‘Legally Blonde’ Turns 21: The Most Iconic Elle Woods Quotes Ranked

21. “I taught Bruiser how to shop online. I think I can handle Congress.”

With its political plot and abundance of red, white, and blue style moments, “Legally Blonde 2” could have just as well been called “Ms. Woods Goes To Washington.” (Recall, Elle and Emmett actually do watch the James Stewart-starring movie from 1939 while wedding planning long distance.) It’s a fitting follow-up framework that results in some excellent moments from Elle, as the impassioned litigator fights to end cosmetic animal testing at a national level.

Donning stars and stripes, she kicks off her patriotic sequel declaring, “I taught Bruiser how to shop online. I think I can handle Congress.” It’s a solid joke, on par with Paulette’s earlier “You look like the Fourth of July! It makes me want a hot dog real bad.”

20. “It’s a perfectly respectable place, Daddy.”

Elle’s parents play a perfectly sized role in the original film, and this line captures practically all of it. Credited simply as “Elle’s Mother” and “Elle’s Father,” actors James Read and Tane McClure don’t pull unearned focus, instead appearing in just one scene before Elle jets off to Harvard. “Law school?” Elle’s dad inquires; his daughter peering over on the side of the pool.

“It’s a perfectly respectable place, daddy,” she retorts. Before Elle’s mother can even launch into the merits of the Miss Hawaiian Tropics Contest, audiences instantly understood this daughter-parent dynamic. Later, when Elle laments feeling like not even her parents believe in her legal ambitions, her father’s discouragement (“Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious…”) and Elle’s defiance take on an even more meaningful edge.

19. “You have all the equipment. You just need to read the manual.”

Elle and Paulette make for stunningly good accidental friends, and the intro to the “bend and snap” scene sets up their relationship just right. As Paulette laments the trials and tribulations of hitting on the UPS Guy (Bruce Thomas), Elle sets her insecurities at ease: “You have all the equipment. You just need to read the manual.”

18. “Too Nancy. Too Hillary. Too Monica. Too perfect for words!”

Ever since Elle appeared in that jewel-toned sweater and dark-rimmed glasses for her first day at Harvard, she’s “looked the part” of an up-and-coming attorney. But at the start of her sequel, the newbie Washingtonian must pick an outfit for her first day of work as a congressional aid. A red option, she argues, is “too Nancy.” Blue? “Too Hillary.” Black with a white trim? “Too Monica,” of course. But the pink Jackie Kennedy-inspired skirt suit Elle eventually prances up the Capitol steps in on her very first day? She said it best herself: “Too perfect for words.”

17. “Why let someone else do for you what you can do for yourself?”

From the cheesy charm of the Snap Cup to the remarkably lovely arc of Grace Rossiter (Regina King), “Legally Blonde 2” magnifies Elle’s inspirational abilities with a morals-first message that’s anchored in personal responsibility. The author of “Bruiser’s Bill” claims to “always say” a lot during her 2003 sequel, but the advice she offers supporting character Reena (Mary Lynn Rajskub) is the most memorable: “Why let someone else do for you what you can do for yourself?” It’s decent advice audiences have seen Elle follow herself, twice now.

16. “When used appropriately, it has an 83 percent rate of return on a dinner invitation. It’s called The Bend and Snap.”

Elle’s suggestion that Paulette “read the manual” on her own bangin’ bod (see entry #19) is followed up with this iconic sequence, boasting a “98 percent success rate of getting a man’s attention” — and, when used appropriately, an “83 percent rate of return on a dinner invitation.” Fun fact: the “bend and snap” was originally conceived as a musical number by screenwriters Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith, but the sequence was cut. Thankfully, it was later realized in the Broadway version via a dance number in act two.

15. “The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.”

The unbelievable interrogation of Chutney Windham (Linda Cardellini) is a truly astounding bit of cinematic courtroom magic, ranking toward the very top of this list. That said, Elle’s victory quip to the press — “Any Cosmo girl would have known!” — deserves recognition as an especially good button for this narrative twist. Walking down the courthouse steps with her exonerated client Brooke Taylor-Windham (Ali Larter), Elle is asked how she knew Chutney was lying about her alibi. Her response, equal parts humility and humor, reflects one of Elle’s best qualities: Even in a packed courtroom with a woman’s freedom on the line, she trusts her gut.

