Thu, Jan 9, 1997
Susan claims that looks are just as important as character in society i.e. beautiful people don't get preferential treatment. Vicki and others disagree, so Susan decides to prove her point by getting an enormous prosthetic nose and write an article about one week of life as a woman with huge nose. Sadly, she chose to start her empirical test on the day when she is introduced to the magazine's handsome accountant, Elliot. Meanwhile, Jack is helping Luis to prep for his citizenship test.
Thu, Feb 27, 1997
Jack assigns Susan and Vicki to write a parody of relationship guides, called "The Ways and Means". A problem arises when readers take the parody for real and the girls, pretending to be doctors, get invited to a morning talk show. Women have found Susan and Vicki's nonsense advices actually work. When Susan and Vicki don't expose themselves, they get invited to The Rosie O'Donnell Show. Meanwhile, Todd claims that Luis's accent makes him irresistible to women and sets out to prove it by trying it on random women. And it actually works! Luis, of course, decides to try to prove that he can still pull women without his accent.
Thu, Mar 6, 1997
Jack's grandfather has just passed away, but Jack is upbeat. Susan is going to the wake with Jack, but then realizes she accidentally sent Jack's grandmother a card that says "Do Me Big Time". Vicki gets a "dirt cheap" trip to Acapulco and asks Luis to teach her some basic phrases in Spanish. When Vicki shows no respect for the beauty of the language, Luis decides to teach her a lesson by mistranslating the phrases Vicki wants to learn. Todd has saved a woman from choking to death and gets a visit from federal government agents, who tell him that she was the presidents cousin and now the president owes Todd a favor. Todd declares that he wants to see Area 51.
Thu, Mar 13, 1997
For the first time in her life, Susan has sex on a first date. She quickly starts dating Adam, and the relationship starts to turn serious. Then it turns out he has kids - which terrifies Susan. Luis has taken some pictures of Vicki at the wharf, but Todd notices that he has also captured two celebrities on the picture. Vicki suggests that since Todd bought the film, they sell the pictures for tabloids and split the $30,000 reward. But Luis states that it is against his professional ethic. Vicki then starts plotting how to get her hands on the photos. Jack tries desperately to avoid having to spend an evening with Margo at a benefit event.
Thu, Mar 20, 1997
Susan has spent another passionate week with Adam. Vicki, on the other hand, has lost in "strip Jeopardy", and has decided to increase her wisdom by attempting to read War and Peace. Jack has got himself an apartment and he invites Todd and Luis to visit in order to bond with them outside work. Together, they proceed to turn the apartment into a 'man's' place. Two night's later, the project is almost realized and they hold a party with lots of single women. Elsewhere, Susan and Adam should be going to an event, but Adam's babysitter has canceled at the last minute. Since Adam is the keynote speaker, he has to go. Susan volunteers to babysit, fully aware of the hostile attitude the kids have towards her. However, she is not aware of the surprise visitor who will be appearing at the doorstep. At the office, Vicki predictably falls asleep on War and Peace.
Thu, Mar 27, 1997
After witnessing Susan and Adam's kiss, Jack has disappeared into the woods - literally. Susan has trouble deciding whether to agree to move in with Adam or not. When Jack finally returns, he's been in a snowboarding accident and met the new love of his life, a German amazon Kate, who bears a strange resemblance to someone Jack knows. And for some reason, Susan takes dislike to her and advices Jack to slow down. They argue and Susan slams the door on her way out. Later, when they've calmed down, Jack advices Susan to move in with Adam, but when Susan goes to surprise Adam with her decision, she's in for a surprise too. After belittling and insulting Menudo, Todd gets a threatening letter, followed by Menudos who stalk him.
Thu, Apr 10, 1997
Susan's old friend Paula contacts her and wants to get reacquainted. She has divorced from Susan's ex-fiancée Kip's best friend Scott, having been inspired by Susan leaving Kip at the altar. Susan decides to support her. Vicki thinks Paula does need any support. Todd claims that one cannot abandon one's friends. Vicki guesses correctly that Todd is talking about his "dweeb" friend Jerry, who is 26 and lives at home. Susan points out that one cannot compare Paula to Jerry and that it is not like Susan is to become the center of Paula's universe. Dwight points out that he had a similar illusion of a certain person. Todd visits Jerry and tells him to look at his life: Jerry has not moved on from childhood hobbies. So Todd decides to try to get Jerry live a little in the real world. Paula comes to see Susan at work and presents her resume - one which is not that impressive. She needs Susan's help to make it more impressive. Turns out that Paula has no one else but Susan in her life. When she becomes Susan's neighbor, Susan realizes that Paula is consuming her life.
Thu, Apr 17, 1997
Jack thinks the gang *needs* a special kind of vacation, so he takes them to a surprise 48 hr vacation in a cabin and the surrounding wilderness. Jack insists that this is exactly what everyone needs, but nobody is particularly excited. The fact that he's hidden everyone's breakfast into the wilderness starts a mutiny, but Jack escapes into the woods with the car keys. Susan, Vicki, Luis and Todd fan out to find him. Everyone encounters something unexpected.
Thu, Apr 24, 1997
Susan has decided that it is time to stop feeling sorry for herself because Adam left her. So she's bought a sexy new outfit. Vicki finds news that Susan's ex-fiancée Kip is now engaged to a new woman, which causes her insomnia. Weekend is about to start and Luis wants everyone to see his little brother Carlos whom he hasn't seen in over 10 years. Susan proposes that they take Carlos see the town. Jack can't make it so Susan and Vicki go out with Luis and Carlos. To Luis's surprise, Carlos has lost *a lot* of weight and become a really handsome man. Vicki immediately target's her, but Carlos has a secret that not even Luis knows.
Mon, Oct 6, 1997
Jack's ex-wife, Margo shows up and things are still tense between them. She runs into Susan who asks her to go have a drink with her. It's while they're drinking that Susan mentions the time Jack spent the night at her place and left his pants behind. Margo then takes Jack to court on the grounds that he committed infidelity while they were married which means she could take half of the magazine. At the deposition Margo's lawyer asks Susan if she has feelings for Jack and Jack's lawyer objects but Jack wants her to answer the question.
Mon, Dec 15, 1997
Jack volunteers the staff to sing Christmas carols at a local hospital. Susan gives Jack a private singing lesson. When he tries to kiss her, she resists, and Jack quits angrily. Susan later realizes that she wants to date Jack but finds him on the roof of the office building kissing Maddy.