My [28M] s/o has anxiety and deters away from things I [27F] want to do once a year : r/relationship_advice Skip to main content

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My [28M] s/o has anxiety and deters away from things I [27F] want to do once a year

Hi everyone. I [27F] have been dating my [28M] bf of 2 years and we often talk about how we plan to use our vacation or plan for entertainment for the year.

He enjoys hiking and nature primarily but does enjoy going on the occasional city tour. I prefer visiting cities and beaches over nature (have an autoimmune that makes it hard for me to physically do hiking - ive tried) but accommodate so we both enjoy our times together.

Since it's a new year, we have been planning out our vacations [with/without] family and have already taken 2 trips this year plus having one on the way in the summer. 2 of these are within the country and the other one was out of the country about a 4 hour flight to Mexico for my mom's 50th birthday. Every year his family goes to Disney in Florida and a little island off Michigan. I have agreed to do this as long as I have the availability and would be nice if we could go somewhere once out of the year that I would want to. He agrees to this but times I've asked to do anything he has a projected automatic response saying he's been there and has anxiety/fear of planes now but will proceed to tell me all the stories and experiences of that place (e.g. France has been one of my all-time top places to visit and would constantly tell me about the food and wine and the scenery despite me wanting to go there and refuses to go with me). We agreed to try to do camping/hiking in Yellowstone at some point because he really wanted to do that.

On this notion, I've kind of stopped asking him at this point for travel of that sort. Which comes to my problem now: I asked him to come see my favorite dj with me (I haven't gone out since we started dating to any events when previously I would) and his reply was honestly I have really bad anxiety and would have to think about it.

This makes me feel I bit rejected given our history of this sort of discussion.

Can anyone give me advice on how to proceed with these kinds of things? If you have anxiety like this what's your thought/experience? Would it be better if I find one of my girl friends to travel with me/go to concerts instead of my s/o even though I would rather go with him?

TLDR; 28M bf has bad anxiety and doesn't want to go to places/entertainment events with me 27F.

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