Just like in her blog, her social streams including @AmandaPalmer on Twitter, and in her live shows, Amanda really puts herself out there in the book. She’s not afraid to show emotion and to be honest. Much like her TED talk of the same name, Amanda’s vulnerability is a large part of her charm.
“Almost every important human encounter boils down to the act, and the art, of asking,” Amanda says.
She asked as she wrote the book, such as this ask of her fans on her blog Moar book help, it's question time again! "SO... the questions... what do you think men have a hard time asking for? -and- what do you think women have a hard time asking for? think deeply about this. it’s a trick question. and... GO! discuss." When I checked there were over 100 comments and many answers.
I’ve been a fan for more than five years, first writing about Amanda on my blog.
While the book’s title The Art of Asking implies a how-to book (and there are elements of how to ask in it), The Art of Asking is really a memoir.
We learn a great deal about how Amanda, using only her eyes, asked for human connection (and money) while remaining motionless standing on a box in the middle of a busy city dressed as a white-faced bride. While we learn about asking, the stories from this period in her life are about human nature. What makes a person stop and make eye contact with a street performer? Why are some people compelled to kick in a dollar or two? How do these ideas lead to a music career based on fan interaction?
After reading about Amanda’s work as “The Bride”, I’ll never look at street performers the same way again. If the performer is interesting I stop. I’ll catch the eye. I’ll drop in some cash. I’ll forge a momentary human connection.
Celebrated by many (and derided too by some) because of her social media success - a million Twitter followers and a very active blog, Tumblr, and whatnot - Amanda’s fans propelled her to score the most successful music launch in Kickstarter history. She divorced her record label, struck out on her own, and by asking, she raised well over a million dollars for her album Amanda Palmer and The Grand Theft Orchestra, Theatre Is Evil. (I backed the album at a level that got me to an album launch party and rock show in Boston.)
As a marketer, I was intrigued to learn more about the Kickstarter in the book. Was there some “secret”?
Of course, I knew the answers before I even cracked the book. Social media success isn’t about social media at all. It’s about communicating with fans, putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, and sharing the most intimate moments. There are no secrets. And no shortcuts.
Some of the ideas Amanda explores in The Art of Asking:
How do we ask each other for help?
When can we ask? How often?
Who’s allowed to ask?
“We, as 21st century human beings, have an incredibly hard time asking for certain things,” Amanda says. “Something, somehow, has blocked us from feeling like we can turn to one another for help.”
There’s a wonderful riff in the book about how artists connect the dots. Amanda asks: “Have you ever thought about that THIS looks like THIS?”
YES! I HAVE!
And I’ve written about it in my books and in blog posts such as one titled "Great content creation ideas come from seeing patterns".
Connecting the dots. What it’s like to be an artist. Sharing. Asking.
I was so glad to see parallels between my work and Amanda’s.
As I was reading, I kept coming back to the idea that what I’ve been doing for the past decade – writing books, delivering speeches, engaging on social networks – is my form of art. The more I’ve thought of my work as art, initially prompted by Seth Godin's writing, the more fun I’ve had and, I hope, the better I’m able to connect with audiences.
And isn't that true of all of us? We all create art of some kind and connect with other people on a human level.
“In both the art and the business worlds, the difference between the amateurs and the professionals is simple,” Amanda says. “The professionals know they’re winging it. The amateurs pretend they’re not.”
The Art of Asking
In his book The Ocean at the End of the Lane, Neil Gaiman (Amanda’s husband) included this dedication: "For Amanda, who wanted to know."
I wonder how many people wanted to know details about Amanda’s early life. About being The Bride. About how she became who she is. Did Neil? Fortunately Amanda shares.
I’m predicting that there will be two bestselling authors in the Palmer / Gaiman household because The Art of Asking is that good.
Amanda: Thank you. I see you.
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Reviews with images
It's Hard to Describe a Giant Hug for Your Heart
One reason I have loved Amanda Palmer for all these years is that I feel like her personal philosophies are so in line with my own... and some of my own have come from things I picked up from her over the years of following her Twitter feed, things that resonated with me and made me believe that I too could go out on a limb, trust the universe, and ask for what I needed. This book was a great help in examining and dealing with the flip side -- all of the negativity you receive when you dare to do such a thing. Why are people so scared to ask for what they need? Maybe because of the high potential for backlash -- but where has that come from? What makes people respond so venomously? Does it come from others who are just too scared to ask for what they need in their own lives?I listened to the audiobook (which I highly recommend) and found myself constantly nodding in agreement with what she was saying, and at times even sitting in my car for half an hour after I'd arrived home to continue listening. There were definitely stories that made me tear up, but there were ten times as many stories that made my heart nearly explode from the love, tenderness, and affection she expresses for so many, many people all over the world, and for that which those people reflect right back to her. In this book, I felt like I had a friend, supporter, and confidante... it's that good. Read it; you won't be sorry.
Top reviews from other countries
JamesZakaria
Fantastic Story Of Exploration and Self-Discovery
Reviewed in Canada on November 17, 2021
Liz Timoney
funny, heartfelt and fascinating insight
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 9, 2023
