base who really enjoys the style you write with! looking forward to what comes next in the big adventure.
ReplyDeleteThank you James - I'm glad my daily writing is consumed in the manner it is intended, over a coffee, a quiet moment away from 'real life'. You are right too, about dealing with constructive criticism, especially when there is so much heart in what I do... I know people appreciate how open I am about why I do all this, and will keep that up. I think evolving my writing style is something I have worked on for the past two or three years quite consciously, and will continue to do so - I feel like I've found my place, and adjusting my written style to mirror this is evolution not revolution. I enjoy it, and that is what matters...
DeleteHowever, when we write a book, it is different - as the transaction is paid. You come here to read what I write and it costs you nothing. You buy a book I write it has a financial value - and I think that gives the impact of that sort of feedback a little more weight for me - it's my duty to listen and reflect. I'm glad I have shared it today though, it has helped me work through it!
Hi James
ReplyDeleteI have found your books and the blog ( your written style) to be lucid, informative and very readable. I would take issue with your correspondent to some degree, as I believe that unless you are writing dialogue, the written word needs to be considered in a different way to the spoken/conversational word. It needs to be considered because, since there can be no dialogue with the reader, the thoughts of the writer need to be understood in an unambiguous way. That is why books get rewritten edited etc. before they hit the streets. I guess also that is the way I write as well and seems attune to your style.
I have seen a few reviews of your work and had conversations with friends who have purchased the books. All have been very favourable, so I do not believe you should feel any misgivings about your style. Keep on with this and I look forward to whatever you do
Best regards
Alan
Alan - as always a heartfelt thank you for you comment and contribution - and in this case too, personal reflections on style. You make a very important point that I hadn't really appreciated before - I think I was subconsciously doing it, but not that it had an important reason - yes, the way we write in these places, and in books / magazines is without sound, without intonation, without explanation from conversation. Therefore, critical we do our best to articulate the thought process as well as the ideas...
DeleteThank you too for the kind words and reflections from others who have read and purchased my books - it is always very humbling to realise how far it has reached in the hobby already. I hope, selfishly I suppose, that it long continues and my quiet revolution gathers and garners support and action on the way. In the meantime though, I shall continue doing what I do - because I enjoy it.
James, your blog is so refreshing, honest and inspirational. Your modelling is of the highest standard and the range of subjects you cover is incredible, Irish railways, china clay in Cornwall and the Isle of Wight underground trains for starters! Many men suffer from poor mental health and never find a way to talk about it. What you write is greatly appreciated and perhaps the criticism came from someone who found what you wrote uncomfortable? I have been a pastoral worker for over five years with the merchant navy and with the Royal Navy Fleet Air Arm and have seen the damage that poor mental health can cause. I can't wait to get my copy of compendium and am looking forward to book 3. If you have any more Cornish ideas too...! Take care
ReplyDeleteTom kind words indeed - and very humbling. There is such an important message in your comment, around talking and working with our health as a whole - including mental - and I find the work, the art and the writing are all intwined. I have always hoped, and continue in this vein, because of the potential my writing, modelling, videos or what have you, have a positive impact on someone else too... be it simple enjoyment or a deeper connection, perhaps acknowledgement that it is ok to be vulnerable, it is ok to be ourselves.
DeleteHi. I feel your pain. I'm a self-published writer and have dealt with lots of critiques over the years so I get your doubts.
ReplyDeleteI think the key is knowing exactly what the critic expected to find in a blog about modelling and the reasons why we make things (your blog is as much about the latter as the former), what they meant by 'trying too hard', and what they meant by your 'spoken style'.
Without knowing exactly what the critic meant there's a possibility (I know this from experience) of stewing on the problem to an extent that it undermines your confidence to write anything.
My perspective, having followed your blog for two or three years, is your writing is informed, fluent, thoughtful, philosophical, and varied. If I were writing on your subject there'd be times I'd be tearing my hair out at trying to make yet another article about weathering coal wagons sound fresh and interesting, but you’re a master at that.
I agree with Alan that a written style is completely different from a spoken style. Maybe your critic would prefer a more informal, off-the-cuff, 'chatty' style for your blog posts (I'm guessing because I don't know what they mean by 'trying too hard) or maybe they want less of the philosophising and 'mindfulness approach (I'm still guessing) and a text more grounded in glue, paint, and technique.
The glue paint and technique approach can work in a blog (not everyone wants to talk about/read about emotions and mental health) but you offer a lot more than that precisely because you connect the mechanics of modelling with the emotional and philosophical aspects.
