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Tell me how this happens. You meet someone you are somewhat fond of, you may date or even try to go exclusive for a minute (or they give you the illusion you are exclusive) and some how you develop more than just friendship feelings that you think are logical and natural but while youre feelings are developing you lose some of that close contact, either they ghost you for a while or just become unable to step up to the relationship you hoped. But while you are distant, or distancing yourselves you find yourself in a tail spin of constantly thinking of them, trying to call or talk to them or seeing them in places by accident and not having the ending be closed properly. So its dragging on that you can't stop thinking of them even though you can see its not the relationship it started out to be. What do you do when you feel like you can't move on or get over someone who was a significant memory but not a significant moment?
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Pretty sure this is a universal experience that all humans go through at some point. Or multiple points, when we're slow learners.
Everyone will probably go through it at some point. You’ll get over it, might take a couple months but it’s funny to look back on. You see all the red flags clear as day once you’re over it.
Yes, struggling with letting go after a break up is really hard. Something that might be helpful is looking into finding out your attachment style (anxious, avoidant, disorganized, secure). It can give you insight into why you're feeling the way you do, and helpful tips on how to deal with it, while also validating your experience. Another thing a lot of people struggle with is limerance, which also sounds a bit like you described.
I try to find someone who is actually interested
That's easy. Lots of people are interested in me. That doesn't mean I want them. I'm funny that way.
I have had this happen many times in life. What helps me is asking myself, "If I was in a crisis situation, like in the hospital after an accident, could I rely upon this person to come and check on me? Or at least call?" If they aren't calling me for regular, fun calls, then they certainly will not be inconvenienced for me.
This helps me to move away from the fantasy of them being some kind of close connection.
In the meantime, I try to put my attention upon hobbies and people that give me joy or at least, distraction. Reading other people's experience also helps.
EVERY.TIME. We are wired to want things more when we can’t have them. It will pass in time, just remember it’s your hormones playing tricks on you.
Look up Limerence - that's what you're describing.
It can feel difficult to let go of tjese feelings, because its a want/wish and not truly real. But you definitely can once you recognise it for what it is and decide that you no longer want to be fixated with this person.