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Going by the numbers, San Jose and SF are the worst cities in the country for dating as a man
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It’s been Man José for hella long
How long would you say? I remember hearing it called Man Jose since the early 2000’s.
At least that long. Ex co-worker (in tech) used to say she was pleased by the fact that she was a rare commodity; she married WAY up.
Up as in money or looks? I don't see too many women dating guys much more attractive. Maybe just money wise?
She married up in money, capitalizing on her very good looks. She’s pretty happy. The guy she married is not as good looking as she is - she’s pretty stunning - but he is brilliant and funny and very, very well-off. They seem to get along v well, and not just bc of the size of his….portfolio.
Every 3 in the bay acts like she’s a 10.
I believe the term is 49er.
Just like engineering school!
When I moved to nyc, it was eye opening how different the talent was. Funny bc lotta Bay Area asian girls that visited nyc complained they weren’t getting hit on compared the bay
Oh great, so it looks like I'll have to marry down if I'll even marry at all.
Or you know, move somewhere else..
My friend said he was from man Jose when we met in 1997. Idk why I remember that
90s too
1990s it was called man Jose. Chances were a good girl had already dated half your guy friends if she wasn't married yet..hell some guys marry divorced women with kids of guys they know
These are ratios on apps more or less...
https://www.sfgate.com/lifestyle/article/Chart-using-Match-com-data-shows-just-how-many-13833667.php
I remember going to happy hour with a few women classmates years ago somewhere in downtown San Jose, and the amount of weird awkward guys who appeared out of nowhere to just stand awkwardly close to our table while staring and saying nothing was a peak Man Jose experience.
fuck, flashbacks to the 1 and only time i went out to DTSJ for nightlife with just one girlfriend. all other times i've gone in big groups or with at least 1 guy friend. never again going out as a pair of girls only.
What are they hoping gets accomplished, by doing that? Someone going to start talking about Python?
Couldn’t tell you. It was just all sorts of weird
Don't forget Menver, Colorado, but Man Jose and Man Francisco seem worse.
San Francisco having alot of men kind of makes sense right?
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So be charming and put in the effort while aiming low ... then it isn't so bad ... greaaaat ... 😆😆
Step 1. Be attractive
That is what many incels think or their excuse for not doing well. It's easier to blame others/apps/society than work on oneself.
Look at a lot of the stories/posts by cmb/hinge etc. A lot of guys are not conventionally attractive.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/drew-barrymore-chelsea-handler-get-blunt-about-mens-bad-dating-profiles_n_63caf26be4b0c2b49ad5520f
It's a joke dude lol. This is a running joke
Step 2. Don’t be unattractive
That's the bare minimum - "smokin' hot" is preferred
Lmao
ukraine has some serious fucking baddies, i would wager a trench in ukraine would actually not be a bad place to date. can you tell i've been in the bay too long? lmao
True and real
36d account obsessed with dooming Bay Area “news”
Also attacking Portland. Obvious bot account is obvious.
It's just some guy trying to lower the price of rent so he can move here
More external agitators. In related news, Russia has lots of single women.
“The most fertile slender tradwives are found in the motherland”
About to be more soon.
Most underrated comment ever. Thank you. Exactly the insight we need in these trying times :)
The odds are good, but the goods are… Russian.
I don’t know about you but when a website called wingman.live writes investigative pieces like this, I’m sure it will win a Pulitzer.
/s
Gotta report it as spam and hope mods will do something
I had a great time dating in San Francisco in my late 20s early 30s. I’m definitely not wealthy either or particularly attractive.
Maybe it’s because I work in construction and not tech lol. Women assumed I was useful I guess.
Maybe you actually have a personality. I remember that being rare when I used to use dating apps in the Bay like 10 years ago.
I like to think so :)
Every Bay Area tech guy got the:
-banana republic polo
-athletic chinos
-allbird or on running shoes
I never had issues dating in my 20/30s either. Women didn't seem to care what job I had but they liked personally and someone that could make them laugh. There's a lot of shitty guys out there that make regular guys stand out for sure lol.
Give yourself more credit than that. I bet there’s a lot more to like.
I know I can be fun. And I’m not ugly and I’m fortunate enough to be over 6’ which might be burying the lede a bit when it comes to online dating.
The useful thing is true, fixing a door or hanging shit on a wall for a lady can work wonders.
Can confirm. Fixing shit around the house gets the ladies juicy.
Ah. There it is. J/K Kind of ...
(Speaking as a 5'8" guy who grew up on a ranch and is quite handy.) :)
I had the same experience. Also not rich or the best looking dude. Went on plenty of dates, dated some women for 1-6 months (until I met my wife).
I learned that more than anything, a personality and liking to do fun shit - along with actually taking the initiative - went a long way.