Given the above, I’m reluctant to make any... observations of your work (note, I avoided the word ‘criticism’!) but as I’m here I offer two.
Because your writing is formal and intelligent, the odd typo, misspelling, and grammar slippage shows up a lot more than it would in something informal and chatty. But I appreciate that kind of editing is unbelievably tedious and time-consuming.
The other comment is that I think your spoken style in your videos could benefit from your written style. You write confidently but your spoken style is hesitant and almost apologetic. Your spoken style may be a better reflection of you as a person but it doesn’t reflect the quality of your modelling and presentation of modelling and if there was one aspect of your communication I would work on it’s that. Develop a bit more confidence in speaking to the camera/audience.
I speak from experience here, having been a shy child and teenager. I only learnt to speak with confidence in my late twenties, first through creative writing groups and then am-dram work. The latter in particular was one of my best decisions, not least because I went from a fear of being the centre of attention to enjoying it!
Anyway, that’s my two penn'orth.
Colin.
Thank you Colin. I wasn't looking for more 'constructive' critique - indeed, now I fear you have me worrying about video. In a previous life I was a senior manager in a manufacturing company, I regularly stood up and presented material to large audiences - indeed, I feel confident in my presentation when it calls for it. My defence, and it feels as such, but I know you weren't intending to attack me (!) is that I 'think' you're picking up on a more deliberate effort in recent videos to slow down, to be more considered and mindful. My usual speaking pace is more akin to previous videos but these days I do make a conscious effort to pause, and reflect as I go - to help, I hope, the viewer to slow down and consider things themselves. It's all good stuff though and your comment is incredibly valuable - I am grateful, even if I'm teasing a little. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement.
DeleteI wonder if anyone accused Rice of trying too hard?
ReplyDeleteI often wonder if I should write more about the process and how I feel whilst modelling, but to be frank that's not something that I'd be good at, and if I did it really would be trying too hard. Each to their own I say, find your own voice, develop your own style, but always be aware that someone somewhere really won't like what you're doing.
I do wonder about what people are trying to achieve when they blog, you're obviously a professional model maker and writer so therefore you need exposure, whilst I myself see a blog as a way of recording my work for my own use (and I do refer back to past posts) and I'm not too bothered about viewing figures. I'd rather have 4 interested readers than 400 casual browsers. It's also a way of sharing my work without the sometime idiocy of forums.
I mentioned Rice at the start as I've often felt that you're starting to fill the gap that he's left, that is intelligent writing on the twin subjects of design and execution.
Lastly, I must agree with Colin. Sort those typos!
Thank you Paul - it is very kind of you to connect me to Rice, he has been such an inspiration to me over the years... and some heartfelt reflections there too, I started out blogging for the reasons you share - but these days its the only real advertising I do - but that isn't it either - I do this because I love it. Everything I write comes from inside of me, and is here because I want it to be - deliberate and emotional, hopefully intelligent and occasionally though provoking. I'm not re-inventing the wheel here, but I'm happy to be recognised for this too... and typos, I do my best, and do go back and correct any howlers but I type fast, to try and keep up with my thoughts - and they inevitably creep in from time to time. I will work on that!
DeleteThere have been times when I've had thoughts on the way you've presented something, or an opinion you have had and thought about posting some "constructive feedback", but then I imagined what would happen if you followed it, and then I gave more and you followed that, and so on. I realised that pretty soon you would lose your own unique voice and your unique points of view that are very much different from any other railway modeller that I follow and I believe that would be a crying shame and a metaphorical crime.
ReplyDeleteTo me its far more important that I am surrounded by this difference because it is sometimes challenging, often unexpected and frequently inspiring.
You do you. You be you. Evolve because you change, grow because you learn, but don't lose what makes you interesting to read and watch.
Thank you - I never set out today to garner such lovely affirming comments from people - I just used it as a way of exploring how I felt about this particular feedback, but it has been wonderful for regular readers to contribute and explain how much they enjoy what I do AND the way I do it. Difference, as you say, is what makes things interesting, and that is stimulating for us as creative beings. I will, I'm sure, continue to evolve and find my voice - but also, recognise that I can't stop being myself.
DeleteThank you to everyone who has commented so kindly and warmly today, all of you have answered a call I didn't realise I made - but upon reflection, can probably see why you all commented having re-read the original post.
ReplyDeleteI share a lot of myself in these creative forms. I also recognise that my creativity has a price, and that is a roller coaster of mental health. I am not afraid to share and talk about this either. Today I set out to better understand myself, and I did that through the words I wrote - and then, through your kind reflections have learnt more about how that is perceived, valued and then more still, how I feel about it all. Thank you.
