What's some tips to blow her mind in the bedroom? : r/AskMen Skip to main content

Get the Reddit app

Scan this QR code to download the app now
Or check it out in the app stores
r/AskMen icon
r/AskMen icon
Go to AskMen
r/AskMen
A banner for the subreddit

We don’t read the rules, but we’ll post anyway


Members Online
[deleted]

What's some tips to blow her mind in the bedroom?

Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it.
Share
Sort by:
Best
Open comment sort options
u/theskipster avatar

Foreplay should start well before you two get in the bedroom.

To add to this, foreplay should also be given plenty of attention in the bedroom, too. Teasing, kissing, nibbling, etc. until she initiates the next step bc she can’t take it anymore means you are doing things right.

I’ve heard from plenty of women that some guys like to just jump straight into banging, which imo sounds lame and lazy.

u/Upbeat-Ad1647 avatar

Foreplay is the best way to get a woman wet

u/nielsenson avatar

Idk why but I'm over hear dying reading this like a kid answering a question in class

"Very good, Timmy! That's absolutely right, women LOVE foreplay!"

u/Upbeat-Ad1647 avatar

LOL I know it sounds silly, but you would really be amazed at the amount of men who don’t understand how important it is.

more replies More replies
More replies
More replies
u/ThrowRAbeautifulflow avatar

Im a woman and this is totally true. The guy I’m currently seeing kissed me for one hour without doing much more and I was practically leaking onto his bed

Foreplay is more fun than penetrating, imo.

More replies

This

More replies

examples please?

Somebody commented once that was something along the lines of "all day is foreplay". Sounds pretty hot. Flirting and building tension all day everyday.

u/26396 avatar

Foreplay starts wayyyy outside the bedroom.

Nicely put... If not exhausting. Lol.

More replies
u/ANGRY_ASPARAGUS avatar

Wear only a red banana hammock and cowboy boots when you leave the house in the morning. Grab your thermos full of Sunny D and give her a wink on the way out. Return home eight hours later and get ready for the best weekend of your life.

How you treat her in general day to day. Women are turned on by non sexual things. Like men who do housework and treat her well, but not just to get them into bed. Every woman is different but something very small and simple outside the bedroom can make them crazy for you.

u/RodTheAnimeGod avatar

Yeah, serious note.

That has never worked in my experience or any guy I known

"Housework" never did anything, besides make the house cleaner. It's perfectly fine, I wouldn't expect it to. 

the old 'choreplay'.. nope that one's a total myth

more replies More replies
u/gazmal avatar

Choreplqy doesn't work mate. This is one of those things women say they want but in the real world it doesn't do anything. She will be thankful as she would be to her room mate. 

more reply More replies
More replies
u/Hobbes42 avatar

The mind is the biggest erogenous zone. Women like to have fun and be surprised. If you’re on a date with someone you’re really wanting to dig down, surprise her in little ways and try to make her laugh. It’s fun.

Listening when she speaks, cleaning up after oneself

u/Song_of_Pain avatar

That is not erotic or sensual you ninny.

more replies More replies
More replies
More replies
More replies
u/No_Mistake5238 avatar

You got a tongue, right?

u/rentalredditor avatar

Are you talking about whistling? He asked about the bedroom.

More replies
u/Jeffreyrock avatar

This is the answer. Read "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. It's gold.

u/GreatGooglyMoogly077 avatar

Should be required reading.

Though it's really common sense.

Common sense? That's setting the bar a little high ime.

Yeah some of the things he talks about in that book are a little absurd, and I've definitely met women who aren't into it.

Every woman is different. Learn the specific woman.

more replies More replies
More replies

Don’t forget you’re talking to Redditors 😄😄

More replies
More replies
u/Upbeat-Ad1647 avatar

People will be underestimating the power of the tongue

The vibrations from the Arabic ekhhh sound should be good

[deleted]
[deleted]

Comment deleted by user

Gollum Gollum!

u/QuentinTarzantino avatar

She likes it raw and wrrriiigling

More replies

Oh great. Love me free methods

More replies
More replies

Gotta know how to use it though because some don’t

u/No_Mistake5238 avatar

Gotta start all the way at the beginning with some though.

More replies

Thing is, you gotta know how to use it before this is applicable, and like a lot are sayin, not every woman is the same… Possibly similar in ways, but not cookie cut similar… Just my two cents..

More replies
u/jgzman avatar

Yes, but the more I talk, the less turned on she seems to be.

More replies
u/Randomshitposter37 avatar

Change your sheets

More replies

If she says, “don’t stop,” or “just like that,” do NOT change what you’re doing.

Big one. When I was younger “just like that” or “don’t stop” meant increase speed and enthusiasm. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I just ended up fucking up the rhythm and finishing faster.

u/EntireStoreOnSale avatar

😭

More replies

YES!!!!!

u/miss-phoenixx avatar

THIS.

More replies

Ask her, not the guys on the Internet

"When you start, be as a butterfly lighting on a rose.

When you finish, be as a bulldog finishing a bowl of oatmeal "

u/miss-phoenixx avatar

This is the poetry we all need.

[ wipes tears ]

u/no-mad avatar

need a slow hand with an easy touch.

More replies

This is the best advice here, every girl is different in their wants and needs. Open communication is critical for a healthy sex life.

He may not be lucky enough to have a lady that is not too shy to tell you exactly what she wants

I understand, then they need to work on communication, because if they are old enough to be having sex; they are old enough to talk about it like mature adults.