14. “If you’re trying to sell it to me for full price, you’ve picked the wrong girl.”

A tense face-off between Elle and a sneaky saleswoman (Lisa Arch) is one of only a few “Legally Blonde” scenes done a bit better by the musical. (The show’s opening number “Omigod You Guys” features the exchange as an aside that’s surprisingly catchy for being spoken.) However, Witherspoon delivers the more subdued dialogue so exquisitely that it’s getting a well-earned bump in the rankings. When the conniving costumer service rep tries to sell Elle last season’s dress at a right-off-the-runway price, the unwitting legal virtuoso lays a trap that’s more disappointed than dastardly.

13. “I’d pick the dangerous one, because I’m not afraid of a challenge.”

After Professor Callahan (Victor Garber) quizzes Elle in class, asking whether she’d want to work with a client who committed a crime “malum in se” or “malum prohibitum,” Elle smartly says she’d prefer a client who was innocent. The lecture hall smugly laughs at Elle’s naivety, and her rival Vivian sweeps in, arguing that she’d choose malum prohibitum “because then the client would have committed a regulatory infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.”

Elle doesn’t take the shade standing down, instead piping up again to offer: “I changed my mind. I’ll take the dangerous one, because I’m not afraid of a challenge.” Props to her for pulling off this genuinely clever comeback, and via Socratic method no less!

12. “Hello, patriots!”

Timothy (J. Barton) said it best when he meant to insult — but absolutely complimented — his new colleague at the start of “Legally Blonde 2” by saying: “Oh my god, it’s Capitol Barbie.” The California native’s arrival in D.C. is indeed a sight to behold, with Elle’s pastel pink ensemble parting the sea of black, blues, and charcoals flooding the Capitol steps and hallways. Her peppy dialogue punctuates the comedic juxtaposition, with the campy cheerfulness of “Hello, patriots!” maintaining a likable idealism even now.

11. “Happy people just don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t.”

Broadly speaking, this theory about mood and murder doesn’t check out. (Seriously, way too many physically fit people have killed their spouses.) But Elle’s unshakable belief that her old aerobics instructor Brooke couldn’t possibly have hurt her husband stands as hilarious proof of her unwavering confidence in humanity. Witherspoon channels burning certainty from beneath that soft bang, and, of course, Elle turns out to be right when Brooke confirms she really wasn’t at the scene of the crime.

10. “Don’t ask.” “Wasn’t gonna.”

OK, yes, this Elle line only works because of Luke Wilson’s practically lethal delivery on “Wasn’t gonna.” Nevertheless, it’s included among Elle’s top 10 best quotes because it captures exactly what works well about Elle and Emmett as a leading rom-com couple. Usually in the background but never not at Elle’s side, Emmett appears in both “Legally Blonde” and “Legally Blonde 2” most often when Elle is need of major reflection. During the original, however, Elle runs into her not-yet-love-interest at the bookstore. Still dressed as a bunny and gearing up for a big study sequence, she’s buying a laptop and not ready to talk it out. So, they share this stupendous four-word exchange instead.

9. “Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.”

Pour one out for the chatty, well-meaning, Gemini vegetarians in your life. Elle’s arrival in Boston comes with an array of outrageous first impressions, from her admittedly ridiculous moving truck to that awkward exchange at orientation check-in. (Brief aside: “Maybe you should check with the cruise director on the lido deck?” isn’t Elle’s line, but wow is that funny.) The final stumbling block in Elle’s comedy of errors campus introduction comes when she’s asked about herself and her achievements in a small breakout group boasting some of the rudest, most conceited people on either U.S. coast. Naturally, she’s totally fine being herself.

8. “I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.”

At the beginning of Elle’s law school journey, the undergraduate senior visits her guidance counselor (Allyce Beasley) to announce her plans to go to Harvard. “I don’t need back-ups,” Elle stresses, when met with reasonable skepticism. “I’m going to Harvard.” The counselor doesn’t quite understand how serious the pink-loving protagonist is, however; so Elle follows up again with this vivid underwear-centric anecdote that honestly should’ve been a scene.

7. “You can do it The Washington Way, but I’m going to do it The Elle Woods Way.”

