Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
If you’re desperately clinging to the memory of the ’90s and 2000s — the time of boy bands and wonderfully cheesy movies and shows — we’ve got a new title to add to your list. Stuck in the Suburbs, a Disney Channel Original Movie from 2004, is the perfect 75 minute prescription to cure your nostalgia.
Danielle Panabaker and Brenda Song (of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody fame) star in this delightful film about they accidentally switching phones with the biggest pop star since Aaron Carter in 2000: Jordan Cahill. Jordan is played by none other than Taran Killam, who celebrated his 34th birthday last week. Yes, you read that correctly. This is a film in which a young version of the respected Saturday Night Live funny man plays a teenage rock-star/heartthrob. It. Is. Magical.
Stuck in the Suburbs is the perfect DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie, for those of you not in the know), complete with an annoying little brother, a brainiac older sister, and parents right out of a ’50s sitcom. But it gets better. The film dates itself in the best ways possible with landline phones, excitement and awe over cell phones that have internet access (!!!), multiple montages (including one in black and white), and some of the best outfits to ever be recorded on film.
When Jordan comes to the ‘burbs to film his latest music video, Brittany and Natasha (Panabaker and Song, respectively) obviously go stalk him and scream excitedly in a way only teenage fangirls can. Eddie, Jordan’s assistant and BFF, runs into Brittany spilling the contents of both of their bags in a physical comedy bit that would make Melissa McCarthy proud.
Brittany and Natasha, reveling in the power of having Jordan’s phone, proceed to flip his life on its head. They orchestrate a new wardrobe for Jordan, talk to super relevant celebrities like Madonna, accidentally make Jordan’s girlfriend break up with him, and *gasp* trick the hairstylist into cutting Jordan’s hair aka “the golden mane.” The last is super disappointing because the long extremely highlighted locks were a good look for everyone in the 2000s. Case in point, Nick Carter.
Meanwhile, Jordan is very unhappy with the songs the record label is making him sing. He is stuck in his recording contract while Brittany feels as if she’s stuck in the suburbs. He wants to sing something that matters, dammit! Oddly enough, he also has the desire to wear clothes that don’t make him look like a washed up magician in his music video.
Brittany and Natasha decide that they are not going to give Jordan’s phone back unless he plays at a rally to save The Ashbrook House from being torn down because, according to Brittany’s mom, it is “the last thing that makes our little corner of suburbia the least bit unique.”
Eddie agrees to the girls’ demands on behalf of Jordan and everything is perfect…until Jordan runs away. Antics and Disney Channel level dramatics ensue, but Brittany eventually finds Jordan and convinces him to perform his own super meaningful lyrics to his soon-to-be-released single. Jordan agrees and tells Brittany and Natasha, “I’m trusting you two. I owe you that.” That’s exactly how I’d react if someone held my phone hostage and messed with my life for weeks too. Jordan performs the song and, 12-year-old spoiler alert, it’s fantastic.
Jordan eventually leaves town, but not without imparting wisdom to Brittany that “the suburbs are just a state of mind.” When Jordan calls Brittany to invite her to New York, she turns it down because her life is perfect just the way it is (#FullCircle). If that doesn’t solve your nostalgia craving, nothing will.
[Stream Stuck in the Suburbs on Amazon Video]
Photos: Disney Channel and Getty Images
