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女兒的六個爸爸
布魯斯曾經擁有人人稱羨的境遇：婚姻幸福、事業順遂、加上美麗的妻子和可愛的雙胞胎女兒。四十出頭的壯年，人生一片看好——直到醫生宣布他罹患罕見致命癌症。想到自己很可能無法陪著兩個三歲女兒長大，幾乎令這個年輕父親心碎。
他擔心女兒沒了爸爸，更擔心往後沒有人引導女兒如何作夢、如何旅行、如何觀察、如何做自己、如何享受人生。
布魯斯找來六個男性好友組成「爸爸後援會」。這六個好友分別和他結識於人生的不同階段，各自擁有不同的特質。六個爸爸的人生智慧，帶給女兒六堂人生功課。
他擔心女兒沒了爸爸，更擔心往後沒有人引導女兒如何作夢、如何旅行、如何觀察、如何做自己、如何享受人生。
布魯斯找來六個男性好友組成「爸爸後援會」。這六個好友分別和他結識於人生的不同階段，各自擁有不同的特質。六個爸爸的人生智慧，帶給女兒六堂人生功課。
250 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
About the author
Bruce Feiler
55 books341 followersBRUCE FEILER is one of America’s most popular voices on contemporary life. He is the author of six consecutive New York Times bestsellers; the presenter of two prime-time series on PBS; and the inspiration for the drama COUNCIL OF DADS on NBC. Bruce’s two TED Talks have been viewed more than two million times. Employing a firsthand approach to his work, Bruce is known for living the experiences he writes about. His work combines timeless wisdom with timely knowledge turned into practical, positive messages that allow people to live with more meaning, passion, and joy. His new book, LIFE IS IN THE TRANSITIONS: Mastering Change at Any Age, describes his journey across America, collecting hundreds of life stories, exploring how we can navigate the growing number of life transitions with greater purpose and skill.
For more than a decade, Bruce has explored the intersection of families, relationships, health, and happiness. His book THE SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES collects best practices from some of the country’s most creative minds. The book was featured on World News, GMA, and TODAY and excerpted in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Parade. THE COUNCIL OF DADS describes how, faced with one of life’s greatest challenges, he asked six friends to support his young daughters. The book was profiled in PEOPLE, USA Today, and Time and was the subject of a CNN documentary hosted by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
Since 2001, Bruce has been one of the country’s preeminent thinkers about the role of spirituality in contemporary life. WALKING THE BIBLE describes his 10,000-mile journey retracing the Five Books of Moses through the desert. (“An instant classic,” Washington Post). The book spent a year and a half on the New York Times bestseller list and has been translated into fifteen languages.
ABRAHAM recounts his search for the shared ancestor of the monotheistic religions. (“Exquisitely written,” Boston Globe). WHERE GOD WAS BORN describes his trek visiting biblical sites throughout Israel, Iraq, and Iran. (“Bruce Feiler is a real-life Indiana Jones,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution). AMERICA’S PROPHET is the groundbreaking story of the influence of Moses on American history. THE FIRST LOVE STORY is a journey across four continents exploring how Adam and Eve shaped our deepest feelings about relationships. (“A miraculous thing—the literary equivalent of breathing new life into a figure of clay,” New York Times Book Review; “Feiler’s best work yet,” Publishers Weekly).
A native of Savannah, Georgia, Bruce lives in Brooklyn with wife, Linda Rottenberg, and their identical twin daughters.
For more than a decade, Bruce has explored the intersection of families, relationships, health, and happiness. His book THE SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES collects best practices from some of the country’s most creative minds. The book was featured on World News, GMA, and TODAY and excerpted in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Parade. THE COUNCIL OF DADS describes how, faced with one of life’s greatest challenges, he asked six friends to support his young daughters. The book was profiled in PEOPLE, USA Today, and Time and was the subject of a CNN documentary hosted by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
Since 2001, Bruce has been one of the country’s preeminent thinkers about the role of spirituality in contemporary life. WALKING THE BIBLE describes his 10,000-mile journey retracing the Five Books of Moses through the desert. (“An instant classic,” Washington Post). The book spent a year and a half on the New York Times bestseller list and has been translated into fifteen languages.
ABRAHAM recounts his search for the shared ancestor of the monotheistic religions. (“Exquisitely written,” Boston Globe). WHERE GOD WAS BORN describes his trek visiting biblical sites throughout Israel, Iraq, and Iran. (“Bruce Feiler is a real-life Indiana Jones,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution). AMERICA’S PROPHET is the groundbreaking story of the influence of Moses on American history. THE FIRST LOVE STORY is a journey across four continents exploring how Adam and Eve shaped our deepest feelings about relationships. (“A miraculous thing—the literary equivalent of breathing new life into a figure of clay,” New York Times Book Review; “Feiler’s best work yet,” Publishers Weekly).
