We’ve reached the end of A Gentleman in Moscow, but we can’t wrap things up without one final escapade for Alexander (Ewan McGregor), Anna (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and Sofia (Beau Gadsdon). Before the finale wraps, they’ll need to become spies for the American government—this way, Sofia will have a ticket out of the corrupt Russian leadership.

The plan sounds simple enough. While Sofia is off performing at the conservatory in Paris, she’ll sneak off in the middle of the show to deliver the important tapes Alex recorded from dinner a few nights ago. She’ll head to the American Embassy in Paris, hand over the evidence, and Richard (Lucian Msamati) will get her on the next plane to the United States. Then, once everything has arrived safely, Richard will call every phone at the Metropol Hotel, alerting Alex to his child’s safety.

Sofia is fitted for her recital dress—really one of the most gorgeous dresses I’ve seen all year, a fit that would look marvelous on Anne Hathaway—by Marina (Leah Harvey), and Alex is speechless. “You look so grown up,” he says through tears. Wait…am I also crying? This is kind of adorable. I’ve spent weeks complaining about how much I want this show to end, but now, I’m a little sad it’s coming to a close. Just two episodes ago, Sofia was giggling while hiding a thimble in Alex’s room—now, she’s a woman.

Sofia is fully on board with the plan, but she has one request: If she’s going to do this, Alex and Anna need to join her in America, too. Ugh. We know that’s not possible, Alex knows that’s not possible, but Sofia—sweet, youthful, naive Sofia—still has a dream. Alex lies and says that he and Anna will be right over following her journey.

While grabbing a final drink at the bar with Anna, Sofia mentions how excited she is to live life in America with her and Alex. Anna is confused for a second—wait, she’s not going to America with Sofia—and then understands. Alex had to create this lie to ensure Sofia’s safety. Anna goes along with it, and after a few stories about Sofia’s mom Nina (Leah Balmforth), Sofia is sent to one last dinner with Alex.

This is all getting to be a bit too saccharine—we could’ve cut to Paris after the dress bit. Alex and Sofia are nearly sobbing into their pork chops, crying about how much they’ll miss one another and how worried they are for their safety. “I shall be incredibly sad in your absence,” Alex says, his voice shaky, “but I’ll be full of joy thinking of the adventures that you’ll have.” How is Sofia still blind to the fact that he’s not coming with her, even after this?

Everyone says goodbye to Sofia while pretending that this is only a two-week jaunt, so as to not disturb the Bishop (John Heffernan), who suspects something is afoot. Everyone on staff invites Alex to a big party to get his mind off of Sofia’s departure—they drink, juggle knives, gossip. Alex tells an old wives’ tale about a bloody apple that provides the chance to live life over again if eaten; he says he wouldn’t eat it at all. Life is good. He loves its imperfections.

Osip confronts Alex after the dinner because, of course, we have to wrap up this pointless arc in some way. I’ll keep it short for you: Osip (Johnny Harris) regrets the fact that he didn’t really get to say goodbye to his daughter when he sent her off. Although Alex may be thinking about leaving, he should really stay put and see Sofia’s departure to Paris as the best closure he can get. No matter what, after Sofia’s quest, the Russian government will hunt Alex down until he’s dead. He should distance himself from Sofia sooner rather than later.

Sofia arrives in Paris. She’s not worried: As the first performer of the night, she will have plenty of time to put on a disguise and sneak over to the American Embassy. But the organizer confronts her at the start of the show—actually, Tarkovsky has requested her to be the penultimate performer of the night. Godammit.

Back at the hotel, Alex and Anna are still trying to figure out what they’ll do to escape. All that matters is that they have each other. They make some vague plan about taking a train to Helsinki once they know Sofia is safe, but it still seems like Alex will stay at the Metropol Hotel forever. Anna departs for her train to Helsinki, Alex promises to meet her there, but c’mon. Man is staying in the hotel until the day he dies. He wouldn’t risk anything for his girls.

There’s a bit of action intertwined as events play out in Paris and at the hotel. The Bishop sees Anna leaving and starts to get nervous—so he ransacks Alex’s room, looking for clues as to what’s going on. Alex threatens to shoot the Bishop, then chains him up in the basement while throwing all the prisoner files on his fellow Metropol staffers into a fire. They can now be free; there’s no record of any of them in the Russian system.

At the same time, Sofia finishes her performance and races off the stage. She cuts her hair off and changes into a disguise; then, she must somehow escape the theater while the conservatory organizer hunts around for her. This conservatory woman is on a damn mission—why is she so pressed about Sofia? Kids will be kids; let her run wild in Paris. Sofia escapes, barely, and we never see her again.

We do, however, hear every phone in the Metropol start to ring. She’s safe. She did it. Alex weeps. But…now, what’ll he do?

We don’t really know, that’s the answer. Sofia narrates that she never saw Alex and Anna ever again, but she did somehow hear that they made it out of the hotel safely. We cut to some vaguely European farm where an older Alex and Anna are living together; but there’s no real description on how this happened, and then the show just ends. OK, sure. If they’re going to end the show on such a lackluster note, I’ll do the same with this recap—whatever.