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Must Ask INTPs About Love Life
I initially wrote this and it was many paragraphs long, but no one cares that much about what happened. This might not be the best place but idk where else to go.
I was talking to this girl for months all while being clear that i liked her, took her to prom, we promised each other the world, after i tried making it official, she said wasn't the kind of person for a relationship but still wanted to be friends, then ghosted me. By the way i never have liked someone as much as i liked her, i put in my everything and really would do anything for a second chance.
I am a junior, my friend who is a senior and graduating in a week, his ex girlfriend found out and messaged me. we started hanging out and we've been on a date, but i don't feel the same connection i did with the other girl. So i am conflicted, i kinda like her but i also want to focus on myself, i don't want to lead her on but i also don't want to throw away this chance. It might not be fair to her tho because i still like the other girl more than her and it might be seen as a betrayal of my friend.
What do i do?
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That’s a tough situation, and I don’t necessarily think you should be taking advice from here for this. Lol!
But, in seriousness…it isn’t a great situation to be in. I always operated in the mindset that time is valuable, (especially for women in this regard) and if they aren’t the right person…then don’t be an obstacle to their happiness. You can actually be a better friend in this regard.
So, by putting their needs first, it solved the situation.
thanks man, i this really helped me. it is better off for everyone if i break it off with her so ill try to discuss it with her soon.
Maybe you caught it in time to where you can still be good friends, there’s worse things than having people in your life who actually like and care about you.
Don't waste another think on the girl who ghosted you. Beware the other girl being on the rebound.
Try putting yourself in their shoes, and then answering your own question.
For instance, would you be okay with a girl dating you all the while pining away for another guy who won't give her the time of day? Would you be okay knowing that she'd let you go at the drop of a hat if she thought she even had a little chance with someone else?
Relationships for most people are a shitshow when you’re young, and especially for INTPs.
Sometimes also when old, but definitely when young.
I’ve found the saying “If you love it let it go, and if it comes back it’s yours” to be a good slogan. Let the first girl go and don’t count on her return. Treat it as though she’ll never be back. Let life move the way it is going to move.
Idk about the new girl, may be a little betrayal to go after your friend’s ex.