A native of Savannah, Georgia, Bruce lives in Brooklyn with wife, Linda Rottenberg, and their identical twin daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 328 reviews
May 8, 2010
Won this as a First Reads giveaway. I really liked the idea of it: man gets cancer in his femur and realizes he may not be there for his 3-year-old twins in the future, so he calls upon six friends to create a Council of Dads. These friends represent the different parts of his self, so that they can be his voice should it be needed. The book started off really well--giving background story about a leg injury when he was 5 years old, how he and his wife met, the twins' birth, his diagnosis. Feiler even explores family history, e.g. listening to the audio tapes his grandfather recorded in the 12 years leading up to his suicide in 1983--tapes which the author had heretofore avoided. He even adds periodic letters to his family and friends over the year of his treatment chronicling his experience and the effect on him and his family. Up until about one-third-way to one-half-way point, it was all very interesting, and the author's honesty and humor were endearing.
Even when he began introducing his Council, I enjoyed it. But a couple of things bothered me. First, because of the way he interweaves story about what was currently going on in terms of his treatment, history, letters to his family and friends, and introducing his Council, we don't meet the last guy until he's already all the way through his treatment and been given the "all clear." That timing was off-putting for me. Second, by the middle of the book, the writing style started to feel a little too Mitch Albom for me: kind of sappy and offering cliche life lessons. There was also a feeling of unreality to the book in that Feiler was not your average Joe who got cancer, and his friends were not average either (one has "multiple Emmys," one offered "commentary alongside Bob Costas at the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics," all but one has traveled the world extensively, etc.). Let me be clear: I am in no way trying to minimize what the author went through; it was horrific. However, when I got the book I was hoping to read about how someone like me would struggle with such a diagnosis. Not that there is not struggle in this book; there is very clearly physical struggle through chemotherapy and surgery, then more chemo and physical therapy, there is struggle with fears and struggle with trying to protect a family from the chaos that surrounds potentially terminal illness. But, there were many ways in which Feiler did not have to struggle. He was very well connected and was able to see the best doctor in the country for his cancer. Money was not an issue for him and his family; he was able to devote his time and energy to fighting his disease for a year without having to worry about losing the house. I would have rather read the story of some ordinary guy who never wrote a book before (or at least someone who doesn't have his own Wikipedia page), who doesn't have an extensive and well-connected support system, for whom money is an issue, and who isn't always able to keep his sense of humor, i.e. someone I could relate to more, someone more real.
All in all, this is a good book. I liked it, but it was not amazing to me. I recognize that most of my criticisms of it tell about me as much as about the book, so I recommend you read it and make your own decision. You may find it inspiring.
February 3, 2021
I think I bought this accidentally whilst purchasing another of the author’s books. A father of twin 3-year olds, this is the story of a man recently diagnosed with an aggressive bone sarcoma. Agonizing about his uncertain future, Bruce is worried sick that his girls will not remember him. Having led an adventurous life, and being a prolific writer, he asks six men to prepare to mentor his girls in case of his demise. He describes how he came to choose these particular men, each a colorful chapter. Bruce alternates chapters with letters he wrote to them all during his 2 year journey. This included aggressive chemotherapy and then radical surgery to remove 9 inches of his femur. It is a beautiful memoir, as the recovery changes the way he views the world and life. Bruce writes beautifully and emotionally about what it means to be a father, husband, child, and friend to those who we love. His Jewish southern roots are colorful and interesting.
Having 3 children of my own, it gave me ideas of how I might use my own “council” of friends and families to mentor my own children. Telling one’s story is a gift to the next generations, and it is my belief everyone should always be writing our memories (ok, I’m not following my own advice yet). Though my children are older, the idea that they could learn about my wife and I from trusted friends is appealing – people who can bring different perspectives on their parents as real people, and some history of where they came from.
This would be a great read for anyone going through a frightening time of illness, pondering one’s death. I’ve always been preoccupied with my own death, this awareness giving color and presence to every moment of life, so this one resonated. I have more from Bruce to read, and love his talent and freshness of ideas. He is truly an inspiration.