In the end, “Legally Blonde 2” antagonist Victoria Rudd (Sally Field) proves no match for Elle and Bruiser. But the congresswoman’s ferocious maneuvering and counter-maneuvering makes for a compelling juxtaposition of life philosophies between her and our hero. Plus, it results in this excellent Elle mantra, the antithesis of Rudd’s assertion that you “can’t get the people to care.” (“Watch me!” didn’t rank, but gets an honorary mention, obviously.)

6. “Congratulations, Class of 2004. We did it!”

Introduced by Professor Stromwell (Holland Taylor) as class valedictorian in the “Legally Blonde” epilogue, Elle delivers a rousing law school graduation speech that fans haven’t forgotten.

“It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world, remembering that first impressions are not always correct,” Elle says, in a poignant reflection on the film’s main takeaway. “You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.” The cutesy kicker — “Congratulations, Class of 2004. We did it!” — is strangely timeless.

5. “I’m comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. I object!”

With the help of her sorority sisters Margot (Jessica Cauffiel) and Serena (Alanna Ubach), Elle submits the finest application to higher education Hollywood has ever seen in the original “Legally Blonde.” Elle’s Harvard application video, canonically “directed by a Coppola,” is chock full of hysterical moments that underline Elle’s ability to be different without ever falling fully out of touch. Heck, even the last line — “…and that’s why you should vote for me, Elle Woods, future lawyer” — plays with the concept, slyly joking about Elle’s sorority past before directly setting up the admission vote that gets her into Harvard. (“She does have a 4.0 from CULA, and she got a 179 on her LSATs.”)

4. “Which means you would have had to have found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible. Isn’t that right?”

Up there with all-time great courtroom scenes, including exchanges from “A Few Good Men” and “My Cousin Vinny,” Elle’s cross-examination of Brooke’s stepdaughter Chutney is nothing short of dazzling. Presented without comment, the court record:

Elle: “Chutney, why is it Tracy Marcinco’s curls were ruined when she got hosed down?”

Chutney: “Because they got wet?”

Elle: “Exactly. Because isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate?”

Chutney: “Yes…”

Elle: “And wouldn’t somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren’t washing your hair as I suspect you weren’t because your curls are still intact, wouldn’t you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn’t have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn’t that right?”

Chutney: “She is my age. Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?”

Elle: “You, however, Chutney, had time to hide the gun, after you shot your father.”

Chutney [pointing at Brooke]: “I didn’t mean to shoot him! I thought it was you walking through the door!”

3. “If I’m gonna be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I’m going to need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.”

Is there any better feeling than finally rejecting someone who treated you broke your heart? Warner comes crawling back to Elle after her win on the Wyndham case, claiming he made a mistake by dumping her in Los Angeles. He even calls her “Pooh Bear,” a painful reminder of the women-are-interchangeable approach Warner took with both Elle and Vivian. Luckily, Elle sees right through it and tosses his dialogue from the beginning of the film (“If I’m gonna be a senator by the time I’m 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn…”) right back in his conceited little face.

2. “What? Like it’s hard?”

If you really want to impress someone, make the hard things look easy. Crossing paths with Warner for the first time at Harvard, Elle delivers the news that she’s not only attending the same school as her ex-boyfriend, but that she was able to get in without nepotistic help. (Remember, Vivian reveals Warner was waitlisted and that his dad “had to make a call” in the movie’s second half.) This line wins the honor of being called Elle’s second best due in large part to Witherspoon’s dead-on delivery, balancing the whimsical fun of a woman on a romance revenge arc with the genuine awe that comes with a character as fiercely capable as Elle.  

1. “I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be.”

Even knowing Elle isn’t strictly speaking a “real person,” it’s something of a marvel to think she says this line in a scene after she’s been admitted to Harvard Law on only a few months preparation. At its glowing, glittery, (presumably) pink core, “Legally Blonde” is the story of a 21-year-old who handles a string of impossible obstacles and difficult events with ever-increasing grace. She may say this specific line to Warner amidst yet another of his betrayals during the infamous costume party scene, but Elle’s best line is first and foremost a rallying cry that’s bigger than just one doofus. So go ahead: Show them how valuable Elle Woods can be.