If you’re feeling unhappy in life, these 9 habits might be the cause

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | May 12, 2024, 8:35 am

Life isn’t always sunshine and roses – we all get that. Sometimes, you might find yourself stuck in a rut of unhappiness and can’t quite figure out why.

The culprit might be closer than you think – lurking in your daily habits.

They say the little things make a big difference, and it’s especially true when it comes to happiness. Certain habits, though seemingly insignificant, can chip away at your joy over time.

In this article, I’ll be sharing 9 common habits that could be putting a damper on your happiness. And don’t worry – I’m not just going to leave you hanging there. I’ll also suggest some ways to kick these happiness-killers to the curb. So buckle up, it’s time for a happiness-check!

1) Overthinking

We all do it – mulling over past mistakes, stressing about the future, or constantly pondering what others think of us. It’s called overthinking, and it can be a real happiness thief.

Overthinking can trap you in a cycle of negative thoughts, causing you to feel unhappy and even anxious. It’s like being stuck in a room with a replaying movie of all your worst moments and fears.

The problem is that overthinking often doesn’t lead to solutions, but rather more worries. And this constant mental loop can drain your energy and rob you of the joy of living in the present moment.

Recognizing that you’re an overthinker is the first step towards breaking this harmful habit. Mindfulness practices, like meditation or yoga, can be helpful tools to pull you out of your head and back into the real world.

Just remember, it’s okay not to have all the answers. Life is a journey of learning and growing, not a final exam that you need to ace.

2) Neglecting self-care

I’ll admit, I used to be one of those people who put everyone else’s needs before my own. Between work, family, and social commitments, I barely had time to breathe, let alone take care of myself.

But over time, this neglect of self-care took a toll on my happiness. I was constantly tired, stressed, and irritable – far from the joyful person I wanted to be.

I realized that I needed to make a change. So, I started scheduling time for myself – whether it was a relaxing bath at the end of the day, a weekly yoga class, or just a few minutes of quiet time with a cup of tea.

Sure enough, this small shift had a big impact on my happiness. By taking care of my physical and emotional needs, I found that I had more energy and positivity to share with others.

Take it from me, self-care isn’t selfish – it’s essential for your happiness. So if you’ve been neglecting yourself, it might be time to start making self-care a priority.

3) Lack of physical activity

Our bodies are designed to move. Yet, in the modern world, many of us lead sedentary lifestyles, spending most of our day sitting at a desk or in front of a screen.

This lack of physical activity can not only affect our physical health but also our emotional well-being. In fact, research has shown that regular exercise can boost your mood and help ward off feelings of depression and anxiety.

Exercise increases the production of endorphins, also known as ‘feel-good’ hormones, in our brains. These endorphins can create feelings of happiness and euphoria.

So, incorporating some form of physical activity into your daily routine could be a game-changer when it comes to your happiness. It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous – even a short walk around the block or a quick yoga session can do wonders for your mood.

4) Living in the past or future

It’s easy to get caught up in what has happened or what might happen. We replay past mistakes or dwell on future worries, often missing out on what’s happening right now.

The truth is, the only moment we really have is the present one. Living in the past or future can take away from the joy of the here and now.

Practicing mindfulness can help us stay rooted in the present moment. This means truly experiencing life as it happens – savoring that cup of coffee, really listening when someone talks, or just appreciating the beauty of a sunny day.

So if you’re always looking back or ahead, it might be time to shift your focus to the present. It’s where life is truly lived and where happiness is found.

5) Comparing yourself to others

In this digital age, it’s easier than ever to fall into the comparison trap. Social media platforms are filled with highlight reels of other people’s lives, making us feel as if we’re falling behind or not doing enough.

But the truth is, everyone is on their own unique journey. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel is not only unfair but can also cause feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.

Remember, your worth is not determined by how you stack up against others. It’s about being the best you can be and recognizing your own achievements and growth.

So next time you find yourself scrolling through social media, remember that it’s just a small, often edited, snapshot of someone’s life, not the whole picture. Focus on your own path and celebrate your progress along the way.

6) Ignoring your passions

Do you remember the last time you did something you truly love? Many of us get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to make time for the things that make our hearts sing.

Neglecting your passions can leave you feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. It’s like a piece of your soul is missing, and no amount of material possessions or achievements can fill that void.

Your passions are a part of who you are. They bring you joy, ignite your spirit, and add color to your life. Whether it’s painting, gardening, writing, hiking, or any other activity that you love – it deserves a place in your life.

So, don’t ignore your passions. Make time for them. Because happiness isn’t just about avoiding negative emotions – it’s about actively pursuing what brings you joy.

7) Being too hard on yourself

Perfectionism is a tough taskmaster. I know because I’ve been there. Striving for flawless performance, beating myself up over every little mistake – it was exhausting and, honestly, quite miserable.

What I learned is that being too hard on yourself can seriously impact your happiness. It’s like carrying a heavy load of guilt and self-criticism that weighs you down.

It’s important to remember that we are all human, and humans make mistakes. It’s how we learn and grow. Instead of berating yourself for your errors, try to see them as opportunities for growth.

Start practicing self-compassion. Be kind to yourself when you stumble, just as you would be to a friend. You’ll find it’s a much happier way to live.

8) Prioritizing money over experiences

It’s often said that money can’t buy happiness, and there’s actually a lot of truth to that. While financial stability is important, putting too much emphasis on wealth can actually detract from your happiness.

Research has shown that experiences bring us more happiness than material possessions. The joy we get from buying things tends to fade over time, but memories of experiences can bring us joy for a lifetime.

This isn’t to say that you should ignore your financial responsibilities. But it’s worth considering whether you’re prioritizing money over experiences that could bring you joy.

So, next time you’re faced with a choice between buying something or doing something, consider opting for the experience. You might just find it brings you more happiness in the long run.

9) Neglecting relationships

At the end of the day, relationships are what truly matter. Our connections with others can bring us immense joy and fulfillment, and neglecting these relationships can lead to feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

Invest time in your relationships. Nurture them. Show appreciation to the people who are important to you. There’s a beautiful saying that goes, “In the end, we won’t remember the things we accumulated, but the people we loved and the memories we made with them.”

Remember, happiness is not a solo journey. It’s shared with the people you love and care about. So hold them close, because they are your true treasure.

Final thoughts: Happiness is a journey

The pursuit of happiness is an ongoing journey, not a destination. It’s interwoven in the fabric of our daily lives, influenced by our actions, decisions, and habits.

As we’ve discovered, some of these habits can chip away at our happiness without us even realizing it. But remember, awareness is the first step towards change.

It’s important to understand that happiness isn’t just the absence of unhappiness. It’s an active state of contentment and joy that we can cultivate by paying attention to our habits and making conscious choices.

The renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “The good or healthy society would then be defined as one that permitted people’s highest purposes to emerge by satisfying all their basic needs.” Our habits, in essence, form the foundation for meeting these needs and allowing happiness to blossom.

So take a moment to reflect on your habits. Are they serving your happiness or hindering it? Remember, you have the power to make changes and steer your life towards greater joy.