Having 3 children of my own, it gave me ideas of how I might use my own “council” of friends and families to mentor my own children. Telling one’s story is a gift to the next generations, and it is my belief everyone should always be writing our memories (ok, I’m not following my own advice yet). Though my children are older, the idea that they could learn about my wife and I from trusted friends is appealing – people who can bring different perspectives on their parents as real people, and some history of where they came from.
This would be a great read for anyone going through a frightening time of illness, pondering one’s death. I’ve always been preoccupied with my own death, this awareness giving color and presence to every moment of life, so this one resonated. I have more from Bruce to read, and love his talent and freshness of ideas. He is truly an inspiration.
April 30, 2010
"Take a walk for me."
I cried at page 32. But the good kind of tears, where you remember the awe-inspiring moments of delivering your child and knowing you have a loving partner who has your back, for life. Though I’ve never met Bruce Feiler and his wife Linda, I wish that I could be a part of their lives.
Bruce Feiler, the man who wrote “Walking the Bible,” is suddenly told he has a seven-inch tumor in his left femur.
He will die.
He panics about leaving his twin girls fatherless and so, with his wife, decides to create a “Council of Dads” to mentor his daughters and also serve as a testament (and memorial) to his life after he dies. As readers, we meet each member of the Council of Dads and Bruce reviews their shared history and also asks what each member can provide to his girls. Male friendship is so different from female friendship (and we recognize that Bruce is so lucky to have these men in his life) and their shared memories offer much-welcomed comic relief to a sad, but also uplifting true story. The true tragedy is that a man who made his living walking is now unable to do so.
Interspersed with the intros are (I’m assuming) actual e-mails that Bruce sent out, chronicling his diagnosis, treatment and progress. The e-mails are the best parts of the book - so full of raw honesty, joy in his silly daughters, aching with love for his wife, and always ending with, "Take a walk for me."
I predict that this book will become a popular book club selection over the next three years, as both women and men analyze their past and current friendships and ask themselves, "What will my friend say my life meant?"
Read this book. You don't want to miss it.
I cried at page 32. But the good kind of tears, where you remember the awe-inspiring moments of delivering your child and knowing you have a loving partner who has your back, for life. Though I’ve never met Bruce Feiler and his wife Linda, I wish that I could be a part of their lives.
Bruce Feiler, the man who wrote “Walking the Bible,” is suddenly told he has a seven-inch tumor in his left femur.
He will die.
He panics about leaving his twin girls fatherless and so, with his wife, decides to create a “Council of Dads” to mentor his daughters and also serve as a testament (and memorial) to his life after he dies. As readers, we meet each member of the Council of Dads and Bruce reviews their shared history and also asks what each member can provide to his girls. Male friendship is so different from female friendship (and we recognize that Bruce is so lucky to have these men in his life) and their shared memories offer much-welcomed comic relief to a sad, but also uplifting true story. The true tragedy is that a man who made his living walking is now unable to do so.
Interspersed with the intros are (I’m assuming) actual e-mails that Bruce sent out, chronicling his diagnosis, treatment and progress. The e-mails are the best parts of the book - so full of raw honesty, joy in his silly daughters, aching with love for his wife, and always ending with, "Take a walk for me."
I predict that this book will become a popular book club selection over the next three years, as both women and men analyze their past and current friendships and ask themselves, "What will my friend say my life meant?"
Read this book. You don't want to miss it.
April 5, 2020
This is how much a daddy is supposed to love his kids. Makes me wish I had been blessed more in that regard as there were so many times I could’ve used a man’s input and guidance in my life. Truly beautiful the lessons this book teaches.
May 17, 2010
Bruce Feiler learns he has cancer and he and his publisher come up with an idea for a book. He is worried about the lack of a father figure in his daughter's lives, if he dies. He reaches out to six men who know him best to ask them to step in for him in some way. He goes back and forth between describing his friendship with these men and relating the events of the ensuing year, his struggle with the disease and the effects on his family.
This book is stirring heart-warming, inspiring, moving, etc. I can see this book as being helpful and meaningful to some people, but I am old, I've read too many of these Wednesday with Morrie type things about wise, perfect people and their courageous struggles and their supportive, perfect friends and family.
There are too many other books out there that I'd rather read. I like them more real and/or down and dirty, and imaginative, I guess. I'm a bad person, I will probably not be given any more First-Reads to review.
This book is stirring heart-warming, inspiring, moving, etc. I can see this book as being helpful and meaningful to some people, but I am old, I've read too many of these Wednesday with Morrie type things about wise, perfect people and their courageous struggles and their supportive, perfect friends and family.
