if you only knew

Producer

Dec. 8, 20231 viewer56.9K views

if you only knew Lyrics

[Verse 1]
I've been tryin' so hard to survive
Sometimes I think that I wanna die
I feel so fucking guilty 'cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life
So I keep all the pain to myself
Losin' faith but nobody can tell
Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me
So I pretend I'm fine

[Chorus]
If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the shit my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry but I need you, oh
If you only knew

[Post-Chorus]
(Oh)

[Verse 2]
I wish I was somebody else
I'm constantly overwhelmed
Now I'm falling again, gettin' drunk with some friends
It's a silent cry for help
I wanna get better, I want you to know
That I can't do this on my own

See Alexander Stewart Live

Get tickets as low as $38

[Chorus]
If you only knew
What my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry, it's true, oh
If you only knew
All the shit my brain is puttin' me through
You'd come runnin' over straight to my room here tonight
I'm sorry but I need you, oh

[Bridge]
Take me out of this hell
Oh, somebody help
Take me out of this hell
Oh, I'm not myself

[Outro]
I wanna tell you what my mind is tellin' me I should do
That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight
I'm too sad to cry but I want to
Oh, if you only knew

Embed

About

Have the inside scoop on this song?

Q&A

Find answers to frequently asked questions about the song and explore its deeper meaning

What did Alexander Stewart say about "if you only knew"?

‘if you only knew,’ is a deeply personal song addressed to my mom about dark feelings I had when I was younger that I felt too scared to talk about. As I got older, and more comfortable talking about this I found myself really leaning on my friends and family. I want people’s take away from any of my music, but especially if you only knew is that you are not alone in your struggles. And people really really care about you. It’s scary to speak up about what’s going on in your brain but it’s so important.

–Alexander Stewart (Fame Magazine)

Is there a live performance of "if you only knew" by Alexander Stewart?