For Valor. The Medals of Honor. 🎖️

”The very word "secrecy" is repugnant in a free and open society; we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths and to secret proceedings…”

President John Fitzgerald Kennedy. 1961

”Democracy Dies in Darkness”

The Washington Post.

”Seek Truth, and Report it”

The Society of Professional Journalists.

”Rule 1. You will be permanently banned from this group…if you…

”Mention this group… on social media, a podcast, on the radio, to the media, anywhere in public, or to any male friends”

“Paola Sanchez”. March 2022

”It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends”

JK Rowling. 1998.

For shining a light into the dark places. For telling men something they weren’t supposed to know about, but probably have the right to.

For Valor. Here is the Roll of Honor.

👑The Queen on the Throne 👑

Claire Graham, BBC Northern Ireland. December 2023

”Facebook: Concern over group naming men to be avoided on dating apps”

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-67655218

The first media article to openly describe men becoming suicidal from the emotional abuse of AWDTSG.

They called her a ‘pick-me snitch’ in AWDTSG Belfast, but Claire wouldn’t be silenced.

She did a show on BBC Radio Ulster talking about the financial harm men have suffered, losing jobs, and more.

They watered down her first version within 12 hours, and the radio show has vanished, but Claire remains the unassailable Queen of AWDTSG media coverage.

🥇Gold Medal🥇

Morgan Sullivan, Cosmopolitan Magazine. April 2022

’Welcome to the Wild World of "Are We Sharing Boyfriends?" Facebook Groups’

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a39610093/are-we-sharing-boyfriends-facebook-groups/

AWDTSG New York City was created on March 13th, 2022. Cosmo put this online April 8th 2022, less than a month later.

She changed the name, but if you typed ‘are we sharing boyfriends’ into Google, AWDTSG NYC was the first result.

She got a therapist to say why it is all such a bad idea, and suggested actually ’talking to your boyfriend’

For rejecting Rule 1 the moment it was created, for trying to stop it all before it started, for trying to restore sanity, Morgan earns the Gold medal.

🥈Silver Medal 🥈

Sara Ashley O’Brien, Wall Street Journal. May 2023

’How a Whisper Network for Online Dating Turned Divisive’

https://www.wsj.com/articles/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-groups-2c7d3009

It’s the economy, Stupid.

Analytical, intelligent, exploratory, thoughtful. A true deep dive, touching on privacy, copyright law, and the male experience.

An outstanding piece of journalism, Sara can feel justifiably aggrieved that Morgan got there first, and Claire so beautifully captured the emotional harm. She could so easily be our reigning Queen.

🥉Bronze Medal 🥉

Jamie Khan. Glamour Magazine. October 2022

’Inside the Secret Facebook Group Where Women Review Men They’ve Dated’

https://www.glamour.com/story/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-group

Jamie’s article was the first major exposure of AWDTSG, using its full name, a detailed description, and syndicated across multiple publications. She coined the phrase it’s the whisper network women have been using for centuries’.

The only journalist to ask ’Would Are We Dating the Same Guy be considered appropriate if the sexes were reversed?’, Jamie’s work is the foundation of everything that followed.

🎖️Special Mentions 🎖️

🎖️Suzy Weiss. The Free Press. January 2023.

’He Just Doesn’t Want to Murder You’

https://www.thefp.com/p/he-just-doesnt-want-to-murder-you

No-one describes AWDTSG better than Suzy.

In her own words - ’a paranoid, tech-ed up Stasi’.

🎖️Carlyn Beccia. Medium. February 2023

’Are We Dating The Same Guy?” Has Become A Hate Group To Slander Innocent Men’

https://medium.com/sexography/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-has-become-a-hate-group-to-slander-innocent-men-a5f3a575585c

The title says it all. Carlyn was direct in her view - ’a misandrist cesspool’

🎖️Amy Eileen Hamm. Quillette. September 2023

’Are We Dating the Same Guy?’ https://quillette.com/2023/09/21/are-we-dating-the-same-guy/

Amy was the first journalist to suggest that women might lie occasionally, and that female antisocial aggression is a real thing.

🎖️Fabian Carstairs. The Spectator Magazine. November 2023.

’Help! I’m on a dating blacklist’. https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/help-im-on-a-dating-blacklist/

The only man on our list of phenomenal women. This 'Mea Culpa' is heartbreaking in its baffled innocence. We wish you well, Fabian.

🎖️Campaign Medals 🎖️

🎖️Nancy Jo Sales. The Guardian. December 2022.

’Finally, women are calling out toxic online dates. Now to target the apps themselves’ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/dec/28/women-toxic-online-dates-apps-facebook-groups-dating-platforms

🎖️Darshita Goyal. Mashable. February 2023.

'Are we dating the same guy? This Facebook group might know.' https://mashable.com/article/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook

🎖️Eleanor Peake. The i Newspaper. February 2023.

’Meet the dating vigilantes: The women-only Facebook groups that will vet your next Hinge date’ https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/meet-the-dating-vigilantes-the-women-only-facebook-groups-that-will-vet-your-next-tinder-date-2116995

🎖️Maddy Mussen. The London Evening Standard. February 2023.

’Are We Dating The Same Guy: what really happens in the divisive Facebook group?’ https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-inside-the-facebook-group-where-women-vet-men-they-re-talking-to-dating-apps-b1058726.html

🎖️Lauren Haughey and Ffion Haf. The Daily Mail. February 2023.

’Are We Dating the Same Guy? New Facebook group taking the UK by storm sees women exchange notes on dates and check their dating history with network of thousands’ https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11718933/Facebook-group-taking-UK-storm-sees-women-exchange-notes-dates-check-dating-history.html

🎖️Flora Gill. The Sunday Times. February 2023.