There are too many other books out there that I'd rather read. I like them more real and/or down and dirty, and imaginative, I guess. I'm a bad person, I will probably not be given any more First-Reads to review.
March 27, 2022
I quite literally stumbled upon this book as a daughter, going through a difficult time with her father. Whilst at some points I found the author speaking from a place of extreme privilege and therefore unrelatable, this is a heartfet "project".
March 11, 2021
I watched the TV show first. I thought the premise was quite good but the execution poor and so was not surprised when the show failed to get renewed for a second season. My complaint about it was that it was trying to be too many things - as in, diverse in every way possible with far too many challenges. None the less, given that the show was born from this book by Bruce Feiler and that I have very much loved everything I have read by Bruce Feiler, I decided to give the book a go. I'm glad that I did. The book is the premise but not the execution of the show. The book is the true life story of the author and his beautiful handling of a potentially fatal diagnosis. It is his story of creating a Council of Dads for his very young daughters should he not survive cancer. My take away is that we all need councils to tell our stories after we are gone. Stories are what keep us from experiencing the third and final death. Storytelling is an art that very much needs a renewal right now.
February 26, 2023
I am a giant Bruce Feilor fan. I have read and given away his book The Secrets of Happy Families many many times.
This book was such a touching story of him building a Council of Dads in case he passes from cancer.
The messages were so very touching and his letters to his family had me in tears.
It is an easy read and so engaging
This book was such a touching story of him building a Council of Dads in case he passes from cancer.
The messages were so very touching and his letters to his family had me in tears.
It is an easy read and so engaging
July 20, 2020
It was AMAZING! One of the best books I have ever read!
September 15, 2019
Beautiful and emotional read. I highly recommend it especially if you are a parent, expecting parent, or thinking about it.
April 13, 2020
Didn’t quite get it until the letter to his daughters.
June 9, 2021
It was overall cute and sets a tone of hope for someone going through a tragic time in their lives. However, it was very unrelatable in that he had obviously incredible insurance, was traveling all over the country while undergoing chemo, has a formidable wife who founded and runs a multinational non-profit, and an abundance of highly accomplished friends from which to choose his council. He leads a very privileged life and while I can't fault him for his blessings, it was too far outside my own reference points to hear about him going to a meditation retreat in Arizona right after finishing chemo.
I was also bothered by the fact that he introduces these men in their own chapter and then you never hear about them again. I got more insight into his personality from the letters he wrote to his family and friends than I did through the men who are supposed to mentor his daughters. And I knew people who grew up without a parent and I'm not sure that a council of dads or moms would have helped them with the gaping loss of their parent. It felt like this council was more him building his own support system through the guise of helping his daughters. And his daughters are likely find father figures elsewhere, like fathers of friends or coaches, who fit their own needs. This book just wasn't for me.
I was also bothered by the fact that he introduces these men in their own chapter and then you never hear about them again. I got more insight into his personality from the letters he wrote to his family and friends than I did through the men who are supposed to mentor his daughters. And I knew people who grew up without a parent and I'm not sure that a council of dads or moms would have helped them with the gaping loss of their parent. It felt like this council was more him building his own support system through the guise of helping his daughters. And his daughters are likely find father figures elsewhere, like fathers of friends or coaches, who fit their own needs. This book just wasn't for me.
April 26, 2010
I won this on GR'S give-a-ways, and I can honestly say, I would have read this..regardless if I won or purchased it. I must start with saying Bruce Feiler is a brave and courageous man. To endure what he went through, while raising a family, to me is noble in itself.
Bruce, gives detail of his experience with caner, he treatments, doctors and procedures. He also describes how he felt, what he suffered during and after chemo, and how it affected his friends and family. It also shows how friends and family do pull together in tough (emotional) times.
The idea of creating a "Council of Dads" is truly unique and heartfelt.
Each "dad" has a special quality and life experience that Bruce wishes to carry on to his daughters, in the event of his passing. Each "Dad" has a special bind with Bruce, and he digs deep in explanation why he wants this "father figure" to carry out his (Bruce) voice.
Well written and often emotional, The Council of Dad's left me enjoying each day as if it were my last. Having watched my mother survive Lymphoma, I can relate to the emotions and hard times Bruce has experienced. Praise to Bruce Feiler on a fantastic read, and fighting the battle against cancer.
Bruce, gives detail of his experience with caner, he treatments, doctors and procedures. He also describes how he felt, what he suffered during and after chemo, and how it affected his friends and family. It also shows how friends and family do pull together in tough (emotional) times.
The idea of creating a "Council of Dads" is truly unique and heartfelt.
