Author Bob Hope | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Bob Hope Page 2

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Entertainment People Self

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Communication Wordplay Oscars Passover

I’m from Los Angeles… I don’t trust any air I can’t see.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Places Los Angeles

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government Money Taxes Wealth Bing Crosby

I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage!

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Activities Travel Flying

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government Money Places Politics Washington

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

God Golf Sports Lightning

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Characteristics Honesty People Politics Ronald Reagan

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf People Sports On playing golf with President Eisenhower

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Beliefs Intelligence

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Sports Jewelry Sammy Davis Jr.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that's why the dogs are so fast.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Places Siberia

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Sports

I grew up with six brothers; that’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Dance Entertainment Relationships Bathroom Brothers

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age Appearance Body Old Birthdays On turning 80

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age Old Young

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government President Democrats Unemployment

It gave dirty politics a bad name.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government Politics Watergate

Surprise me.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Last words Spoken to his wife when she asked where he wanted to be buried.

Quotes and One Liners

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Author: Bob Hope Page 2

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

I’m from Los Angeles… I don’t trust any air I can’t see.

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage!

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that's why the dogs are so fast.

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

I grew up with six brothers; that’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

It gave dirty politics a bad name.

Surprise me.