’The Facebook group that asks: are we dating the same guy?’ https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/the-facebook-group-that-asks-are-we-dating-the-same-guy-tpbzlkql6

🎖️Olivia Petter. The Sunday Times. February 2023.

’Why I’d use the ‘TripAdvisor for online dating’ https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/why-i-d-use-the-tripadvisor-for-online-dating-n2sx8m2sl

🎖️Jessica A. Botelho. The National Desk. March 2023.

''Are We Dating The Same Guy?' Facebook group aims to 'protect, empower' women' https://thenationaldesk.com/news/from-the-desk/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-group-aims-to-protect-and-empower-women-social-media-safe-space-relationship-support-love-friendship-liars-cheaters-abusers-toxic-dangerous-behavior-new-york-buffalo-niagara-falls

🎖️Emelie Lavinia. Vice. May 2023.

’Are We Dating the Same Guy:' The Dark Side of These Online Groups’ https://www.vice.com/en/article/dy375q/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-groups

🎖️Olivia Treynor. DocumentJournal. July 2023.

’Would you dox a bad date?’ https://www.documentjournal.com/2023/07/online-dating-manosphere-reddit-facebook-are-we-dating-the-same-guy/

🎖️Alexandra Zissu. TimesUnion. July 2023.

’Are we dating the same guy? A local Facebook group may tell you’ https://www.timesunion.com/hudsonvalley/culture/article/dating-the-same-guy-facebook-group-18257513.php

🎖️Gina Cherelus. The New York Times. July 2023.

’Don’t Worry, He’s All Right, According to at Least One Woman’ https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/31/style/dont-worry-hes-all-right-according-to-at-least-one-woman.html

🎖️Sinead Dalton. Evoke. August 2023.

’Are we dating the same guy?' The Facebook page helping women with time wasters’ https://evoke.ie/2023/08/22/wellness/sex-relationships/are-we-dating-the-same-guy

🎖️Julianna LaFollette. The Bend Source. September 2023.

’Are We Dating the Same Guy? Yes’ https://www.bendsource.com/news/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-yes-19906004

🎖️Sera Bozza. Body + Soul. October 2023.

'If you're single, don't join these secret Facebook groups' https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/relationships/if-youre-single-dont-join-these-secret-facebook-groups/news-story/2fd910278830e15deb9a2fd0d9319100

🎖️Treena Orchard and Erika Chamberlain. The Conversation. October 2023.

’Are We Dating The Same Guy? Online groups toe the line between protecting women and defaming men’ https://theconversation.com/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-online-groups-toe-the-line-between-protecting-women-and-defaming-men-214635

🎖️Kate Solomon. The Independent. October 2023.

'Inside the secret network of women naming and shaming their bad exes' https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-b2428024.html

🎖️Lauren Trager. KMOV St. Louis. November 2023.

’Are We Dating the Same Guy STL’ seeks to vet good catches and ditch the bad. But can it have a downside?’ https://www.firstalert4.com/2023/11/10/are-we-dating-same-guy-stl-seeks-vet-good-catches-ditch-bad-can-it-have-downside/

🎖️Shelby Slaughter. 13 News. December 2023.

’Tucson Facebook page ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy’ aims to warn women about bad apples’ https://www.kold.com/2023/12/02/tucson-facebook-page-are-we-dating-same-guy-aims-warn-women-about-bad-apples/?outputType=amp

🎖️Hannah Feuer. Seven Days Vermont. February 2024.

’In Secretive Facebook Groups, Vermont Women Are Crowdsourcing Men's Red Flags’ https://m.sevendaysvt.com/arts-culture/in-secretive-facebook-groups-vermont-women-are-crowdsourcing-mens-red-flags-40137545

🎖️Brittany Shammas and Marisa Iati. The Washington Post. March 2024.

’Are we dating the same guy? Facebook groups offer intel but upend lives’ https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/03/02/dating-same-guy-facebook-groups/

🎖️McKenzie Rankin. Axios Charlotte. March 2024.

’Facebook group informing Charlotte women about their dates stirs controversy’. https://www.axios.com/local/charlotte/2024/03/25/charlotte-facebook-group-are-we-dating-the-same-guy-controversy

🎖️Natasha Szuhan. The Conversation. March 2024.

’Are we dating the same guy?’ These women-run groups are accused of being toxic, but they carry a feminist legacy’ https://theconversation.com/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-these-women-run-groups-are-accused-of-being-toxic-but-they-carry-a-feminist-legacy-223649

🎖️Olivia Petter. The i Newspaper. April 2024.

’If you’re posting about a bad date online, you might be the problem’ https://inews.co.uk/opinion/posting-bad-date-online-problem-2997814

🎖️Charlotte Roberts. Grazia Daily. April 2024.

’The ‘Are We Dating The Same Guy?’ Facebook Group Is Vital As A Safe Space For Women’ https://graziadaily.co.uk/relationships/dating/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-facebook-lawsuit-women/

🎖️Niamh McMullan. UTV News. May 2024.

’Are we dating the same guy': inside the Facebook group that names and shames dates’ https://www.itv.com/news/utv/2024-05-10/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-the-facebook-group-thats-raising-concerns

🎖️Kathryn Knight. MailOnline. May 2024

’Is the Facebook forum 'Are We Dating The Same Guy?' a legitimate way for women to expose unfaithful lotharios... or a mean-spirited gossip site that's unfair on men?’ https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13435591/Facebook-forum-Dating-Guy-women-expose-unfaithful-lotharios-gossip-unfair.html