Each "dad" has a special quality and life experience that Bruce wishes to carry on to his daughters, in the event of his passing. Each "Dad" has a special bind with Bruce, and he digs deep in explanation why he wants this "father figure" to carry out his (Bruce) voice.
Well written and often emotional, The Council of Dad's left me enjoying each day as if it were my last. Having watched my mother survive Lymphoma, I can relate to the emotions and hard times Bruce has experienced. Praise to Bruce Feiler on a fantastic read, and fighting the battle against cancer.
May 15, 2010
I got this book and enjoyed it, I had seen the story on Oprah or some news program and thought it sounded interesting though very sad. The father was sick with a rare form of cancer, and in the event he died, he wanted to have 6 men who could, together, represent different aspects of his character or personality and advise his daughters. I thought it was well written and very touching, I especially enjoyed the letters he wrote updating his council of dads throughout the year during his treatment. However, the book seemed to skip around, going from one memory to another, how one dad was chosen to the next, and I found it a little disjointed. I think I would have enjoyed it more if it had skipped around less. Overall I would recommend it to people who are looking for an interesting book and a great idea, whether the parent is sick or healthy, it's always a great idea to have other adults in your kids lives...particularly for those kids whose parents may be out of town a lot, such as children whose parents are in the military.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 12, 2010
I was so grateful to win a copy of this book thru Good Reads First Look. I liked it a lot and it reminded me of combining Randy Pausch and Mitch Albom style of writing with humor, great lines, awesome quotes, and deeply spiritual and moving. The author, Bruce Feiler talks about his childhood and an unfortunate accident that happened when he was a kid. Fast forward years later and he learns that he has cancer. As he worries about his twin girls he and his wife decide on the council of Dads, 6 men that Bruce picks to represent him in the event of his death. Each man comes from a different time in Bruce’s life, not family but ones who mean the most to him. I really loved this idea and it really does make you think about your own mortality as you are reading this. He literally goes thru hell and back with his chemotherapy treatments and pain from the surgeries. Bruce is an inspiration and I urge everyone to pick up a copy of this great book!
July 24, 2018
I love it when really difficult emotions are put so beautifully to words. This book has such a courageous and smart premise. There were lots of quotes I would love to underline and remember (alas, a library book has it's limitations.) One of my favorites, about the power of words, goes like this: "...I was reminded of one of my favorite messages from the Bible, from the opening of Genesis. Before there is order, there is chaos. Before there is light, there is darkness. And what is the only force strong enough to overcome that disorder? What does God use to create the world? HE USES WORDS."
I highly recommend this book.
I highly recommend this book.
May 11, 2010
A good story and a fine way of connecting with your children if you are facing a life threatening disease.
September 27, 2010
I got stuck mid-way through this. I thought it was kind of dull and wasn't what I was really expecting. I'm sure I'll pick it back up at some point, but for now, its going into the book closet.
October 3, 2010
Save me from another whiny, angst-ridden New Yorker.
March 1, 2016
This is a remarkable account of how a man transforms his cancer diagnosis into a lesson in how to live each moment and how to keep his voice alive for his daughters.
July 15, 2022
Inspiring!
July 29, 2020
Depressing, boring, poorly written, unemotional and ultimately uninspiring. I honestly don't see why anyone would enjoy reading this book. It's written by an author who is filled with despair when he gets the diagnosis of leg cancer, then he immediately decides (before anything is done to his body or he has any idea of his life expectancy) to put together six men who will care for his daughters when he's gone.
What sounds inspirational is not--the book is a dull slog through bare-boned biographies of the six men, none of whom seem that big a deal. About 40% of the book is his stilted emails sent to friends during his cancer treatment. None of it makes for a good story that anyone outside those who know him would want to read.
I should say that I am personally experienced with osteosarcoma and went through a similar process as Feiler. Mine reaction to the cancer was totally different. I worked hard to be positive and upbeat through the struggles for family and friends. I had family help in recovery but didn't send out long depressing emails to friends begging for their support the way Feiler does. I not only beat the odds but I worked hard to prove doctors wrong in my recovery.
Feiler seems to have given up from the start and becomes totally dependent upon others instead of seeing it as a chance to prove doctors wrong. He praises his overworked wife for her help but provides no emotional insight into the toll it must have taken on her. He seems unrealistic about the impact his health issues will have on his three-year-old twins. At their age they aren't going to remember any of it but he seems convinced that every small decision he makes will cause long-term impact.
