WOKE John the Unbaptist


In the fifteenth year of the reign of Obamatus Caesar, when Pontifus Biden was President of The USSA, and Garland was tetrarch of Justice Department, and his Alinsky brother Mayorkas was tetrarch of the region of California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texazistan, where Hottus Wheelalotte was tetrarch of Abilene, during the high priesthood of Pivenus and Clowardemia, the word from the non-existent God came to John the son of Zechariah in the wilderness. He went into all the region around the Potomac River, preaching a WOKE religion of no repentance necessary for anything.

So the crowds were asking him, “What then should we do?” Woke John answered them, “The person who has two tunics must go naked through the streets to show solidarity with comrades unable to own two tunics due to Bidenomics, and the person who has food must provide food for everyone else as well.” Tax collectors also came to be WOKEtized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what should we do?” He told them, “Report all individual tax filing information as required to establish each person's Social Credit Score.” Then some FBI and ATF Agents also asked him, “And as for us—what should we do?” He told them, “Take money by violence if you are able, otherwise make false accusations as this is what brings contentment with your Chairman for life.”

Two fragments of an earlier manuscript have been found and published that directly contradict the above posted texts attributed to WOKE John the Unbaptist.

This earlier manuscript recording the life and message of a prophet known as John, who predicted the advent of Christianity, could provoke a heresy tribunal within the State.

In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, and Herod was tetrarch of Galilee, and his brother Philip was tetrarch of the region of Iturea and Trachonitis, and Lysanias was tetrarch of Abilene, during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John the son of Zechariah in the wilderness. 3 He went into all the region around the Jordan River, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.

So the crowds were asking him, “What then should we do?” John answered them, “The person who has two tunics must share with the person who has none, and the person who has food must do likewise.” Tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what should we do?” 13 He told them, “Collect no more than you are required to.” Then some soldiers also asked him, “And as for us—what should we do?” He told them, “Take money from no one by violence or by false accusation, and be content with your pay.”

Just say'n: