69 Funny Bible Jokes For Kids (That Will Make You Laugh)

Reading Time: 5 minutes

The Bible is perhaps the most revered and widely discussed literary masterpiece in human history. It is a tome of wisdom, morality, and spirituality that has influenced the lives of millions across the world. However, the Bible doesn’t always have to be so serious. Some of its passages and characters can provide hilarious inspiration. Biblical humor can also be a great way to engage with the scripture and spark conversations with others.

And who doesn’t love a good joke? I know I do! After writing articles about Funny Resurrection Jokes, Funny Easter Gifts, and The “My Butt Hurts” Easter Meme, we decided to share these funny Bible jokes for kids.

Whether you’re a devout Christian or just looking to inject some humor into your day, these short Bible jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone. They are clean and family-friendly, but some of them might be a little over the heads of kids who don’t have much Bible knowledge.

From classic puns to witty retellings of famous stories, here are some of the best Bible jokes and riddles for kids.

Funny Bible Jokes For Kids

While some may argue that humor has no place in religion, we believe that laughter can actually be a powerful tool for building community and bringing people together. So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh at these funny Bible jokes for kids.

Jesus Jokes

1. Who do mice pray to? Cheesus.
2. Why are there no Hondas in the bible? Because Jesus never spoke of his own Accord.
3. Did you know that there was a DJ in the Bible? It was Jesus because he turned tables. (turntables)
4. Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
5. What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza? Jesus can’t be topped.

Adam And Eve Jokes

6. Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York City? She fell for the Big Apple.
7. At what time of day did God create Adam? Just before Eve.
8. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
9. What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”
10. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why they no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home.
11. Who is the fastest person in the Bible? Adam, because he was first in the human race.
12. Did Eve have a date with Adam? No, just an apple.
13. What was the first word out of Adam’s mouth when he first saw Eve? Whoa man! Thus, the word “woman” was created.
14. At Sunday School the children were learning how according to the Bible God created everything, including human beings. Johnny paid particular attention when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later that week, Johnny’s mother found him lying on his bed as though he were ill, and asked him, “Johnny, what’s the matter?” Johnny replied, “I’ve got a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

Moses Jokes

15. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
16. How does Moses start his morning? Hebrews a pot of coffee!
17. Who is the biggest sinner in the bible? Moses, he broke all the commandments at once.
18. Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.
19. What do you call the parts of the Bible without Moses? Mosn’t.
20. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

Noah’s Ark Jokes

21. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck.
22. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
23. What animal could Noah not trust? Cheetah
24. Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? Because they were using “fowl” language.
25. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks? Quackers
26. What did pirates call Noah’s boat? “The arrrrrrk.”
27. What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark? Floodlights.
28. Why didn’t Noah go fishing? He only had two worms.
29. If you need an Ark, I Noah a guy.
30. Did all the animals on the Ark come in pairs? No the worms came in apples.

Funny Bible Car Jokes

31. What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car? A convertible.
32. How do we know that cars are in the New Testament? Because Jesus was a car-painter (carpenter).
33. What type of car does Jesus drive? A Christ-ler.
34. What kind of car did the Apostles drive? A Honda, because the Bible says they were all in one Accord.
35. How did the 12 disciples travel? By driving a Honda. The Bible says they were all in one Accord.
36. What car did the wise men drive to see Jesus? A Honda Accord. The Bible says the wise men all came in one accord.

Sports Jokes In The Bible

37. Is baseball mentioned in the bible? Yes! In the “big inning.” (beginning)
38. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
39. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

Funny Bible Jokes (About The Book)

40. I went running with my Bible… Now my Psalms are sweaty.
41. Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? He thought he saw a job.
42. Recently, I’ve been using the Bible for support. I’ve got a wobbly coffee table.
43. I’m reading a book that compares the different versions of the Bible. Turns out, there is a lot of cross referencing.
44. The Holy Bible is proven to be 100% accurate. But only when thrown at a close-range.
45. What’s a dentist’s favorite hymn? Crown him with many crowns.
46. The bible is one of the best-selling books in the world. It’s very prophetable.
47. Yo mama is so old, she’s mentioned in the Bible!
48. Yo mamma so old, she pre-ordered the Bible!
49. Why do people read the Bible more often as they get older? They’re cramming for their final exam.
50. A lawyer gets diagnosed with a terminal Illness. On his deathbed, he asks for a Bible. The hospital staff thinks he has become religious now that his end is near. The doctor notices him going through every line carefully with a grave expression, so he asks, “what are you doing?”. The lawyer looks up and replies dryly, “looking for a loophole.”

Bible Character Jokes

51. Who was the shortest man in the Bible? Nehemiah (knee-high-miah).
52. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
53. Who was the 1st surfer in the Bible? Paul. In Acts, he “came ashore on a board”!
54. In the bible, Samson was a tough man. But his father Samsonite was a real hard case.
55. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down.
56. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? Ruthless.
57. Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? EZekiel.
58. Which Bible Character is a locksmith? Zaccheus.
59. What do you call it when Cain insults his brother? Disable.
60. Why didn’t Cain build a house for his father? He was not Abel
61. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? By his net income.
62. Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.
63. Did you know that Jeremiah owned a French candy store? He had Laments. (La Mints)
64. Who was the smallest person in the Bible? Knee high miah!
65. Who was the most business-savvy woman in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter, who went down to the bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet.
66. Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head.
67. Which king in the Bible preferred to do everything alone? King Solomon.
68. Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
69. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it.

Funny Bible Jokes For Kids

Thanks for reading our list of funny Bible jokes and riddles for kids. Hopefully you found them all to be clean and family-friendly. If you have any great Bible-related dad jokes that we missed, then please share them in the comments.