The book and his writing style are very annoying. He comes across as a New York Jewish liberal elitist who assumes everyone is fascinated with the tiniest details about his dull life and treatment. Since I haven't read his other books, I'm unsure if this is his standard writing style regarding his "walks" (which I guess are his thing) but this book would only appeal to the people who think he's fascinating, because based on what's written here he's a self-centered bore.
The author calls the cancer battle a "war" and that it is. My heart does go out to him for what he went through--especially the incredible amount of chemo and the 31-inch leg scar. And I greatly admire his heart for his daughters. But he seems to ignore one big aspect of life in his fight and in his Council: spirituality. He has a Jewish background but says nothing about whether he has a personal faith in God or how that impacted his dealing with the illness. As he faced death he appeared to put his trust in anyone he had ever had contact with instead of working with God or making spirituality even part of the solution.
I'm glad I read this after I had my osteosarcoma issues--to have read it beforehand would have freaked me out because he was in so much despair. Because he has continued to live a decade after the publication of the book it takes some of the punch away from the book's theme ("a letter to his girls from a dying dad"). It tries to come close to the feel of The Last Lecture--only that author died despite being one of the most upbeat cancer patients on the planet. That guy at least knew how to inspire since he was a professor; Feiler is a professional writer and here lacks the ability to connect with people about his disease in a meaningful way.
How this became a TV series I can't conceive because in the end the idea of the Council of Dads isn't even a good one. Six men helping to raise twin girls who still have their mother and other relatives? He could have done it with a couple of guys but six is overkill. And the fact that he ruled out family members on the Council biases the process.
What many learn after going through potentially deadly cancer and horrible chemo is that family is all that's important, and no matter how you feel you have to use whatever God-inspired energy you have within you to fight this inner war yourself.
What sounds inspirational is not--the book is a dull slog through bare-boned biographies of the six men, none of whom seem that big a deal. About 40% of the book is his stilted emails sent to friends during his cancer treatment. None of it makes for a good story that anyone outside those who know him would want to read.
I should say that I am personally experienced with osteosarcoma and went through a similar process as Feiler. Mine reaction to the cancer was totally different. I worked hard to be positive and upbeat through the struggles for family and friends. I had family help in recovery but didn't send out long depressing emails to friends begging for their support the way Feiler does. I not only beat the odds but I worked hard to prove doctors wrong in my recovery.
Feiler seems to have given up from the start and becomes totally dependent upon others instead of seeing it as a chance to prove doctors wrong. He praises his overworked wife for her help but provides no emotional insight into the toll it must have taken on her. He seems unrealistic about the impact his health issues will have on his three-year-old twins. At their age they aren't going to remember any of it but he seems convinced that every small decision he makes will cause long-term impact.
The book and his writing style are very annoying. He comes across as a New York Jewish liberal elitist who assumes everyone is fascinated with the tiniest details about his dull life and treatment. Since I haven't read his other books, I'm unsure if this is his standard writing style regarding his "walks" (which I guess are his thing) but this book would only appeal to the people who think he's fascinating, because based on what's written here he's a self-centered bore.
The author calls the cancer battle a "war" and that it is. My heart does go out to him for what he went through--especially the incredible amount of chemo and the 31-inch leg scar. And I greatly admire his heart for his daughters. But he seems to ignore one big aspect of life in his fight and in his Council: spirituality. He has a Jewish background but says nothing about whether he has a personal faith in God or how that impacted his dealing with the illness. As he faced death he appeared to put his trust in anyone he had ever had contact with instead of working with God or making spirituality even part of the solution.
I'm glad I read this after I had my osteosarcoma issues--to have read it beforehand would have freaked me out because he was in so much despair. Because he has continued to live a decade after the publication of the book it takes some of the punch away from the book's theme ("a letter to his girls from a dying dad"). It tries to come close to the feel of The Last Lecture--only that author died despite being one of the most upbeat cancer patients on the planet. That guy at least knew how to inspire since he was a professor; Feiler is a professional writer and here lacks the ability to connect with people about his disease in a meaningful way.
How this became a TV series I can't conceive because in the end the idea of the Council of Dads isn't even a good one. Six men helping to raise twin girls who still have their mother and other relatives? He could have done it with a couple of guys but six is overkill. And the fact that he ruled out family members on the Council biases the process.
What many learn after going through potentially deadly cancer and horrible chemo is that family is all that's important, and no matter how you feel you have to use whatever God-inspired energy you have within you to fight this inner war yourself.
