The Best 'Napoleon Dynamite' Quotes, Ranked
Voting Rules
Vote up the quotes from ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ that you're still quoting.
Immerse yourself in the quirky world of Napoleon Dynamite as we showcase a handpicked selection of its most iconic lines. This cult classic, much celebrated for its offbeat humor and idiosyncratic characters, has left an enduring imprint on pop culture with its one-of-a-kind dialogue. From Napoleon's memorable quips to Kip's distinct pronouncements, every character in this gem of a film delights with their unique expressions.
We stretch beyond merely listing the quotes. For each dialogue, we delve into its context, enriching your understanding of its significance within the movie's plot. Why did Napoleon need his Chapstick? How did Kip truly feel about LaFawnduh? We unspool these threads and more, grounding these dialogues into their narrative structure for your deeper appreciation.
This curated collection mirrors the film's essence, from its timeless humor to its poignant commentaries, reflected through its remarkable dialogue and funny sayings. It effectively caters to die-hard Napoleon Dynamite fans, movie-quote aficionados, and even casual viewers seeking a dash of whimsy. It's a loving nod to the film's influence on popular culture, its quirky charm, and its enduring appeal.
In essence, we're inviting you to relive the eccentricities of a cult classic through its dialogue, reminiscent of Idaho's sprawling landscapes and the peculiar inhabitants of Preston High School. So sit back, relax, and let each Napoleon Dynamite dialogue transport you into an idyllic universe of llamas and moon boots, of beautifully inept characters and their endearing misadventures. It's time to soar back to the heart of this beloved narrative, one quote at a time. Dive in and let the timeless charm of these carefully-selected Napoleon Dynamite quotes wash over you.
- 10 VOTES
"What I wanna do."
- Photo:
[First lines]
Vern: What are you going to do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh! (Ties a string to his action figure and chucks it out the window) - 20 VOTES
While Drinking Gatorade
- Photo:
Napoleon: (takes a bottle of Gatorade from the refrigerator and stops short) Who are you?
Lafawnduh: I'm Lafawnduh.
Napoleon: What are you doing here?
Lafawnduh: I'm waiting for Kip. (short pause) Why are you so sweaty? (points at him)
Napoleon: Been practicing.
Lafawnduh: Practicing what?
Napoleon: My dance moves. (compulsively turns his head and takes a swig of Gatorade) - 30 VOTES
Blowing Nessie Up
- Photo:
Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its residents, and all those who seek a peaceful existence with our underwater ally. - 40 VOTES
Summer Activities
- Photo:
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon: A frickin' twelve-gauge, what do you think? - 50 VOTES
At the Infirmary
- Photo:
Napoleon: Hey, can I use your guys's phone for a sec?
Secretary: Is there anything wrong?
Napoleon: I don't feel very good. [Secretary pushes telephone towards Napoleon and he dials number]
Kip: [on other line, making nachos] Hi.
Napoleon: Is Grandma there?
Kip: No, she's getting her hair done.
Napoleon: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Kip: What do you need?
Napoleon: Can you just go get her for me?
Kip: I'm really busy right now. [looks at cheese he grated on nachos]
Napoleon: Just tell her to come get me.
Kip: Why?
Napoleon: 'Cause I don't feel good!
Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse?
Napoleon: No, she doesn't know anything... Will you just come get me?
Kip: No.
Napoleon: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my ChapStick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Kip: See ya. (Hangs up)
Napoleon: Ugh! Idiot! - 60 VOTES
Pedro's Bike
- Photo:
Napoleon: Do you ride the bus to school?
Pedro: No, I ride my bike.
Napoleon: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It's a Sledgehammer.
Napoleon: Dang! You got shocks... pegs... Lucky! (Also notices the Flag of Mexico on the back of the seat) You ever take it off any sweet jumps? - 70 VOTES
Throwing the steak
- Photo:
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to toss a pigskin a quarter of a mile
Kip: Are you serious?
Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious. - 80 VOTES
The Mustache
- Photo:
Napoleon: How long did it take you to grow that mustache?
Pedro: A couple of days.
Napoleon: I wish I could grow one. [chomps into a tater tot] - 90 VOTES
Brotherly Love
- Photo:
Napoleon: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip!
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous 'cause I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to become a cage fighter.
Napoleon: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
Napoleon: What?
Kip: I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Napoleon: [comes down the stairs] Such an idiot!
Kip: C'mon, let's see what your best move is...
[After Napoleon tries and fails to hit Kip a few times, the doorbell rings]
Napoleon: I'll go get it. [Slaps Kip in the face while he's not looking]
Kip: Geeeez! - 100 VOTES
Boondoggles
- Photo:
Deb: And here we have some boondoggle keychains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
Napoleon: I already made, like, infinity of those at scout camp.
Deb: Well, is anyone else here? I'm trying to earn money for college.
Kip: [in the background] Your mom goes to college!
[Deb shoves the case into Napoleon's hands and runs away] - 110 VOTES
How was School
- Photo:
Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon: The worst day of my life, what do you think? - 120 VOTES
Quesadilla
- Photo:
Napoleon: Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Make yourself a dang quesadilla! [pronounces it "case-a-dill-a"]
Napoleon: Fine! - 130 VOTES
We're Friends
- Photo:
Napoleon: So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right?
Pedro: Yes.
Napoleon: So you got my back and everything?
Pedro: What?
Napoleon: Never mind. - 140 VOTES
Quote 14
- Photo:
Kip: So how long are we talking about working?
Uncle Rico: What, are you already losing your steam?
Kip: No, I just... I have a chat room meeting at four. I gotta be back here by then.
Uncle Rico: All right, you just start a little earlier, that's all. Or else work afterwards. How long is the chat room?
