The Best And Funniest Quotes From 'Never Have I Ever'
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152 VOTESI'm Too Curvacious
Kamala: I could never be a model. I'm too curvacious.
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242 VOTESIndian Kardashian
Fabiola: You look like an Indian Kardashian.
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390 VOTESHey Gods
Devi: Hey gods, it's Devi Vishwakumar, your favorite Hindu girl in the San Fernando Valley. What's a-poppin'? It's the first day of school, and I thought we should have a check-in. I think we can all agree that last year sucked for a number of reasons. So I thought of a few ways you guys can make it up to me. One: I'd like to be invited to a party with alcohol and hard drugs. I'm not gonna do them, I'd just like the opportunity to say, "No cocaine for me, thanks. I'm good." Two: I'd love for my arm hair to thin out. I know it's an Indian thing, but my forearms look like the frigging floor of a barber shop. And lastly, most importantly, I'd really, really like a boyfriend, but not some nerd from one of my AP classes. Like a guy from a sports team. He can be dumb, I don't care. I just want him to be a stone-cold hottie, who could rock me all night long. Thanks for considering. I love you guys.
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444 VOTESWe Are Smart
Fabiola: We are smart. And idiots are banging all the time. We can learn how to do it, too.
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560 VOTESHigh School
Devi: High school's a d*ck.
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635 VOTESHow To Buy A Credit Card
Devi: I don't negotiate with terrorists, Ben. And honestly, I'm mature enough to be on my own. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna Google how to buy a credit card.
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760 VOTESPeace Out
Devi: Peace out, virgin.
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838 VOTESWhat I Said I'd Do
Paxton: I'm here to do exactly what I said I'd do. I'm here to have sex with you.
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940 VOTESKnow How To Do It
Devi: It's like, I think about sex 24/7, but I don't really know how to do it. In the movies, you always see the girl kiss her way down the guy's body, but then, she moves off-screen. Is she stopping at the penis or kissing all the way to the foot?
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1023 VOTESPopping My Cherry
Devi: I want to talk about a major event that could happen: popping my cherry, doc.
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1136 VOTESYou Stayed
Devi: You stayed.
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1222 VOTESYou Are Stupid
Rebecca: Well, if you blow her off, then actually, you are stupid.
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1325 VOTESLight Tread
Kamala: I'm sorry. I've been told before that my light tread is too elegant to be detected by the human ear.
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1428 VOTESRun Away Earlier
Devi: You know, I would've run away earlier if I'd known I'd get to use a bathroom with a TV in it.
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1549 VOTESGive You A Smack
Nalini: Yeah, you better go to your room before I give you a smack. Smacking is still an acceptable punishment in many minority cultures.
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1648 VOTESYou Will Walk Again
Fabiola: One day, you will walk again. If not, I will build you legs.
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1727 VOTESNormal Teenagers
Nalini: Normal teenagers end up in prison, or worse, working in Jersey Mike's.
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1824 VOTESBollywood Movie
Kamala: I found a Bollywood movie about a princess who falls for a lowly street sweeper. It's only seven hours long.
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1921 VOTESGoing To The Movies
Rebecca: I'm going to the movies with my friends. Which pair of jeans is the fiercest?
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2024 VOTESOne Dangly Earring
Ramona: Uh, would a not cool person wear... one dangly earring?
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2126 VOTESThis Is Worse
Ramona: This is worse than if it were happening to me. In protest, I shan't use my legs either.
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2216 VOTESHow to Ride a Bike
Kamala: I saw a couple riding a tandem bike, and it made me think of how you don't know how to ride a bike.
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2316 VOTESTrying to Kiss Me
Devi: Whoa! Were you just trying to kiss me?
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2425 VOTESTake Your Dew
Nalini: Take your Dew and go.
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2517 VOTESAndy Samberg
Andy Samberg: This is Ben Gross. He's a 15-year old boy from Sherman Oaks, California. And I am American actor, producer, writer, fake rapper: Andy Samberg. What can I say? I wear a lot of hats.
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2628 VOTESSquare Pizza Day
Devi: I don't bring lunch on Tuesdays. It's square pizza day.
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2722 VOTESJohn McEnroe
John McEnroe: Now you may be asking yourself why is sports icon John McEnroe narrating this tale? It'll make sense later I promise.
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2814 VOTESGoodbye
Nalini: Goodbye, my love.
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2929 VOTESDied That Night
Devi: I wish you were the one that died that night.
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3020 VOTESHis Ashes
Nalini: Today is your father's birthday, and I think it's time for us to scatter his ashes. Would you do that with me?
