Dave Barry's Blog

VACATION DESTINATION OF THE SUMMER

Poozeum: Experience "the diverse and intriguing nature of coprolites"

(Thanks to Michael P., Doug O., Steve K., Ed. F., and Annette)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY

Miami gets sticky.*

*Not Safe For Work

(Thanks to pharmaross)

UPDATE

FLYING CARS

Apparently they're here, and according to this sign it's safe for children to play under them, as long as an adult is supervising.

GUESS THE STATE

Five-foot-long invasive lizard spotted "just, like, strutting across the road."

(Thanks to Barry N., who adds, "Makes a nice change from alligators.")

TRULY ASTONISHING NEWS FROM THE ANIMAL KINGDOM THAT WE NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED

Scientists gave squirrels fitness trackers and found that males are lazy and females do all the work 

(Thanks to Catherine D.)

THAT LIGHTBULB MOMENT

He was sitting in his car when he spotted a delivery truck full of beer and liquor pull up outside the Cheers Bar. A plan reportedly came to his mind: Steal the truck. Sell the booze. Pay off his drug debts.

(Thanks to Richard A.)

NO, IT JUST SEEMS LONGER

Men and other mammals live longer if they are castrated, says researcher

(Thanks to Jim K. ["Better to die smiling"] and Linda S. ["I just love that they refer to testicles as death nuggets"])

UPDATE

ADVISORY

For the next ten days this blog will be on vacation a working hiatus in a secret undisclosed location that has beer will remain nameless. During this time blogging from us will be sporadic because of the amount of beer consumption hiatus work that we will be engaging in. It is possible that judi will post here occasionally despite being fired. During this period we ask everyone to please remain calm and above all stay indoors. 

YOU MAY NOW PET THE BRIDAL BOUQUET

Bride Carries Beloved Dog Instead of Bouquet on Wedding Day

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "All went well until time to toss the bouquet.")

CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT

Prince Edward Island celebrates first-ever International Day of Potato

(Thanks to The Perts)

IDEALLY ONE OF THEM WILL HAVE A WORKING CAMERA

Tourists across the world descend on Scotland for biggest ever search for Loch Ness Monster

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SIR ABBA

ABBA get a prestigious Swedish knighthood for their pop career that started at Eurovision

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

Man breaks his own world record for typing with his nose

(Thanks to Annette)

AMAZON CAN DELIVER THEM

Why scientists say we need to send clocks to the moon — and soon

(Thanks to Ron T)

FLATHEAD: COUNTY OF MYSTERY

3:39 p.m. A woman allowed her ex-husband to drive her car as long as he didn’t drive after drinking. The car was returned with several dents and a missing door, which was found in a nearby ditch, but no explanation as to what happened.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE CONSTITUTION OF WHATEVER COUNTRY COSTA BRAVA IS LOCATED IN

Costa Brava town bans penis suits and sex dolls from stag and hen dos

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

HEADLINE-WRITER HEAVEN

Overturned strawberry truck causes jam on two highways

Har!

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Having kids may shorten a man’s life, groundbreaking study reveals

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, who says "For this we needed a study?")