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From today's featured article 

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I was thinking of The Pilgrim Fathers the other day; their fantastic voyage to a new world and the dangers they endured. And I wondered why would God place such obstacles in the way of the faithful? Why did He make their lives in England so uncomfortable that they would swap the warm ale of their homeland for the high seas? Of course, it seems obvious that just as God tested Abraham's faith by demanding he sacrifice his son, so the Pilgrims were forced to sacrifice the casual violence and binge-drinking of home to prove their worthiness to inherit the best that His creation could provide. And how He rewarded them; not just by providing their progeny with proficient dentistry, but by emptying an entire continent in front of them with the divine gift of firearms and the smallpox virus. Surely these God-fearing heroes were truly the men made in His image. Surely too, God gave our forefathers this new home so they could move away from men made according to less divine templates. Surely too He made them cross the Atlantic to put distance between them and those who perversely choose to worship Him incorrectly. Or not at all.

With what interest must He have watched the progress of their tiny ship across His mighty ocean, His unseen hand guiding them through the uncharted waters. And then I thought about how God must see us all from his vantage point in the clouds. Scientists say that the Earth is 6,800 years old. Well, even the most compassionate of beings must get bored, with nothing to look at millennium after millennium but His own handiwork. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
  • ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?

In the news 

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Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States

On this day 

This day's a bit shit, don't worry there'll be others.

June 3: Rhymes With Turd Day

  • 1958 - The hit song by The Rivingtons, "The Turd is the Word" makes the top 40.
  • 1971 - First invasion of the Kurds.
  • 1977 - Melvin Rogers becomes first person to be arrested for DUI. How'd they know? His speech was slurred.
  • 1980 - First all nude production of Richard the Third.
  • 1990 - Name calling and liberal locker stuffing thwarts the first revenge of the Nerds.
  • 1998 - The Rhymes With Turd day is officially abolished, putting an end to a day so absurd.
  • 1999 - Damien Hirst tries making an internal rhyme with Hirst and Turd and is yelled at for being a ponce.

Picture of the day

Fox News: Middle-earth edition
 In an effort to extend its presence to areas that were previously only covered by UnNews, Fox News has founded a subsidiary in Middle Earth to stay competitive on the misinformation provider market.

Image credit: Kharpert
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