DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is 18 years younger than I am. Our relationship hasn't been perfect, but I love him to death. Unfortunately, I'm going through menopause and have all the side effects. Long story short, he found another girl. It was just supposed to be for sex, and he told me he wouldn't get into another relationship or marry anyone but me. Well, he fell for her, which I warned him he was going to do.

They are both at my apartment. I'm trying to make him happy by allowing this, but he can be so mean to me, and he's so nice to her. He tells me how nice she is, etc. I told him it's because he hasn't hurt her yet. He won't have sex with me now. He claims he isn't favoring her, but he is.

I love him so much, and don't want to lose him. I'm in so much pain because I can't please him in every way. I don't know what to do. Should I allow this and try to make it work, or should I give up since it seems like he has given up on me? -- CAN'T STOP CRYING

DEAR CAN'T STOP: Let me get this straight. Your much-younger boyfriend and his new girlfriend live in your apartment (rent-free), and he no longer makes love with you. What are you getting out of this charade besides pain?

If I thought it would help, I'd advise you to stick it out and hope his romance will blow over. But I can't -- because whatever respect and gratitude he felt for you is gone. The pain you are experiencing will end only when you find your self-respect and usher the two lovebirds out the door. For your own sake, please do it soon.

DEAR ABBY: I am SUPER outgoing! Always have been. I can walk up to anyone and start a conversation. As I've gotten older, I've noticed that many people have no personality. During the pandemic it became exponentially worse. Neighbors don't speak. People look at their phones every waking minute and have lost their conversational skills. It is pathetic.

I don't know people's backgrounds or interests just by looking at them. I'm smart, but I'm not telepathic. If people don't know how to simply say "hi" or "good morning," something is wrong! COVID shut things down. But if you weren't friendly before the pandemic, how are you going to be five years from now? Humanity is doomed if we don't interact. -- FRIENDLY IN THE EAST

DEAR FRIENDLY: The COVID disruption may have contributed to what you are describing, but it had been building for at least the past 20 years. As people became more and more fixated on their electronic devices, the ability to look someone in the eye and converse withered.

If you don't look someone in the eye and communicate in person, the ability to read social cues withers and is eventually lost. I believe this has caused much of the isolation and loneliness we are experiencing in our society. If we are going to fix this, people will have to teach themselves to unplug and reach out to the people around them. Making the time to exchange social amenities as simple as smiling and saying, "Good morning," is an easy place to start.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for nine years. Before that I was a stay-at-home mom raising four children. I had an in-home business, and most of the money went to our family's needs.

My husband became an alcoholic 20 years into our 28-year marriage. After we divorced, my two adult daughters abandoned me because I receive spousal support from their father. Whenever I let them know how much I miss them, the only answer they give is that they will resume a relationship when I stop "taking the money."

My younger daughter and I were close for years after the divorce. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed, and she ceased all communication. I used to have wonderful relationships with both. They have since blocked communication with me and moved far away from me and their father.

I would love to have a relationship with them, but everything is a dead end. If you're wondering, yes, the money is used for living expenses, help, etc. Please help. -- INCREDULOUS IN OREGON

DEAR INCREDULOUS: So your daughters have decided to side with their drunkard of a father and are trying to blackmail you into submission. PLEASE don't allow them to get away with it. Continue taking the alimony to which you are entitled, and go on with your life. You can only hope that your daughters eventually will see the light. As I see it, you really have no other choice because, at this point, you are dependent on those funds to survive.

DEAR ABBY: I am struggling with whether I am obligated to organize a party for our 50th anniversary. I was the main caregiver for my wife until a year ago, when I physically could no longer do it and had to put her in a board and care facility. She has Alzheimer's, is wheelchair-bound, and must be fed and changed.

I still work during the day, but I help put her to bed at night. On the weekends, I wheel her to a park so she can get fresh air and watch kids on the playground. She perks up when she sees me, and I always feel good when I can get her to laugh about something her goofy husband tried to do or botched.

We have five grandchildren close by, and she has two sisters and a brother and many cousins. One sister visits her often. The care facility is small, but they love parties. Anniversaries are important, but as time goes on, they seem to just come and go. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have shared my life with my wife. I would appreciate your thoughts. -- PARTY OR NOT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PARTY OR NOT: If you think your wife would enjoy it, arrange for a cake and beverages and invite the relatives. Before you do that, though, ask her caregivers if it would intimidate or frighten her to have so much activity going on around her. If it would give you pleasure to do this, you have my blessing. However, please remember that it is not an obligation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a lovely older neighborhood and have enjoyed wonderful neighbors over many years. The homes are close together with windows often left open in spring, summer and fall, as large shade trees keep our homes cool.

A couple of years ago, our longtime next-door neighbors moved, and a new neighbor, a single woman, moved in. She was quiet, and we would occasionally visit in the yard. Well, over the last few months, a "problem" has developed. This neighbor has a new male friend who is there much of the time. Since the new friend's arrival, loud moaning sounds frequently emanate from her home.

It quickly went from a bit funny to shocking to annoying. It's unbelievable how loud and prolonged the moaning sounds are, the "Oh, Gods," the slapping and spanking sounds, not to mention the frequent back-to-back sessions.

Other neighbors hear it and have commented, so it's not just we who are offended. One neighbor thought someone was in distress and almost called the police until another neighbor told her what it was. It has awakened us and kept us up at night. Also of concern is that there are small children among our nearest neighbors.

Abby, is there anything you can suggest I do so our neighbor keeps her private business private without embarrassing or offending her? I would sure like to put an end to the auditory assault. -- KEPT AWAKE IN OHIO

DEAR KEPT AWAKE: Approach your neighbor privately and inform her that the sounds of her lovemaking are creating a disturbance not only for you, but also for the other neighbors. Tell her that one of them nearly called the cops, but someone was able to stop the person. Then suggest that when she entertains her gentleman caller, they close the windows, because not only are people scandalized, but there are children who can hear what's going on. Then cross your fingers. If the noise isn't abated, do inform the authorities. Perhaps they can be more persuasive.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband for 40 (long) years. Whenever I do something wrong, I get a note on the kitchen counter. This has gone on for years and years. This is the note I woke up to this morning. "Why did you leave the light on in the garage? To burn it out to see what I would do? I will do nothing except go to the garage in daylight." He always makes it seem like I purposely do things. I'm tired of being treated like this. What is his problem? -- NOTES IN THE EAST

DEAR NOTES: I will assume you have addressed this directly with your husband. For whatever reason, he is hesitant to communicate with you face-to-face, which is why he resorts to notes on the kitchen counter. Instead of openly expressing his annoyance, he expresses it indirectly, which is the definition of passive-aggression. The next time it happens, call him on it -- and confront him directly.