Today is Mother’s Day. In the Czech Republic, according to the American model, it always falls on the second Sunday in May. Mother’s Day has been celebrated in Czechoslovakia since 1923, and its promoter was the daughter of the first president, Alice Masaryková.
After the Second World War, the communists gradually pushed Mother’s Day into the background by celebrating International Women’s Day [MDŽ]. After 1989, part of Czech society gradually returned to tradition. The date on which Mother’s Day falls is not uniform worldwide. In addition to the Czech Republic, Germany, Austria, Italy and Greece dedicate the holiday to the second Sunday of May. The manner in which respect and gratitude to mothers is expressed also varies across states. The most common way is to give a small gift. Children usually make gifts with their own hands, elders choose for example a box of chocolates or a flower. But not all children deny their mothers and give them gifts.
“I haven’t been in contact with my mother or father for decades. Father died a long time ago. The mother lives alone in a house in the Central Bohemia region. She is well over 80 years old. A carer drives her, brings her lunches. My father was very involved in the privatization of state-owned enterprises in the 1990s, so whatever my mother needs, she buys it.” says Jan Přešťál from Prague.
When asked why he does not take care of his mother himself, he answers: “You know, mother and father always thought only of each other. Their interest was paramount to them. And nothing was good for them. My wife was no good to them, my children were no good to them. They just lectured everyone, turned their noses up at him, didn’t give anyone space. They didn’t respect anyone.’
“You couldn’t live with them because they didn’t respect anyone. De facto, first they hurt me, but then also my children and wife,” supplies.
When asked if he does not feel sorry for his mother, who lives alone in a luxurious house in the village, but quite without loved ones, he replies that he does not.
“I may be sorry that I didn’t have loving parents or that I don’t have a full family, but I’m sorry, but I never had a father either. They were just buying the affection of others. And they dealt with them accordingly. No way, they never liked anyone, they only liked themselves.” he says.
Even Josefa’s mother will not receive the wish
“When I was a little boy, at school we made these little balls out of tree trunks. It was cumin, I think from Christmas trees, and from it came small branches that we cut and planed everything, and we gave that to the mothers.” Josef remembers his first Mother’s Day gift to his mother.
Since then, he has never given her a present on Mother’s Day or Mother’s Day. And he also says why.
“My mother divorced and remarried my father. Well, over time, her husband began to rule and make decisions in our entire family. Which was also reflected in the relationship between me and my mother,” says Josef.
According to him, when a person is a child, he takes his parents as a natural authority, but at the moment when he himself lives an adult life, he chooses between what is right and what is wrong. He can also judge how his parents behave. Make a conclusion.
“Most of the problems I had in my life stemmed from the fact that there was always a third party coming between me and my mother. And he always followed his own interests. He always stood up for his mother’s interests, but they were always his interests, not mine or mother’s. And the mother just agreed,” he says.
According to him, a separate chapter is dealing with family property. The result is that Josef does not have fun with his mother and he does not wish her on Mother’s Day today.
It’s not just about mothers and children, it’s also about siblings
Petr Koťátko from Prague recently had an argument with his mother because she reproached him that even though he is already 28 years old, he is still studying. And he also doesn’t know when he will graduate or what he will do. However, he still takes money from her and her husband, Peter’s father, to live on. Petr did not spend time with his mother or father for almost half a year. On the contrary, his sister Jana is in close contact with her parents.
“Well, I couldn’t watch it anymore, so I arranged a meeting between them. We met there. And that’s how they said it all to each other. I’m happy, everyone had their say, said what was bothering them, what was their perspective on the matter, and we continue to function well,” says Jana.
And the parents themselves appreciate Jana for her approach. They are glad that she arranged the meeting and brought the family back together.
“If I take it that way, while Petr can be pretty ungrateful, Jana is always where she should be. It helps everyone and works very well. She cares a lot about that family. And I am grateful to her for that, she binds us together and we all work well,” Peter’s mother says.
Her husband doesn’t say anything, but his tears glisten with emotion.
“I think that we raised Jana well, but also Péťa for sure. We tried to be fair to her. And what we could, we did for them, we gave them,” he says, trying not to show his emotion.
Dalibor helps, but only if it pays off
However, siblings in families do not always function as they should. Or as expected of them. While the aforementioned Josef does not talk to his mother, his half-brother Dalibor talks to his mother on the phone every day.
“I try to be with my mother, but also with others, always for good, because it paid off for me,” says Dalibor.
But the problem is that, according to Josef, good is no longer where it doesn’t pay off for him. As he says, he did nothing in the matter of his mother and her relationship with Josef. And he’s not even going to do anything like that.
Josef comments as follows: “I don’t expect anything from my brother at all. This has been shown several times in the past. He goes where he can benefit from it. If he doesn’t benefit from it, he doesn’t go there.”
–DNA–
[Pozn. red.: Jména osob v článku byla s ohledem na citlivost uvedených informací změněna]