Kip: Geez, sometimes up to 3 or 4 hours maybe... maybe not...
Uncle Rico: You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you're on, like for minutes on the phone?
Kip: Yeah, Grandma's still paying per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long.
Uncle Rico: I bet she does. I'll tell you something, I'd be throwing you out the window. - 150 VOTES
Nice Bangs
- Photo:
Napoleon: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't 'cause she's doing some modeling right now.
Pedro: Is she hot?
Napoleon: See for yourself. [hands Pedro Deb's glamor shot sample]
Pedro: Wow.
Napoleon: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.
Pedro: I like her bangs.
Napoleon: Me too. - 160 VOTES
Some Tots
- Photo:
[during class]
Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
Napoleon: No, go find your own.
Randy: Come on. Give me some of your tots.
Napoleon: No. I'm freakin' starved. I didn't get to eat anything today.
[Randy kicks Napoleon's pants pocket, ruining the tater tots]
Napoleon: Ugh. Gross. Freakin' idiot! - 170 VOTES
Bully Face-off
- Photo:
[deleted scene]
Don: [playing kickball] Hey, Napoleon. Did you wet the bed last night?
Napoleon: Hey, Don. Did you take a dump in your bed last night?
Don: I could kick your butt, Napoleon, so I'd shut up.
Napoleon: Why don't you go tell your mom to shut up?
Don: What did you just say?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I wanna say!
Don: Did you just say something about my mom?
Napoleon: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't!
Don: Do you wanna die, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Yeah, right. Who's the only one here knows illegal ninja moves from the government?
Don: [steps up to Napoleon] Step up, Napoleon.
[Napoleon slaps him, then runs away.] - 180 VOTES
Facing up to Uncle
- Photo:
- flickr
- CC0
Napoleon: [lying] Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
Napoleon: Too bad. She said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere, Napoleon.
Napoleon: Get off my property!
Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
Napoleon: Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
Napoleon: Maybe I will, GOSH! - Photo:
- 190 VOTES
Retarded Football Throws
- Photo:
[Napoleon, Kip, and Uncle Rico watching Uncle Rico's video of himself throwing footballs]
Uncle Rico: So, what do you think?
Kip: It's pretty cool, I guess.
Uncle Rico: Ohhhh, man, I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state.
Napoleon: This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
Kip: Napoleon, like anyone can even know that.
Uncle Rico: You know what, Napoleon? You can leave.
Napoleon: You guys are retarded! - 200 VOTES
Build a cake
- Photo:
Napoleon: [referring to the dance] Who are you gonna ask?
Pedro: That girl over there.
Napoleon: Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?
Pedro: Build her a cake or something. - 210 VOTES
Election Plans
- Photo:
Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon: Well, you have a sweet bike, and you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're, like, the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Pedro: That's true.
[talking about the school-president election]
Pedro: If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
Napoleon: Sweet! - 220 VOTES
About the Girlfriend
- Photo:
Uncle Rico: What about your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day, so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious. - 230 VOTES
Deb Called
- Photo:
- Metaweb
- CC-BY
Napoleon: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon: No. Not unless she likes fish. - Photo:
- 240 VOTES
Dating Trisha
- Photo:
[Napoleon just hung up the phone]
Pedro: Who was that?
Napoleon: Trisha.
Pedro: Who's she?
Napoleon: My woman I'm taking to the dance.
Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon: Heck yes I did. - 250 VOTES
Decroded Language
- Photo:
Uncle Rico: I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon: I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!
Uncle Rico: Let me tell you about something. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is making 120 bucks.
Napoleon: I could make that much money in 5 seconds!
Kip: Geez, yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you go out there and feed Tina?
Napoleon: Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap! - 260 VOTES
Who You Voting?
- Photo:
Don: Vote for Summer.
Napoleon: Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her.
Don: Then who you gonna vote for?
Napoleon: I'm votin' for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think? [Don scoffs and starts to walk away] Hey, Don. Can I have one of those buttons?
[Don hands Napoleon a "Vote 4 Summer" button; Napoleon throws it at the wall, stares at Don, then runs away.] - 270 VOTES
Drawing a Liger
- Photo:
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic. - 280 VOTES
Denied Lotto Tickets
- Photo:
[Deleted Scene]
Napoleon: [entering convenience store] Hey, how's it goin'? Those egg rolls are looking pretty good. I might get me some later, I don't have any money right now. You know, I think I'm just gonna get me one of them lotto tickets. My wife says I gotta stop but I'm just feeling real positive today and I wanted to try out my luck and —
Cashier: I think you'd better get back to class. I don't sell lotto tickets to minors.
Napoleon: I'm just gonna go get my ID. [bumps into cooler] [outside, to Pedro] Gosh! They wouldn't sell me one. I don't look old enough. Dang!
Pedro: Do you think I look old enough? [in store] Un lotto ticket, por favor.
[The Cashier looks at Pedro's mustache, then sells him a ticket.]
Napoleon: [outside, scratching ticket] Yes! Three spuds! You picked a good one! That's ten dollars! Yes! - 290 VOTES
Pedro's Hot
- Photo:
Napoleon: Why do you got your hood on like that?
Pedro: [flashing back] Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while, but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head so hot. So I went in the kitchen, and I shaved it all off. [done flash-backing] I don't want anyone to see.
Napoleon: I know what you mean. - 300 VOTES
Pedro's Cousins
- Photo:
Napoleon: Are you guys are, like, Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hook-ups?
Sheldon: Who's that in my drive way?[Pedro's cousin's show off their car's hydraulics]Napoleon: That's my ride.
Cholo #1: Simón. [Mexican slang for "Hell yeah"]
