110 Short Jokes for Adults and Kids That Are Actually Funny
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110 short jokes for kids and adults that are real knee-slappers

Stock up on silly dad jokes and corny puns with these hilarious one-liners.

Did you ever wonder what they call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny!

Are all math puns bad? Nope. Just sum.

Sheesh. These short jokes and one-liners are seriously bad, right? You can't deny that they're also pretty hilarious. But that's the point of funny jokes and corny puns: to give you a chuckle despite how utterly cheesy they are. In fact, that's what makes them so, well, grate.

If you like dad jokes but struggle to remember the punchline, you're going to love this collection of short jokes that deliver all the laughs minus the build up.

Better yet, they aren't just for dads. Nope, moms, grandpas, kids and just about anyone else can join in the fun using one of these amusing one-liners.

To ensure that your arsenal of anecdotes is chock full, we've gathered our favorite gags to ensure that you're never without a silly pun or bad joke on deck.

You'll be a one-man comedy show with these knee-slappers that'll keep your audience giggling nonstop.

Use them as ice-breakers at a family gathering, or get your pals chuckling during the next night out. Even if you keep these treasures all to yourself, we guarantee that by the time you're done reading them, your funny bone will be thoroughly tickled.

Best one-liners

Short Jokes
  • I went shopping for a pair of camouflage pants. But I couldn't find any.
  • Bacon and eggs walk into a diner. The host says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
  • I told a chemistry joke once. I didn't get much of a reaction.
  • My dad was hit on the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
  • What do you call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny.
Short Jokes
  • I used to steal soap, but I'm clean now.
  • Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
  • My boss told me to have a good day. So I didn't go to work.
  • I once got fired from a keyboard factory. They said I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
  • I used to be afraid of hurdles. But I got over it.
  • Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can hunt knights.
Short Jokes
  • Are all math puns bad? No, just sum.
  • What does a house wear? Address.
  • I got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
  • I excel at sleeping. In fact, I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • I used to be afraid of painting, but eventually I brushed it off.
Short Jokes

Funny jokes

  • Why shouldn't you marry a calendar? Its days are numbered.
  • Why was the broom late for school? It over-swept.
  • What did the comforter say after falling off the bed? Oh, sheet!
  • How much do you pay deer for a day's work? A hundred bucks.20
Short Jokes
  • Why don't trees watch scary movies? They get petrified.
  • What did the Dalmatian say after dinner? “Woof, that hit the spot!”
  • What kind of bug tells time? A clock roach.
  • What did one beer say to the other? It's ale good.
Short Jokes
  • What do you call coffee with a sixth sense? Déjà brew.
  • What's a llama's favorite movie? “Alpaca-lypse Now.”
  • Why shouldn't you make a dinosaur mad? Because you'll get Jurass-kicked.
  • What do math books wear under their covers? Alge-bras.
  • What do you say to an award-winning cheese? “Gouda job!”
Short Jokes
  • How do movie stars stay cool? They have many fans.
  • It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
  • Where do rabbits go for breakfast? IHOP.
  • Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
Short Jokes
  • Why did the cloud stay home from school? It was feeling under the weather.
  • Why shouldn't you tell a legume your secrets? They always spill the beans.
  • Did you hear about the polite clown? It was a nice jester.
  • What do you call a crocodile wearing a vest? An investigator.
Short Jokes

 Short jokes for kids

  • What did the man say to his fingers? “I’m counting on you.”
  • How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
  • Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn’t bad either.
  • How do pigs do their homework? With a pigpen.
  • How do you hire a horse? Put it on a ladder.
Short Jokes
  • What do pigs use in the shower? Hogwash.
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  • What’s the pirate’s favorite letter? The “C.”
  • What’s the best way to host a party in space? You planet.
  • What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
Short Jokes
  • What kind of witch likes going to the beach? A sandwich.
  • What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  • Why did the sauna go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling so hot.
  • Why did the owl quit its job? It didn’t give a hoot.
  • How much do dead batteries cost? There should be no charge.
Short Jokes
  • Did you hear about the soap-stealing robber? He decided to come clean.
  • Why don’t people play more hide-and-seek? Because good players are hard to find.
  • What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.
  • Why are astronauts so clean? They take meteor showers.
  • When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
Short Jokes
  • What did the hamburgers name their new baby? Patty.
  • One did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Nothing, they’re extinct.
  • Why shouldn’t you trust jungle animals? They’re always lion.
  • What’s the best way to make an egg roll? Push it.
  • Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It had a bad fall.
  • How do you make a squid laugh? Give it ten-tickles.

Short jokes for adults

Short Jokes
  • What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
  • I don’t like shopping centers. Once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the mall.
  • What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
  • I used to have an addiction to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
Short Jokes
  • Why did the golfer cry? He was going through a rough patch.
  • Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
  • What do cows do on date night? Go to the moo-vies.
  • Did you hear about the tree that went into banking? It started its own branch.
  • What happened to the archeologist who lost her job? Her career was in ruins.
  • How does a lumberjack know how many trees he’s cut down? He keeps a log.
Short Jokes
  • Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.
  • Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale? You can buy it with no strings attached.
  • Did you hear about the woman who couldn’t stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
  • Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Any idea how to drive this thing?”
  • I once made a lot of money cleaning up leaves. I was raking it in.
  • I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
Short Jokes
  • Why was the math book down in the dumps? It had a lot of problems.
  • Why do barbers make good drivers? They know a lot of short cuts.
  • Why did the elephant leave the circus? It was sick of working for peanuts.
  • Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Short Jokes
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag’s a plus.
  • Did you hear about the ski trip? It started off fine but went downhill fast.
  • How do you know when a computer is on a diet? It quits eating after only one byte.

Short one-liners that are actually funny

Short Jokes
  • I wanted to take a bath. But then decided to leave it where it is.
  • I’d tell you a pizza joke, but it’s probably too cheesy.
  • I try not to tell dad jokes. But when I do, he thinks they’re funny.
  • What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
  • Why should you avoid artists? They tend to be sketchy.
Short Jokes
  • I’m afraid of elevators, so I take steps to avoid them.
  • Did you hear about the kidnapping? They woke her up.
  • My mom asked me to put the cat out. I didn’t know it was on fire.
  • What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
Short Jokes
  • When is a pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
  • Have you ever been camping? It’s in tents.
  • I once read a book about glue. I couldn’t put it down.
  • Why shouldn't you eat a clock? It’s too time-consuming.
  • Did you hear about the car with logs for wheels? It wooden go.
Short Jokes
  • What did one playing card say to the other? I can’t deal with you.
  • Did you hear about the broken hearing aid? Wait, what?
  • What do you call a cow with bad manners? Beef jerky.
  • What kind of birds eat at the deli? Bagels.
  • Why didn’t the elf pay his rent? He was a little short.
Short Jokes
  • Why shouldn’t you eat clowns? They taste funny.
  • When does a dad joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
  • A bossy man walked into a bar. Then ordered everyone a round.
  • I only catch cold on weekdays. Probably because I have a weekend immune system.
  • Why did the roofer go to the doctor? He had shingles.
Short Jokes