April 29, 2022
I was surprised by this book, in a good way. I was expecting more of a straightforward intro of the council, how they might aid the girls though their life, and how that might compare to what their Dad would do if he were there or not. Instead, it was a meandering memoir with thoughtful insights and reflections on illness, legacy, parenting, masculinity, friendship, walking, and most of all, family. Bruce is clearly a great storyteller, and the exposition and family history I had thought at the beginning was going to end up being self-indulgent and extraneous to the point of the book, was actually what tied everything together as a narrative of a difficult period of life that made him think about all of the things listed above.
The concept of the council is honestly the biggest takeaway from this book, whether you're facing a momentous life challenge like cancer or not. It reminds me of what I grew up thinking godparents were meant to be in a child's life; particularly in relation to me. My godmother was my mother's closest friend at the time of my birth, and unfortunately when their relationship deteriorated, mine went with it. My godfather is my father's brother, and to me it made sense to have a godparent from each side of my parent's marriage because they were to mentor and love me from the periphery of my parent's influence, and only step into those roles if the worst should happen. As an adult, I understand that the role of a godparent is often more religious, unsurprisingly, and that is how my growing family will treat it. However, the concept of a "council" of figures from my life, or my wife's life, that could act in place of either of us if we weren't available feels like the correction of my idea of godparents that I had in my head growing up. This would take more thought and exploration, but I feel like there are several people who fit the space between family and friend for us in the way that Bruce described.
I will also treasure this book, and likely return to it, because of the nuggets of parental wisdom that Bruce provided and uncovered here. At the cusp of fatherhood, I am learning to value the opportunities to learn and store away as many resources as possible.
The concept of the council is honestly the biggest takeaway from this book, whether you're facing a momentous life challenge like cancer or not. It reminds me of what I grew up thinking godparents were meant to be in a child's life; particularly in relation to me. My godmother was my mother's closest friend at the time of my birth, and unfortunately when their relationship deteriorated, mine went with it. My godfather is my father's brother, and to me it made sense to have a godparent from each side of my parent's marriage because they were to mentor and love me from the periphery of my parent's influence, and only step into those roles if the worst should happen. As an adult, I understand that the role of a godparent is often more religious, unsurprisingly, and that is how my growing family will treat it. However, the concept of a "council" of figures from my life, or my wife's life, that could act in place of either of us if we weren't available feels like the correction of my idea of godparents that I had in my head growing up. This would take more thought and exploration, but I feel like there are several people who fit the space between family and friend for us in the way that Bruce described.
I will also treasure this book, and likely return to it, because of the nuggets of parental wisdom that Bruce provided and uncovered here. At the cusp of fatherhood, I am learning to value the opportunities to learn and store away as many resources as possible.
May 12, 2018
Having seen Bruce Feiler recently speak in Northbrook, Illinois, I feel as if this book is an old friend. I knew much of the story, already. This elaborated on what I already knew. It is the story of a talented, courageous man who is forced to face his monsters as cancer attacks. Having two, three year old daughters adds to this as he realized that he might not be there for them. He finds men in his life to take part on a ‘Council of Dads’ and be there for them in case he doesn’t win his fight. He chooses men who are not blood, men who each stand for some special part of his persona, so that they can relate that to the girls, should need be. It is a story of the importance of emotion and how men need to learn how to deal with it. It is about the importance of storytelling and how it is the glue of our lives. It tells of the need for networking, whether we are dying or not. It also talks about walking and what it represents and how we all need to slow down and realize what we have and how we must observe and appreciate it. This is a very good read by a fascinating man and author.
April 26, 2019
It's hard to judge a book like this so harshly. Oh, you had bone cancer and have to leave your twin daughters at 3 years old? Meh. It's not the story that didn't work. I just didn't connect with the messages of the book. It's great stories and uplifting life lessons, like really. But it's largely a story of death without hope in any future. Almost a desperation for a future with his daughters. Again, it's hard to be critical, the whole book is focused on the life you choose to live and enjoying it while you have it. But, that's all there is. It is very much like the Pixar movie, Coco, except there is no great beyond where spirits stay around until they are forgotten in this life. Instead, people are are only around in this life for as long as they are remembered and that's it. So, it's sad for me to listen to because there is so much joy and hope that comes from seeing death as a comma and not a period (as Neil A. Maxwell once said). A great book for those that need to live their life more fully, but a sad book for those that experience a full life, with all its shortcomings and injustice put into context, in Christ.
