THE BIG HURT | Kirkus Reviews

THE BIG HURT

A MEMOIR

A flawed yet affecting portrait of a vicious, repetitive cycle.

A memoir of two difficult affairs that bookended the author’s life.

Los Angeles–based writer Schickel was a teenager when her divorced, distracted parents sent her to a “progressive, bohemian boarding school from 1978 to 1982.” She was doing well—on track to graduate—when, without warning, she was expelled from the school following an “affair” with a teacher. In her second book, the author revisits the traumatic events of her adolescence and also describes the affair she had decades later, when she was married with two daughters. The second affair—with a thinly disguised James Ellroy (whom she refers to as Sam Spade, the protagonist of Dashiell Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon)—repeated some of the abusive patterns of the first, though it took Schickel many years to recognize that her teacher had, in fact, abused her. The memoir is well written, and the two intertwining stories are well-structured. However, the author is repetitive about certain elements (her sex life with Ellroy) and sparse on others, like how she finally came to reconcile the two major traumas of her life. “Rather than tell the truth about my past,” she writes, “it would be easier for me to sacrifice my reputation, my career, my marriage, my closest friendships, my children, and my identity to become his lover.” Schickel is a fluid writer and can be funny, occasionally hilarious, but when she strains toward humor amid a painful recollection, the humor often falls flat. Still, her narrative timing is often spot-on. For example, when she finally tells her husband about Ellroy, he asks where she would like to go on vacation. “Nowhere,” she replies. “You don’t want to go on vacation?” he asks. “No.” “Okay, then what do you want?” “I want a divorce, Paul.” That moment carries both weight and wit, and the scenes in which Schickel digs the deepest leave the longest-lasting impact—if only there were more of them.

A flawed yet affecting portrait of a vicious, repetitive cycle.

Pub Date: Aug. 10, 2021

ISBN: 978-0-306-92505-4

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Hachette

Review Posted Online: June 15, 2021

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2021

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THE WOMAN IN ME

Spears’ vulnerability shines through as she describes her painful journey from vulnerable girl to empowered woman.

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A heartfelt memoir from the pop superstar.

Spears grew up with an alcoholic father, an exacting mother, and a fear of disappointing them both. She also displayed a natural talent for singing and dancing and a strong work ethic. Spears is grateful for the adult professionals who helped her get her start, but the same can’t be said of her peers. When she met Justin Timberlake, also a Mouseketeer on the Disney Channel’s updated Mickey Mouse Club, the two formed an instant bond. Spears describes her teenage feelings for Timberlake as “so in love with him it was pathetic,” and she’s clearly angry about the rumors and breakup that followed. This tumultuous period haunted her for years. Out of many candidates for villains of the book, Timberlake included, perhaps the worst are the careless journalists of the late 1990s and early 2000s, who indulged Timberlake while vilifying Spears. The cycle repeated for years, taking its toll on her mental health. Spears gave birth to sons Sean Preston and Jayden James within two years, and she describes the difficulties they all faced living in the spotlight. The author writes passionately about how custody of her boys and visits with them were held over her head, and she recounts how they were used to coerce her to make decisions that weren’t always in her best interest. As many readers know, conservancy followed, and for 13 years, she toured, held a residency in Las Vegas, and performed—all while supposedly unable to take care of herself, an irony not lost on her. Overall, the book is cathartic, though readers who followed her 2021 trial won’t find many revelations, and many of the other newsworthy items have been widely covered in the run-up to the book’s release.

Spears’ vulnerability shines through as she describes her painful journey from vulnerable girl to empowered woman.

Pub Date: Oct. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781668009048

Page Count: 288

Publisher: Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Oct. 25, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2023

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TANQUERAY

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

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A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

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