Heart of gold

Doug Anderson vividly remembers meeting Carol, his wife-to-be, while both were involved as counsellors at a Manitoba camp for children with physical disabilities. They were both 17 years old and just out of high school.

“I met her and as soon as I saw her, I knew she was the one. Both of us knew,” Doug recalls.

“We were married for 52 1/2 years; 56 years altogether.”

Struck with polio at the age of two, Doug Anderson faced lifelong challenges and disabilities resulting from that early illness.

When he met Carol, the love of his life, the pieces began to fall into place a little more easily. She understood first hand the impact of physical limitations.

Born with a heart defect, she was nine years old when she received corrective surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. She suffered a stroke during the procedure and, for the rest of her life, quietly navigated her days with paralysis of the left side.

“The technology wasn’t perfect,” said Doug. “She ended up being the first in Western Canada to survive that kind of surgery. The night of the surgery, her parents were told she wouldn’t survive. She got 64 years extra.”

Carol Joy Anderson died on Jan. 19, 2024, at the age of 73.

Perhaps it was that tough beginning that fuelled Carol’s motivation to push forward no matter what. She had heart issues, but it was that same heart that gave to community and never let anything stop her from being there for others.

“She was the walking encyclopedia,” Doug says of his wife, a voracious reader. “When anybody wanted to know something they’d ask Carol. She had a great memory, she knew everything. She wasn’t arrogant — she had almost no ego.”

After earning a BA from the University of Winnipeg, Carol dedicated herself to being a mother, creating a loving home for her family and actively volunteering in the community. The couple had a son and a daughter and Carol thrived, taking care of both of them at home in their younger years. Over time they would welcome five grandchildren into their lives.

“We pretty much decided that right away, that she would stay at home,” Doug says. “I worked as a young engineer for a number of years; then I started a computer business. That afforded us a lot more money. It worked out good.”

Their daughter, Becka, turned out to have the same heart condition as her mother — a hole in an upper chamber of her heart requiring the same surgery. The technology was a lot better all those years later; at the age of six, Becka went through it and completely recovered.

Carol’s adventures in volunteering involved spending time in various roles at Glenwood Community Centre. She was also a member of the Glenwood revitalization committee, helping to create local community projects.

Most notably, Carol spent 50 years volunteering with the Girl Guides of Canada, with Brownies and Rangers, in committee work with adults, eventually becoming the provincial Girl Guide commissioner. She continued in Guiding while serving on the national council.

Pat Atkinson met Carol in 1990 at Girl Guide training and the pair quickly became friends.

“She always did her best and allowed every member of her committees to participate fully,” said Atkinson. “She was fair; everyone was encouraged to speak. Along the way, people began to realize what a special person she was. She was honest, kept her word and respected them. In return they admired and respected her.

“She was smart, intelligent and a strong leader of women,” she continues. “She was kind and sincere and made friends wherever she went. She cared about Guiding. She realized how important it was in showing girls and women new experiences, independent thinking and growing good citizens.

“Her commitment and dedication to Girl Guides was impressive. She lived the Promise and Law.”

When Carol was elected provincial commissioner, there were cheers across the province.

“We all knew that she would be brilliant in the position,” Atkinson says. “We were not disappointed. We had several issues during her tenure and she led us through with patience and guidance and often with a touch of her great sense of humour. If she couldn’t answer a question she would do research until she could.”

As the provincial commissioner, Carol appreciated receiving invitations to attend meetings or award celebrations.

“This was the fun part — it gave her the chance to mingle with the girls. It was something she never grew tired of. Her rapport with all ages was remarkable,” says Atkinson, adding that even after her committee work was finished, she stayed involved by having a hand in setting up and preserving Manitoba Girl Guide archives.

Doug deeply appreciated his wife for the positive impact she had on everyone she met.

“Her tenacity, considering the situation, having paralysis on the left side, she always had a smile… She was kind. She was pretty positive. When she was with other people she was always encouraging.

“Many of the young girls from the Girl Guides that I talked to have said that they tailor their lives because of what they learned in Guiding. She helped a lot of people. She never left anybody in a lurch.

“She also helped me a lot. We worked pretty well together. You can’t succeed and not build a good team. The kids of today, they have one little fight and it’s divorce court. In Chinese mythology, we are both tigers: I’m pretty determined about everything and so was she.”

Nowadays daughter Becka is Doug’s caregiver, and their son, Jon, regularly visits his father.

“We were so well versed together — we worked well together — because we were both handicapped,” says Doug of his life partner. “I was more physically handicapped than what she was.

“When she was sicker, she was not happy. I’d always give her a little pep talk,” he says, adding that the last little while was especially hard as she started to fade: she couldn’t walk and lost her independence.

“We were always pretty truthful. We were two very direct people — two of a kind.”