March 31, 2020
In all honesty I read this book on a whim not even knowing what it was about .I did not even read the synopsis. So basically it was a blind date with a book. Let me tell you this was overall one of the best books that I’ve read in a long time. It made me cry, it made me laugh and it most importantly made me feel like I knew these people on a deep and personal level one that I was ever so grateful for. This book is one that I will recommend to all I know in hopes that they will enjoy and pass along to others especially to those with children and cancer survivors. “The second half of that wish—“May your last word be love”—is up to you. And if I’ve learned anything from my illness, it’s that we never know when our last word may come. So I beg of you: Be awash in love every day
Excerpt from: "The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me" by Bruce Feiler. Scribd.
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Read this book on Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/163630083
Excerpt from: "The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me" by Bruce Feiler. Scribd.
This material may be protected by copyright.
Read this book on Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/163630083
July 31, 2022
Bravo!! I’m feeling all the empathetic feels. This will be the next book I recommend to practically every single person in my circle.
It’s a brilliant concept turned into a passionate telling of a life story. Heartwarming. Insightful. Sensitive. At times, profound. It‘s simultaneously reflective and enlightening. Beyond that, it’s a well-constructed and thoughtfully laid out book. With thoughts and words we all can live by, whether parents or not. The concepts in this book often gave me pause, an elegant reminder of life’s greatest lessons and prescriptions.
What I maybe loved most was reflecting on who I would select to comprise my own council, and why. The people who constitute various sides of me, those who are a narrative of my selves. Those who have an empathy that is part of the greatness of human beings. It’s such a meaningful concept, and I really believe we all ought to have councils in our lives. I am changed after reading this piece.
It’s a brilliant concept turned into a passionate telling of a life story. Heartwarming. Insightful. Sensitive. At times, profound. It‘s simultaneously reflective and enlightening. Beyond that, it’s a well-constructed and thoughtfully laid out book. With thoughts and words we all can live by, whether parents or not. The concepts in this book often gave me pause, an elegant reminder of life’s greatest lessons and prescriptions.
What I maybe loved most was reflecting on who I would select to comprise my own council, and why. The people who constitute various sides of me, those who are a narrative of my selves. Those who have an empathy that is part of the greatness of human beings. It’s such a meaningful concept, and I really believe we all ought to have councils in our lives. I am changed after reading this piece.
August 23, 2017
I really liked the premise of this book - creating a group of dads to help raise Feiler's daughters should his cancer become incurable. It caused me to reflect whom I would choose if facing such a terrifying, uncertain dilemma. I appreciated how Feiler steered away from family when making his decisions, and instead, focused on men from differing phases of his life that combined, would be able to describe all aspects of Feiler's personality. Feiler's worry, concern, pain and self-pity are felt throughout the book, all overwhelming for anyone to experience. Around the middle, the narrative became a bit befuddled; details lacking and sudden transitions between past and present, to list a couple. Overall, reading this did allow me to appreciate good health. I liked how Feiler ended each of his letters with "and take a walk for me".
January 2, 2019
Being a father of three girls and reading this on New Years day probably skewed my rating, but I was thrilled with this book. The idea was inspiring - namely to form a group of past friends that could speak to some element of the authors life, and help guide, shape, and direct the authors daughters lives in the advent of the authors not beating his newly diagnosed cancer.
While it was the briefest of glimpses into each of the "dads" lives and interactions with the author, it was enough to paint in broad strokes the ideals and morals that shaped the author's life, and how best he hoped to do the same with his daughters.
I of course rolled tears at the last letter to his daughters. It was sweet, cliche, and sappy, but it was everything I needed to start the year off with a renewed appreciation for what I have, and just how precious every minute really is in this life.
While it was the briefest of glimpses into each of the "dads" lives and interactions with the author, it was enough to paint in broad strokes the ideals and morals that shaped the author's life, and how best he hoped to do the same with his daughters.
I of course rolled tears at the last letter to his daughters. It was sweet, cliche, and sappy, but it was everything I needed to start the year off with a renewed appreciation for what I have, and just how precious every minute really is in this life.
February 27, 2020
Fabulous listen--made me cry many times--but also poetic and thoughtful. Enjoyed his perception of his twin girls and what he wanted for them as their father and for his voice to continue to be present, even if he was not. Facsinating that he did research and read the journals/listened to the tapes of his grandfather and wove it all into a story, men's stories of their lives...will definately pick up his earlier books and google him to find out what he looks like as well as what has happened since--think we're within a few years of one another and his girls I think were born in 2005...so just a year ahead of our boys. Would most decidedly recommend for any parents/travelers/philosophers/cancer survivors--heck think anyone could get something out of this self-reflective book/ and gift to his daughters and us--the reader.
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