Second attempt.....Hi James. Please just keep doing what you are doing the way you are doing it. I find your vlogging style warm, instructive and wonderfully calming in an increasingly mad and hectic World. You engender a feeling that I have just popped round for a coffee and a chat and you are showing me what you have been up to since we last met. Your calm yet infectious enthusiasm for all things railway is very inspiring and makes me want to dig out the books and start planning. I look forward to your updates and your blog is my first stop each day. Keep up the good work and do not fret about others negative opinions....as I have seen so often on the pages of certain modelling forums, there are too many who seem intent on knocking others or wishing to appear smarter rather than doing something openly creative themselves. And by the way, I am itching to know how the next incarnation of Paxton Road is coming on.
ReplyDeleteThank you Clive. I see the numbers of course, but it’s always surprising and wonderful when people stop by and say they read every day, looking forward to it. I’m glad my style feels like you’ve popped around for a coffee, that is deliberate and intentional and consider it the same. You’re being welcomed into my safe space whilst I share what I’m excited about or have been working on - equally when I’m feeling more reflective. Kind kind words, greatly appreciated.
DeletePaxton Road, there is no replacement, I realised some time ago that I’d managed to distill a concept so purely that any attempt to recreate it in a larger footprint would fail to capture the same energy.
Hello James, Second attempt! As with any thing in life there are things we like and enjoy and others we don't. Those things are different for all of us. It is what makes us individuals. None of us can be everything to everyone but we can be something to some in what we do and produce. I think for someone who writes a popular blog , creates YouTube videos and has had two books published with others hopefully in the making you have proof for yourself that there are a fair number of people who do actually like your style of writing and presentation. If you are offered advice or given criticism, even from 'experts' it does not necessarily mean anything other than if they were in your position they would do things differently. However, they are not in your position. Just be who you are
ReplyDeleteThanks Woody. I’m lucky to have so many who do enjoy and follow my thoughts, writing and video - whilst I suppose it’s an advertorial it’s all from the heart. Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot.
DeleteG'day James. The thing you're doing by writing is a remarkable thing. You are translating into words something that is known by you and by others but not always written down. These are your books with your own flair, and for that, it warrants your flair. Please continue to write in the manner in which you see fit, for it is a joy to read and to see pictured. While take other's comments on board, do not let it stymie your writing. It is after all, your book. Lachlan.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lachlan. It’s interesting, I seem to get more emails about spelling, punctuation and grammar than changing anything per se, and all of those things I strive to improve anyway - they don’t effect my voice, but do effect the enjoyment of reading it for some people. I will continue to write daily, in magazines and books. Some exciting projects this year, alongside the commission models but the dream of a TV show may be a year or two away yet!
DeleteI just wanted to add my words of support. As someone who has frequent run-ins with stress and anxiety. I appreciate your promoting on mindfulness in all aspects of this great hobby of ours. Your blog posts have sent me down so many internet rabbit holes that I don't know whether to thank you or curse you. I read your posts and I don't notice the writing style, many times I hear your voice. So it all seems perfectly OK to me.
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful reflection, I think by sharing both video and the written word I hope readers (watchers) can hear my voice in the words I write. I don’t have different styles, I just have me… that said, I do try to improve spelling and grammar and will continue to work on this!
DeleteYour reflections on the mindful aspect of what I’ve been up to recently, thank you, it’s a deliberate exploration of the idea and I hope to be able to write a book about my ideas in the near future.
A myriad of prototypes and rabbit holes - I make no apologies, you, like me, enjoy them I know! Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to make the comment, I really appreciate it.
Hello James,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that your blog is one of my favorite parts of the day. You have changed my approach to modeling completley since stumbling across this blog a little over a year ago. It is an understatement to say it has changed my life quite a lot, I am now better able to appreciate this precious hobby. Your writings and videos have helped me not only complete projects but take on a much healthier relationship with this hobby. I absolutely love your style of writing and approach to topics and layout design, when reading any of your blog posts, I feel as if I am listening to a close friend talk about a project they are passionate about. Your writing sytle feels personal, and helps me connect with your work. Keep doing what you are doing, it is fantastic!
I'll probably respond at length offline. For the bulk of the last 35 years I've been paid to speak. Early on I learned to be a specific version of me. Not the everyday me who finds social interactions awkward, but a more extrovert yet authentic persona. In those years many book deals have whizzed past because I struggle to adapt my written voice to extend past 2000 words. Many great model railway writers have had distinctive styles that aren't to everyone's taste. Too didactic, too informal, too difficult. A voice finds it's audience.
ReplyDelete