And still in the end only she can tell him what feels good to her.

It’s not reality

For some no, for others yes

It is ideal though.

More replies
More replies
More replies

Omg in one of my previous relationships, I asked her and she wouldn't tell me. She kept saying do what you wanna do ffs

Friend, I am sorry.

At some point you have to force the issue, or leave.

Communication is paramount.

More replies

“Do what you wanna do” is girl speak for “I want you to take charge, do what you want with me, show me how badly you crave it and don’t make me spoonfeed you with how you should fuck me”.

You weren’t compatible, I also don’t want to explain to a guy exactly how to do it. Takes the passion out of it.

I was inexperienced back then. I had no idea what I was doing. I just wanted clear communication I guess.

more replies More replies
More replies
More replies

Was going to say just that. Every woman is different and needs to be treated as such. But the number one advice every woman loves is when you do it exactly as she tells you to. When she says just like that, it doesn't mean harder or faster, just keep on doing what you are doing.

That is a bingo!

More replies
u/pman1111 avatar

Why do so many people jump straight to lecturing about communication. I agree they should talk but sometimes it’s okay to get advice or maybe he wanted to surprise her.

More replies
u/stuckdownarabbithole avatar

Communication is lubrication

Yup

u/Richycut avatar

A pretty good tip….

More replies
Edited

Most of the other stuff I've seen here is good for a nice surprise, but the absolute best thing you can do?

Communicate clearly and without judgement to figure out her wants. Sometimes even the stuff that works for most girls (use your index and middle finger to make a gentle but firm "come hither" motion inside, your thumb to make soft circles on the clit, increasing in speed and pressure only based on her reactions, press down with your other hand above the mons pubis so it's creating pressure on the fingers inside. And DON'T FORGET TO MAKE NOISE WHEN YOU'RE FEELING GOOD. THEY FUCKING LOVE THAT SHIT), won't work for every girl.

Also, make it clear to her that you're a safe space when it comes to not feeling the need to "fake it." Don't be a child about it. Not being able to make her cum doesn't mean you're a failure. Sometimes it means you need to learn her, and sometimes it just means her body isn't ready right now for whatever reason. Just be supportive, and make it clear that you genuinely want her to feel good and have fun with this as much as you do, but you understand if she's not feeling it at any given time, put in the effort to learn her desires, and in time you'll likely find that the sex becomes genuinely mind-blowing for both of you.

u/EconomicsOtherwise60 avatar

This man is a great lover!

This guy fucks 

This guy loves, my man

More replies
u/999BP avatar

This is the best answer

u/Upbeat-Ad1647 avatar

Start with just the pointer finger! Middle finger too can be a lot sometimes unless eased in slowly :)

THIS THIS THIS

More replies
u/Just_Another_Scott avatar

Erotic message. Get her on a massage table, oil her up, and just work on her for an hour or more. Tease and edge her the entire time. She'll be mush by the end of it.

u/OCVTL avatar

100%. I fit a cut out for a wand vibrator into mine and it stays on her spot on slow speed during. When I massage her asscheeks it increases pressure and she’s able to orgasm.

Yo

More replies

Absolutely this

More replies

Mush?

u/Just_Another_Scott avatar
More replies
u/planetary_invader avatar

So do you think that everyone just has a massage table at their house? Standard equipment in each apparment: oven, sink, massage table, shower.

u/Just_Another_Scott avatar

You can use any surface that a person can safely lie down on. Don't be that difficult.

More replies
More replies

Well… I’ve learned through experience that a little teasing goes a long way. Don’t go straight to the clit. Slowww way down. Kiss and grind and foreplay a little first. Slowly kiss your way down her body, moving closer to her pussy and then away a couple times. Maybe even “accidentally brush over it”. Give her body time to react and let her mind catch up. Then, slowly and lightly lick up from the bottom to her clit, but go around the clit (side) when you get there. Don’t give her that yet. Kiss above it a few times, and beside it, and finally lightly circle it once it twice. Give it another long lick up from the bottom up to her clit. But this time, put her clit in your mouth and lightly pull a suction on it, while doing so flick it with your tongue 3 or 4 times. Then move away from it. Go back and swirl your tongue around it a couple times. Then kiss around it a little, then suck and flick again. The idea here is to make her to want you to keep licking it, but you’re teasing her and she doesn’t know when you will. Eventually you’ll focus all the attention on her clit, sucking and licking and different movements. Don’t add any fingers in her until you notice her body reacting to your technique. When you do introduce your fingers, again… go slow. Slow sensual movements. I like to use a “in and out twisting motion” while I’m slowly licking and sucking. If you try the “come here” motion on her G-spot, don’t stop or she’ll lose momentum and have to start over. That’s an advanced technique that some women are unfamiliar with and it could leave her turned off with at first.

😩😩😩😩😩😩

I need to communicate more with my sneaky link bc he goes STRAIGHT to fingering me and I hate it. I really need to be touched to get there. Him going slow and feeling me up gets me so wet.

More replies

Start off oral like a butterfly landing on a tree branch. Finish off like a bulldog eating a bowl of oatmeal.

u/AnweshN2000 avatar

This ☝️

More replies

Be you and listen to her not these guys out here who lie about having a 11 inch dick lmao

u/HusbandFriend avatar

Focus on her pleasure ONLY....she will let you know what she likes one way or another...and then do it and keep doing it......

u/EconomicsOtherwise60 avatar