However, now I am a dad and boring. I remember I was going to go on a bachelor party and my wife said she wasn’t even worried because I had been out of the game for so long, I wouldn’t even know how to talk to random women at bars. She’s probably right.
how tall are you
6’-2”, I know, it’s cheating.
Construction workers have sexy forearms. Hubba hubba
But do they have sexy foremen?
I have engineering degree and managed the projects so a lot of it was wrist strength from writing emails.
We ladies have always dreamed of a man to write our business-sass corporate email replies for us. Hot damn!
"Maybe it’s because I work in construction and not tech"
Yes, honestly.
Likewise. Non-tech worker here. Not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m a decent looking guy, normal, good conversationalist. I’ve been in a relationship for some time, but years ago when I was on Tinder / Bumble / Okcupid I got shitloads of matches and endless dates while living in the East Bay. I could have went on 2-3 dates a week around 2015-2018.
So many people seem to have success with OLD. I tried OKCupid, I never got a single person to reply, and this was when I was much more successful in life. Now that I'm struggling, I've basically lost all hope and submitted to the fact I'm just going to die alone and unloved, probably to be found dead in a chair with the cause of death not being OD but loneliness.
These business models are not striven towards success. They are striven towards subscription. Don’t feel bad match bought out OK Cupid and gutted it from the inside. I used to genuinely like that platform, but it’s pay walled to an obscene degree and I don’t think anybody actually likes using it anymore so a lot of dead profiles. Chin up that says less about you and more about the company
I just posted my comment and started scrolling through to see if anybody else thought that it was pretty good in the area to be honest. I moved here in 2019 as a construction worker and now I'm basically married with two kids. 😂. I had the time of my life moving here and I've never had so many options. As I stated in my previous comment what seems to be the issue, is men don't approach women here.
This is a trashy post from a trashy site ("Wingman AI"?)
Honestly, most times I see someone complaining about the dating scene, it comes down to a "you" problem.
Hygiene; hobbies; health; humility; genuine interest and empathy for the rest of humanity: have or acquire these.
Poster is likely a bot account anyways
Idk about bot but he’s definitely a troll, just look at his comments before this
The title says "going by the numbers" and the numbers they use is the ratio of men: women between 18-34. It doesn't seem to account for relationship status or sexual orientation. I would guess since the Bay Area is a destination for young gay males they would greatly impact that ratio and highly skew the data. Everything else in the article is just fluff and anecdotal. This is not a very rigorous analysis.
I'm sure it has some impact, but LGBT people overall are only about 6.7% of the population here, and gay men are only about 2% of the population - that's far within "margin of error" numbers, and way too low to cite us as even a major contributor to a gender imbalance, let alone the main cause. Moreover, a little more than half of that 6.7% are women, so if you're looking at just top level gender balance numbers between men and women across the entire population, the queer community as a whole is actually skewing the Bay more towards women.
In comparison about 11.7% of the Bay Area works in tech and about 2/3 of those are men - that's around 7.5% of the entire population. There's more tech men than there are all genders of LGBT combined, and 4x as many of them as there are gay men.
So I do find your assertion about gays being the cause for a gender imbalance here to be just a touch ironic, coming in the same comment as a complaint about unserious analysis and not looking at the numbers.
12% of people in SF identify as LGBTQ and that population skews heavily male. Looking at the breakdown on a metropolitan scale while talking about cities misses the point.
So I am fine even if I am not 6+ feet white guy who can't bench 2 plates and have travelled to 10+ different countries?
Don't forget heroin and hyenas!
And apparently hemicolons
Having an informed opinion on the Oxford Comma is, like, a total dating cheat code
Oxford comma is first base
I too like to share childhood traumas on the first date.
🎯
Yes. I’ve never met someone who was dateless and unsuccessful here, who would have magically been slaying somewhere else. Typically the guys who do well here would do just fine in any other city, and the guys who don’t do well here, wouldn’t do well in any other city.
Oh, there are plenty of men who say they have a much easier time dating in New York.
No kidding. I cut my teeth in the South Bay and City just fine and I’m not special. These are communities, not female vending machines with a zip code that simply haven’t been restocked in a while. TF are these incel losers?
If nobody wants to share the same place with you, maybe look inwards as to why…
I check all these boxes but uh I'm just too poor to actually go out and afford a dinner that's not home cooked. I can't afford going out. I can't afford any luxuries or 'fun nights out'. I went to one festival last year and just one this year and it's probably all I will be able to afford to go to for the rest of the year. Being in isolation isn't going to get me introduced to anyone, and of course public transit sucks and is expensive (for me) so I can't even really GO anywhere expecially since I don't have a car and live in an area with no sidewalks, only roads, because only people drive around here.