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Relationship changes
Hey everyone,
I’m curious as to if anyone else is having a little bit of a strain on the relationship being so pregnant. My partner does everything he can to make me and the baby feel loved, but sometimes we argue about the dumbest things and we never argued before this pregnancy. I think it’s just all the stress of an unexpected pregnancy (we’re still over the moon), but I’m curious as to if this is a common thing and if it’s better when the hormones are better ��
I find myself being more bossy than usual during this nesting period and he hates my micromanagement (can’t say I blame him). A lot of things he does drive me crazy too but again, I think it’s just the insane amount of hormones I have right now.
The bickering has been stressing me out, I just want to go back to our lovey dovey selves.
Someone please tell me there is a light at the end of this tunnel ��
I’m thankful to not have much change going on - we were recommended a book though, and it is really good. Even if you’re on a second baby now you could still read it and get some good tools to use to improve your relationship.
It’s called “And baby makes three” by John and Julie Gottman well worth the read for the tools you can use to improve your relationship and make arguments more ‘productive’ so to speak.
I will def look into it! She’s our first and before her we had such a spontaneous and fun relationship, traveling and doing whatever we wanted. Now he’s uprooted his whole life to move to my home state and I think the change is just so stressful. He tells me everyday how happy he is, but us girls just sense times when energy is off
I feel that, things change drastically especially with all the other stuff you guys are going through. The book is really helpful because it allows you both to express feelings and hopefully have a more open communication line so that when you do start to get frustrated you can sit and talk, take a break, talk some more etc. we have 5 week and 4 chapters left but the confidence we’ve gained by reading it (together, somewhat - switching off after each chapter so we can go through the learning points) has been really beneficial for us
Yep. With my son I actually hated my husband. I told him I didn’t want him texting me and even him breathing was so annoying. Luckily we didn’t live together at the time. With my daughter I loved him and everything he did. With this pregnancy (team green) it’s been a mix of him being annoying and wanting to be up under him. He’s going through a lot too so he is a bit stressed. As for me, I get very impatient and naggy during pregnancy and also extremely paranoid thinking he’s cheating ( but he lets me go through his phone when I get insecure and understands the hormones). It gets better in some ways after pregnancy but it’s also a different struggle with a kid especially if it’s you guys first one. Postpartum is no joke and you may feel different emotions big time from that as well so be prepared and maybe read up on some this about it with him. I can say after each pregnancy it took me 2 years to actually feel myself again. It may be different for you. Take it one step at a time and communicate with your spouse no matter what
ugh yes the paranoia is so real. But he’s so good to me, just stressed & sometimes his energy shifts. I feel those shifts so strongly and end up in my head. It’s our first and he’s uprooted his life to move to my home state and to be where I want to be so I have to realize there’s going to additional stress on him. He also wants to golf like every day and although it’s not the worst hobby, it drives me insane how obsessed with it he is. Like he’s missing our daughter’s last ultrasound appt to golf with one of his good guy friends in town for four days in a row. It’s truly grinding my gears ��
that’s understandable. And my husband and I were similar with our first. He would go out every weekend with family and friends but mostly family and it put me in a hard place with the baby. I didn’t really trip as much when I was pregnant but it kept happening after. They don’t have the mothering instinct like we do and sometimes they have to be taught and asked. We ended up going to counseling because we were arguing so often. Finding the best ways to communicate for you two is the key. I highly suggest counseling if it gets too far but it doesn’t sound like that’s where you guys are right now which is great.
My husband and I were fighting the other day and it was so dumb. But in the moment you’re emotional and it’s difficult. This is my 4th child but first with my second husband. For him it’s a lot and he’s trying his best to adjust and be strong. It’s important you guys talk and express how you feel and not wait or harvest feelings.
Yeah that is really normal. At this point in pregnancy we got really irritable bc we're so uncomfortable all the time too. It'll be okay. It'll go back to normal. Try to actively let little things go and he will probably relax too.
I feel this so much! I was literally looking for a post about this because I literally haven’t gotten along w my husband for the past week (I’m 35 weeks) he’s a firefighter and gone for 2-3 days then home for 4 days every week.. idk why but when he comes home and he’s on his phone I just get paranoid and think he’s cheating so I give him attitude and I just haven’t felt connected to him lately
I feel you mama I feel like we’re all like this sometimes
I wish the hormones would stop because I think we’re all trippin at some point
ugh yes, the phone ��. The paranoia is so real
With our first, I found myself all lovey and happy. This time, I definitely have some rage about the most random things and find myself just being cranky for no reason. I’ve just been sure to tell him that I appreciate him often and still love him and apologize for being ridiculous sometimes because I know I am ��
Parenthood is a huge strain on even the best relationships. Pregnancy is hard…postpartum will probably be harder. Try to remember you guys are on the same team. Strong relationships survive the test…even barely ��
My first pregnancy no. But this one we have bickered a bit more than usual. We sat down and talked about it and he felt like he was constantly being asked to do stuff bc im not feeling good/so pregnant. He felt he took on a lot of responsibilities with our toddler too on top of everything else. Where I felt like this is all stuff I usually do and I’m just asking for help bc it’s getting too difficult. After our talk we’ve both been making an effort to be more respectful and help each other where we can!
Maybe a good talk with how you’re both feeling might help?
I would say it’s normal, but not likely to get better any time soon with sleep deprivation and hormones postpartum. I find it easier to keep my cool in pregnancy when I’m still sleeping decently than after the baby is born and don’t sleep more than 2 hours/6 hours total at a time for weeks.
Yeah, it's been bad for us this time around (baby #2). We've been together 14 years and never argued so much over the stupidest things. I get so upset I've seriously thought about divorcing him (totally irritational, he's such a great father and husband) but the hormones are no joke... You're not alone. Postpartum will be rough as well, but there is a distant light at the end of the tunnel ♡
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