>Forced to live in a zoo as a walrus for the rest of your life as your former girlfriend says she will always love you while your best friend (now her lover) stands beside her pitying you
How do you vocalise without sounding mad?
>Forced to live in a zoo as a walrus for the rest of your life as your former girlfriend says she will always love you while your best friend (now ...
eeeUUeeEEuuuuUuurrrrRRRrrGGGghhH
your "best friend" arranged the whole thing btw
Frickin tragic what happened to that head of his
Agreed, he needs to keep his massive beard he had, makes him look better
> without sounding mad
I literally go on a rampage until they blast me to pieces.
You’re in an enclosure and the beta male among the other walruses
No exaggeration, this is the worst movie I have ever watched
I wouldn't have let it get to that point
>How do you vocalise without sounding mad?
>GOO GO GA JOOB!
Wait, I’ve never watched this shitheap of a movie.
People know he’s a human who got walrus’d and they just keep him in a zoo instead of helping him?
Yes and feed him a raw mackerel
damn why not at least get him a cheeseburger or something
Because he's a walrus, you feed walrus mackerel
Yes
If a guy survived this shit he'd be the most famous man in existence but in the movie they just put him in a 10m2 enclosure and give him a mackerel once in a while
Yeah. The whole movie is moronic as shit, and not in a "so bad its good" way.
It’s the prime example of something so bad it’s good
How could they help him? It's not like it can be undone. The only other solution is to kill him.
I feel like it can easily be undone, he'll be all scarred and fricked up but he won't be a walrusman anymore.
I think at that point killing him would be humane
In the sequel they try to surgical undo the walrus modifications and it accidentally turns him into a dolphin
I would rather die than live the life of a walrusman and if you wouldn't you should be killed out of principle.
>"Well, guess he's a walrus now"
>throws him a mackerel
What movie even is it?
It's a shitty movie about being turned into a walrus and cucked. It literally has no message and it's by a homosexual hack who should be banned from communicating with the world at large.
It's probably what happened to actual Kevin Smith. He got cucked by Mewes because he was a fat ass loser and the israelites forced him to make a movie about it.
The Mackerel (2014)
Paul Walrus: Mart Cop 2
Yoga Hosers 2: Paul is a Walrus
I feel like they could remove his tusks and walrus hands, to get him in a somewhat human shape. So atleast he doesn't have body-dismorphia over thinking he's an actual walrus. For fricks sake he's eating raw fish, this movie is moronic.
he had no legs, was sewn into the suit, his sides sewn into his arms. just fricking kill him even if he's a podcaster subhuman.
Doesn't matter. Even if he loses all mobility it's better than crawling on all fours. There are people alive with no limbs at all. His mind is degenerating the longer he thinks he's an actual walrus.
It's a Kevin Smith movie. You're not supposed to think, just pretend you like Kevin Smith who is definitely a hip cool teenager and a really good director who is so heckin' funny
but how is the concept of this funny? the original idea was from this ad where this guy payed people to just be in a fluff suit and pretend to be a walrus, not this body horror shit.
Wasn't there another movie recently where people get turned into animals?
You may be thinking of The Lobster, which was very good.
It's actually a prime example of 'so bad it's terrible'
how the frick did he get turned into a walrus
via surgery
A psycho who was obsessed with walruses drugs him, cuts his legs off, mutilates him, turns his shin bones into tusks, and stitches him into a walrus suit made of previous victims.
went to a guy's house, guy turned him into a walrus
he was always that way, chud. the hero doctor gave him walrus affirming surgery
I AM THE EGGMAN
>Tusk by Fleetwood Mac starts playing
How original
moronic ending
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Moosejaws when?
If they played the podcast scenes a bit more seriously and if the sword kid cgi wasn’t so bad this would be a perfect horror movie.
damn you guys dont just run shit into the ground, you take that shit all the way to china. Black folk still call each othe tbh and shit. lol
Why can't I sound mad?
yeah I think this is one situation where anger is actually warranted
To look nonchalant in front of the lady walruses
You won't look cool and sexy
I thought this was an edit
why would psychopath do this moronic shit? kek it's so dumb
The Calamari Wrestler is better in every way. also better than the Lobster.
Way too disturbing a concept for such a fricking dumb and unserious movie. If this was given to those Spanish/French/italian horror masters, i'd be truly something but instead it's this forgotten dumb movie by a manchild who cries to cartoons on Twitter.
Why didnt the guy call 911 instead of his friends
He deserved it for being a basedboy podcaster homosexual. This should be done to more of those guys.
>A male Walrus penis is up to 25 inches long
Can I volunteer?
If he had a female walrus would it really be that bad? He thinks he's a walrus, therefore he should find the female walrus sexually attractive (and who wouldn't?)
So he literally just hangs out in his pen, eat fish and frick his b***h all day, jealous?
I wouldn't vocalise anything, I'd sit there and listen, and that's what no one did.
Don't you think the zookeepers would realize pretty quickly that this is in fact not a walrus but a furry?
Dude weed
>he says bye to his gf and goes out to interview the psycho
>his gf bangs his best friend
>he tries to call them for help while he's getting attacked
>they're banging so hard they miss the call
>he's caught and walrus'd
What the frick was the reasoning behind the cheating shit? It added nothing to the movies idea and themes, could've had a million other missed calls scenarios and would've made the ending of her professing her love hit harder, so why? This waste of fricking time pissed me off so much
YOU WILL FIGHT ME MR WALRUS
OR YOU WILL DIE
total filth